from previous....

.....he stood  there devoid of all  feelings,  his mind a blank, his heart completely  vacant of any emotions, yet he was confused,  the feeble man  that lay in cot before him was his father,  weak,  helpless  , he had to do it,  

He was in a   chaotic  state of mind,  partly  he wanted to give up all and flee , because  what ever  was happening there was not  of his doing,  he was not responsible at all,  on the other hand  his  conscience  was accusing  him  to show  mercy if he had no  love  for the man his father