gazal...

.....agreed the wound is healing slowly 

But feelings are  dying

Like the value of heart is not certain 

Beloved is  settling down in the heart 

Nobody is seen ready to  give 

But the vessel  is filling up

Definitely blossom heart is hers

That is overflowing with joy 

Scattered are the hues around 

That are coloring  my life

Salim  the world calls him 

Is dead inside him

page 24....

.....today  bano appa also had come,   , gossiping about everything and nothing  finally  the topic of  marriage  struck,   bano appa said  arsalan   rebels  everytime  she spoke of him getting married,  , 

Almas said  in fact young marriageable boys  feel happy and enjoy the   subject so much,  humza everytime broadly grins showing all his teeth  laughed she

Appa  worriedly expressed  would she die without seeing him married and all her dreams  will be buried with her  poor bano appa was quite disheartened,  azma  felt bad for her phuphu aunt

gazal

.....Eyes that are apparently  desert dry

Become rivers  on your name 

Thinking of moving  to some unknown town 

Fearing them who enquire about  life 

Dark is the fate but not  unlucky i  am

Tears are related to daylight

Not identified with the rest 

This is my sin and this is my  verdict

They  watch me in detail  because 

It is  known  how deep are the wounds 

Look no more for   mourners as companions

Enough it is someone laughs with you

What to do with the night of mourning 

When there is no garden nor desert to cry

page 19....

,.. both sisters needed to buy somethings for sadaf s marriage  , almas sent them with azma to the market,  , they returned home quite late,  Sabina had got all she wanted,  but samira returned empty handed,  , almas  became extremely angry,  ,what was to become of her , so much time  was wasted  and still  she didn't buy anything,   she scolded  azma, there were to be no more  rounds for shopping  for the rest of the month,  ,  samira argued it was not right, children were to prepare for their exams,   it would be better if they bought something  whether they liked it or not,  , almas  wanted to speak up but azma stopped her by holding her hand,  softly adding   girls in this age  behaved like this,  it was normal,  ,  but almas s point was not understood  by azma  and it was  the girl was to be  married 

from previous...

.....almas beghum  sat silent watching around  feeling somewhat  embarrassed and irritable,  farhat brought two cups of tea,  greeting her placed the tray on  a stool  as Rahat bhabhi walked in slowly  holding a tiny glass bottle  of massaging  oil  quickly opening the box of her  illnesses  meantime finishing  her tea  she pushed the tray towards  her sister in law 

page 15...

.....humza was now just in ninth standard in school  and almas was a homely woman,  who didn't know  the a b c of business,  whole life boat was trapped in a strong  storm,  in such a stormy weather  adjustment bhai only was her life support  giving his full support to his sister,  , Hamid ali was a young man  who suddenly had left them in a great shock, 

from previous....

.....shahu and Sabina had grown up together,  laughing  and crying  at the same thing and quarreling  and playing,  now  knowing  it was a turning point in life and  ew different bonding was being made  a strange  mysterious feeling  throbbed her her heart,  at this point in life  another name is joined to  theirs  giving it much more weightage than  the rest , in her hear Sabina allowed shahu s name to sparkle her soul 

from previous....

....almas beghum and  Hamid ali were very happy,  Hamid ali s experienced  eye saw  in shehroz all he needed to see 8n his son in law,  oh yes Rahat bhabhi  s nature was a bit hard though  but  now sge was on just this point  agreeing to ajju bhai and why would not she have supported her husband's decision  when the  groom and his family were so well off, all seemed settled  ,

page 14...

.life moved on on its natural pace,  adjusting bhai and his wife  Rahat  bhabhi asked  for Sabina  s hand in marriage for their son shehroz, both families were on good friendly terms  and then shehroz was brainy  intelligent and  good in studies,  , his future seemed  apparently  very bright,  it was his final year  of engineering,  suitable from all angles and closely known with good habits was a personal favorite with almas

muhabbet zindabaad...

....the sun was quite hot  outside,  Sabina   crossing the side street to reach her house saw a black innova parked near by, she fumed  in rage and instead went to azma appa s house, appa was surprised to see her in her  house and enquired if she was straight   back from the school  looking also at the watch,  come on in  azma appa invited her inside  in the coolness of the  shade from the sizzling  heatwave outside,   swiftly   tge hostess fetched from inside  chilled  drinking water bottle and a glass  and through the window looked outside   and understood why Sabina  was  in her house and   sighing said  she was about to have lunch  served on the table  sge could join them for the meal , Sabina  declined the  offer and asked appa to have her food,  appa argued she would not  like to eat alone  watching Sabina sitting hungry

Sabina explained she  didn't eat her midday meal,  Sabina would like to have a cup of tea after appa had eaten 

from previous...

.....azma beghum s  voice sounded  terrible and worried  that  gugu  was not agreeing to go with her  nor could she be left behind alone,  kosha khala suggested the only solution to this  problem was to get gugu married,  but it wasn't possible to   find a proper  suitable match so quickly,  her voice now sounded  disappointed,  khala  explained  by looking for  what you want almighty also  is found  all they had to do was look   for a groom,  azma beghum asked if  khala had  someone in mind  thinking of atif then focusing on her old time neighbor  friend khala  who  said  not only there was a match in mind but the match was in her family,  if acceptable Farhad could become her son  in   law 

page 267....

......then the simple answer to the question asked was  that Shahid Ahmed  took a decision  during the days  after getting married to meher bano  and it was to transfer  ownership of tbe house to her, now those papers were mortgaged  to the bank  against the loan,  shehzada  he was aware was having  much fun  with his friends in Dubai and hongkong Malaysia  , spending his father's  hard-earned money  had said meher bano,  Shahid  Ahmed regretted and wished to know who exactly was shehzada s real father with money to throw 

from previous....

......when the heart is filled with darkness  whole world seems dark,  Shahid Ahmed s  world had completely gone dark,  meher bano got her conditions fulfilled,  signing the divorce papers  he felt like a  gambler who had lost his all,  he had lost his life put on stakes,  meher bano left, shehzada also went along,  from his house  from his life from his heart 

For many days he stayed  home depressed,  food was brought by azma   , both  shared each other's  stories of woe and felt lighter, raza had come from the shop visiting him , he was an old loyalist,   he was an old timer associated to Shahid Ahmed s father,  contemporary of oder generation  the loyalist felt awful seeing  Ahmed in such a terrible condition 

from previous....

.....sherdil hadn't seen rozina for three days,  he took bodies to school every day,  she was on leave for two days and today she didn't meet him,  his mind was disturbed and he was quite upset, , mobile was out of order and  he felt terrible,  the screen was cracked,  kamala uncle promised he would take the mobile to get it repaired next time he went to town,  he wished  he could have talked with rozina     , his mind was distracted and sulking he went up on the terrace 

page 239...

.....chaudhary  have Nawaz returned home  to find  sherdil snoring loudly in the middle of the courtyard,  he looked  quite  fresh sleeping,  chaudhary  called out his name  , sherdil reluctantly  opened his eyes,   wife of  hand Nawaz chaudhary argued he had woken up the sleeping son , father was annoyed  because  sherdil   spent time sleeping more and his  friends all had joined  responsible respectable  jobs, sherdil  explained his dreams were very lengthy so he needed   to complete them  and  took extra time  sleeping 

from previous....

....he was  constantly  walking  forward on the gravel path, he  kept regretting   if only he had not  discarded  mobile as a useless  thing  he could have  learnt so much,  yesterday he recalled how  swiftly  rozina  s fingers moved  on the screen  and she was also  showing him new  pages browsing  the web, as if he was a kid , he was from the village  whose  head was filled with  ego of a man  the reason it was rather difficult to swallow his pride  ,  engrossed in his  broken  self pride ge  kept on sweeping his fingers on the mobile  and suddenly stopped hearing  female voices approaching,  two  young girls  dressed fashionably  , dark glasses  on their noses, hair  merely  for the sake of keeping peace  with tradition  touching the veil  that did not at all cover  them,  holding small sized traveling bags in their hands  were right before him,  speaking to each other  their voices and laughing  filled the air

Sheru stopped for a while,   snapping his neck turned  to  blow up his chest  picked up his mobile and held it to his ear with his other hand brushing his  hair  and by the time  he reached the girls he had bought half of Pakistan 

page 237...

....bebe  thought  it was best   solution she was married off quickly,  she was  Farida daughter of  relatives  in law,   brought by sherazi s wife  from her parents  side,  now the matter was equalized,  in the  beginning  everyone  pampered the bride,  sgeru also  revolved around  her,  gossiping with her to entertain her, kamala from day one had  mortgaged  his mind   and common sense  to Farida,  he broke all the old    records of  servile  husbands  ,  with Farida his morning began,, with her his  day ended,  Farida kept kamala  dancing to her her tune like a puppet, 

from previous....

....sherbet asked Nachman to help him open his Facebook page,  she couldn't help him because she didn't have a mobile phone  but sge explained in great detail  what it was all about and how was it   done,  but if he went to tbe detail and too basat s advice  he would be learn  it by the evening  , sherdil was excited,  he could teach  rozina himself and impress her  by his knowledge,  naghma  s face turned  dark but he was gone,  she remembered something to tell him and came to stand by the  railing  but he was gone

from previous...

.....it was the time just before  maghri, amma sent her up on the  terrace to safely  usher all the hens and  chicks  inside their  shed,  she began  catching them one by one, not an easy job to do , there were twenty three of them,  it was her favorite  passtime,  amma would release all the hens after Fajardo and asar on the terrace  and spent her time with them  guarding them or someone else  would  watch them for her, , cats were  dangerous and natural enemy,  big hawks  flew away  easily with the small  chicks   clutched  ,  she carried her books  up there and came down  with t the Maghreb azan 

page 231....

....it was just his golden  luck  rozina liked him  with his outer appearance,  his height  , strength,  muscular  physique and good looks  exceptionally  different from others  besides he was  chaudhary  had Nawaz s grand son  related to  a Rahim  so looking at the alliance from all angles  rozina  calculated well and dropped her heart in  his  waiting  outstretched  arms

Chachi Farida s destiny changed,  she didn't have to get up early and  stayed in bed longer comfortably,  sherdil  became punctual  and readied the little boy and made  him carry the   school bag leading him to his home where  bebe  would  make hot parathas for bodi  who enjoyed his stay there relishing  his meal because   his ammi never cooked  anything for anyone 

page 230...

....he entered chacha kamala s house,  whole courtyard was vacant,  chachi was a late riser  and chacha   pampered her , no matter what happened to the world,  village could  drown in floods  or the only child in the family  broke his head nothing mattered  above chachi  s wishes  and happiness,  , last month  someone died  in the village,  chachi  imitating others  beat up her chest  and  screaming  cried without a tear in her eyes,  several women around  stopped crying just to see her perform,  from outside  came 8n running chacha  and sitting  by her feet  pulled out a corner of his shirt using it as a hand fan and said Farida don't cry  your heart out  or the dead might  stand up alive  because   the dead had taken loan to buy ear dangers and  not returned the money,  she pushed him aside,  her  performance was in the pause mode,  she asked him to get her a bottle of soda, 

from previous.....

.....winter was at its peak, with fajar azan sherdil left his bed and went up on the terrace , entire  surroundings were covered in thick layers of  fog, , ge softly  walked up to his  corner  where his black jersey was hanging  that he checked if it was dry,  cursing  the fog , he realized  how impossible it is to keep things dry in such a weather,  , over clever  the little boy was but Sherwin will definitely see to it he goes to school,  he pulled his damp jersey and wrapped himself tight in the warm  shawl and  shivering  came down 

Under theshed bebe had lighted  the  fire for cooking,  nearby  near the stairs  another  log fire to keep the  area warm was burning,  walking quickly he came to sit down on the steps,  taking out the damp jersey from his side he began to  dry it on the log fire , bebe  was making  dough balls for  parathas  and  also looking at him, he was irritated  and impatient,  he was flipping and waving the jersey,  the waving motion  sent chilling   biting  winds  hitting bebe like harsh hunter  bebe hit him with a tong , he jumped off from his place,  the jersey  almost fell from his hands into the fire 

page 217...

.....I got so much  fame 

That  the stars in my destiny dance

Life till the end  touches  limits of passion 

Taking the image of  opponants marching forward 

Attacking  humanity  till all fall dead

Blood thirsty  envying   the victory of opponents 

Seeds of  attachment  stay alive

In my words  veins

Spreading  season of your memory 

Somewhere   developing   a desirable heart

You are missed 

We miss you 

page 201...

....always keep positive thinking about life

Listen more and learn  like a beginner because  nobody  knows it all but everyone knows something you could learn 

Keep showing your  humble gratitude  , its the best prayer for almighty  who never  gives more pain than you can tolerate 

.. he who you miss in happy times  is the one you love 

He who is missed in bad times is the one  who loves you 

....if ever all was predestined  what type of bonding  would be between your master  and almighty  will never be explained 

from previous...

....Zamira squeaked what was the matter with him,  zaya explained  when someone starts hating himself  he begins to  fear mirror,  avoiding  to look at his own reflection,  his attitude was rather careless,  she handed him the tea and looked  into his eyes   would he mind answering her questions,  he had never refused her , he made himself comfortable 

Did he meet Laila,  zaya  s strong  hand  shook and before his tea spilled and dirtier his freshly  changed clothes his other hand came  to support  his shaky hand preventing the tea to spoil his   freshly changed  clothes,  but the hot tea had spilled and burnt his palm,  whether it was the  burning of  his  heart or the burning of his hand  he was left  with  the feeling of burning  personality 

page 198.....

.....when his  vehicle  reached the farmhouse  evening  shadows  deepened  . He quickly drove in straight to the reserved area,  right there before him on the  steps sat zamora reading  a book,  she looked rather  cool and  refreshing  in her pink  and white  dress,  she too got up quickly seeing zaya s vehicle, she was glad to see him and welcomed him with a smile,  his smile was sad,  he asked how was she doing walking past her,  he was going in,, that strong character  was intimidating,  she followed him ,  he wanted to freshen up , she asked if he would like to have tea first,  he instructed her to have his tea sent instead of herself bringing it for him, he turned to leave and she too turned to go to the kitchen,  when she brought tea  by then he had changed and was brushing his hair standing before the long mirror,  too many  stickers were  passed all over on to the mirror  and  on the shelf  were scattered  his clutter  so the entire reflection  was not wholly visible but  in parts  

from previous...

......she became annoyed when abba   scolded  her to answer his questions properly  instead of politely  nodding her stupid head,

She explained she wanted to make progress in life, she wanted to study further,  her confidence restored in her voice  made abba look at her  more attentively,   her academic records showed she had always  stood first in her class, khala supported her cause patting her shoulders,  aimed felt  better but theirs was a small township  and it took so long like ages to get school upgraded to inter and  college was a distant  impossible  goal to achieve 

from previous....

.....haryana softly called out  Laila who looked at him in surprise,  he said  the first rooms the lounge  and when they stepped into the lounge  his room  is  at an angle in the corner,  so what she must do was to quickly go to his room,  her eyes began burning at his instructions,  in some  matters  man was  also weak and vulnerable  specially  where his reputation is at stake,  she tried to control herself,  haryal  had helped her so much  now she couldn't  back off, he added  she should not  take  it badly   he would introduce her when its right time  , sge would definitely like his mother  and mother also will like her hopefully,  she nodded and lowered her head , how condescending he was in accepting her, , he stretched hus arm , she hesitated  , she wasn't worthy of him, then gave her hand to  him to hold  her  strongly  ushering her,  they entered the lounge  and sge moved towards his room as he had instructed,  he turned to see grandma  in her room and greeting her lay down in the other bed beside her

from previous...

......as if all got settled in minutes,   lal haveli  was decorated like a bride for the first time  for the daughter of the family,  people were overwhelmed,   on the threshold of parents house  a living dead once again  became  hopelessly hopeful  mourning over the buried alive  sentiments  , zaryab ali was one  decent soul  of a generous   man around,  who was praised and  followed by others,   he had once again    proved  himself  a trend setter 

Lal haveli was presented like a bride  and that particular  night  was an event  for all and sundry  , gates were vast open  welcoming  tbe commoner  , the lowly  and  the poor  from the village  as a welcomed  respected guest  after Aftab wali this was happening after ages that lal haveli  was  delightfully  lighted with music  playing  in the air,  zaryab himself had seen to each and every detail 

page 190...

....Today against daily routine the  house door was open,  though it was ten past at night  humza followed  Zarin with his bike in,  for some unseen unknown reason  his heart skipped a beat fearing  something was wrong,  he left his bike near the gate, , there wasn't anyone around in the yard,  voices were rising though from the drawing room   zarina  leaving him behind  moved towards amma s room,  he too  decided to follow  mother,   then he had to stop at the door, , zarina also stood motionless  a couple of steps forward,  , an image if a bride dressed in red   could not have been  an annoyed Laila a picture of innocence  in shining  ornamental  presence,  this was a sad looking  fairy descended from  skies who was captured  by some ruthless  giant  and  placed in a cage, and  he  himself was helpless  witness  who could not  free her

page 188...

.....she could not have even thought of it  that dreams can also get fulfilled so,  butterflies are not  merely  to be caught  , their  hues are also  decorative and   distinctive 

Blossoms may  appear in autumn,  air can   fill up with  intoxicating    scents

Zaryab lala kept his  blessed hand on her head and given her instructions on rectifying life,  like her sabin too was quite happy,  noisily  running around  the haveli  , zaryab would   pray for both the sisters and returned to his special room where he liked to be alone  in extreme  moments of joy or sorrow,  he was specially  attracted to this room, , it was a gift  to him  from baji who  knew how much passionate  zaryab could be  that's why   a study room was built in tbe last corner of the haveli  , books were gotten from  different places in the world later zaryab  had added more to the shelves according to his reading  favorites 

page 187.....

....with   come September  the daylight  began to shrink, days were somewhat warm but by the end of the day evenings turned pleasantly cool as winds blew  and tired people  became alive with refreshing  coolness,  sehrab ali  khan   had returned  to  the village  meeting the poverty stricken  villagers  listening to their problems  though  elections were not announced  but sehrab ali was a far sighted   man who chose to stay ahead and above  others 

That's why  he had  started his game  of mixing with the ordinary  so many months  before  actual  power  game  was   started  and soon enough he speculated  his rival was a heavyweight and  going strong with the crowds,   segrab ali had stayed in power for past five years  but  he had used his  power  to please just his friends and  supporters  and his rival  janbaz who was not in power  worked overtime  helping  the villagers  and tbe needy and became quite popular 

from previous....

.....she was left alone standing under the  jamun tree  growing 8n the corner of tbe courtyard,  she didn't want to sit down to namaz, she would  look at the spreadsheet  placed in tbe veranda  and the look away,  when human being  realizes his flaws the first thing he does is  to steal  glances specially  from the one closest to his heart,  the same was happening with her,  today her esteemed character was repelled,  she remained unaware of the tears rolling down her face,  she didn't try to wipe her face  , sge kept on crying,  humza returned  to see mother standing alone in tge corner of the courtyard crying  by herself  , he got worried and moved towards her, sge asked him to take her to amma,  it was quite late for tge visit but he agreed,  she  felt better ,  thinking  things  were now  in her absolute control,  but who can catch up with time  or has anyone ever  successfully  taken control of time , time is illusive 

page 186...

....it was  nearly  time to settle  down for the night, hunza still hadn't returned home,  , since  the Laila episode  he was disturbed,  he was engaged to sgeeza and his whole personality was changed,  as if preparing himself to stay away from home  , planning a different routine  schedule to keep himself occupied 

Was it possible a mistake was made,  sitting down in the court yard they thought,  some distance away looking  sarcastically at them was their subconscious 

Zarin beghum  you have  destroyed all   everything,  that too of your own  progeny  , your own flesh and blood,  the voice was so sharp  bitter and cutting  and why should not it be  after all   it was her own creation 

Bitterness was her own nature, she smiled with tears in her eyes, 

What can I offer you

Your body and  mind are merely dust

from previous....

....naghin smiled and  said  perhaps it was a meaningless  weather  to others but for  her  it was very special  but because it was pointless to argue  explaining  herself  she shut the window on the rain  outside,    the noise  also was shut out,  

The younger said  making tea for them  that  she very well understood tge weather  under discussion  winking  her right eye naughtily at naghin ,

Naghin   glared at her younger  and demanded an explanation of her statement  what exactly did she mean,  her eyes suddenly  changed  tge expression  from  rosy dreams to  fear 

Well the   development  of  new romantic angle  between naghin and isa was known to her  , her manner was teasing  mock royal and theatrical 

Naghin s eyes  became wide with surprise,  quickly she got up to sit closer to younger who  shared with her more juicy information  their bhabhi had promised  she would intervene  into this matter 

page 185....

.....rain had turned to   incessant pouring  and  from the open window the light spray  changed to strong   waves of sheets of water but she still stood not moving  from her position  getting  soaked  with her outstretched hand feeling the  falling rain 

Naghi, for heavens sake  shut the window and look out the floor is all wet with the  rain  said her younger sister when she cambe  in the room 

But look how  beautiful the   day is she replied without turning 

The village  weather every other day became like this pleasant and exciting  nestled amidst  the shade of koh Suleman  

 A hot   plate of homemade pakodas were placed before the two sisters  , the naid was accustomed to such unusual unpredictable rain and change in weather  not a romantic  was surprised at  the girls  reaction 

from previous....

....Laila,  called out sabin knocking at tge car window,  she was startled  and lifted her eyes, sabin was waiting for her, haryana also  watched her and  her saddened  emotional  damp writes didn't go unnoticed  from his observant  gaze, 

With some  there is a  blood relation  , with some  there is a bonding of heartland  soul  and  their tears  affect you as much as their  smile,  this was a matter of soul, seeing Laila so helpless  made him equally helpless,  he gad often seen her wrapped up in a shawl when ever he visited shevaz  but merely  fleeting glimpse of  her,  inadequate   .. golden image  all covered up

page 184....

.....aunty please sit in the front passenger seat, haryana smiled  and opened the  door to sabin  who looked quite grateful  as she made herself comfortable,  now haryana took  to driving  and drove off , some time later they  reached  peshawar  s most famous  designer s boutique  showroom  glass window wall, he got down  inviting them to follow him, he became busy on his mobile,  sabin  also stood around  looking about,  Laila   gazed at the glass window decorated  and  displaying  bridal  items, how she had kept herself  pure for this occasion  , always remembering to maintain her virtue of body speech and mind, 

But the way she had  protected herself  and her character  equally  in the same proportion she had torn her mother s character  she had found quite easy to do, consequences were of her own making now  presented before her posing  obstacles in her marriage,  her etes burnt   , ber marriage was a hidden secret event