hum na hongey to....

....when I am gone  the whole world shall miss me... this was the last  statement  of  khalid sahib  who laughed and  repeated the   expression,  he would  not only enjoyed a  healthy hearty laugh  but also  made  others   join  in his mirthful  joys,  spontaneity   was personified  in him, ,  today  his memorable  presence  fills one with  sorrow,  he left this mortal world  in July 2018, ,  the  main attribute of the faithful is he  always  remembers  life must end,  his  last wish was to  be  buried next to his parents  and   so there he  rests  

page 101....

.....what did the doctor say

Nothing to worry about,  she was dehydrated,   she collapsed,  , Rebecca and Bella  picked her up and put her in the taxi, 

Then. He sounded  stressed 

She was taken directly to the emergency where drip was given her 

Rebecca turned to Bella to ask where was the medicine shoppers was in Bella  s bag , she opened her bag to take out the medicines 

He worriedly  asked amma if she had eaten something or was hungry 

Amma  explained  the bride had taken care of her and she was full and couldn't eat any more  

But he insisted she must take her medicine 

He  was asked to tally the dose and  amma was to be kept on light  easy to digest foods like  khichdi, fruit and juice and  nothing  else 

page 100....

.... humza returned  from his office to find  a lock  on the  gate,  , he was  not only much surprised  but also  surrounded  iby sheer   unexpectedness of the  situation,   because  if fakhra had to go somewhere  she  always  informed him before leaving  the house,  , he took out his cell phone from his pocket to check  for her call,  , there was no missed call  from  either  of them  nor from  fakhra nor  Rebecca,  ,  pondering  over  where could they have gone he phone  Rebecca,  , on the  second ring she  answered  with instant  query  where was humza , , he  stood  right then  right  before  the locked gate  of their house,  , they were to reach  within a couple of minutes she said,  , he asked  but where exactly were they both  but the phone was disconnected from  the other side,  , he turned to look  towards the end of the street  the direction from where they were to approach  the house 

page 99...

....Bella returned from the college to find  fakhra sleeping  , she got a light jolt of surprise,  it had never happened before that fakhra slept  before her  reaching home from the college,   Bella put aside her wrap and bag and neared  the sleeping woman and called  her amma  but deliriously  dakhra began  mumbling,   ,  worried she held fakhra by her arm and asked her what was the matter,  ,  realizing  amma was in the grip of  high fever   she looked around  and quickly picked up amma  s mobile  , she thought of calling  hamza but unfortunately  the battery was low ,  throwing it  back on the bed cursing she  began calling amma,  pleading  her to get up,  in the  morning she was fine,  but   amma s   delirious  chatter   was  not understood    not a word of it,   she looked  for the charger, , her troubled mind could not sort things out and she  couldn't see the charger, , suddenly  remembering  Rebecca she  ran to her room,  Rebecca was half  reclining   in her bed   busy with her cell phone,   she  was breathless  as she began  to instruct her  to call help quickly  for amma seemed unconscious 

page 97.....

..... to see the  newborn   nephew  of sgehrina  tabya  accompanied her home after school,  , at home   tabya was introduced to mother   , that  tabya was  another  school  teacher, , tabya exchanged her salams    , hamida beghum asked  her   where did she live,  , her house was located round the corner  at the end  of the street,  hamida  beghum  nodded  casually,  , she invited  the guest inside  to see khazina,  shehrina  brought her to her room  where  the new mom was feeding the infant,  shehrina  announced   her best friend had come to see honey   with  that she turned the room lights on and khazina  began   watching closely  the girl   tabya

page 95....

...., khazina  noticed fakhra leave and  requested  her to stay, what was such a hurry, cgachi  Jan promised she would come again,   , won't  be khazina  there  to this query Hamida beghum answered   of course  sge will be staying  long time,  cgachi jan declared that was fine  so next time  Bella will  accompany her,  Bella was much interested  in tge child, now how was chahi  to go home,  it wasn't a problem,  she would walk up to the main street from where  it was easy to catch a  rickshaw,  , she repeated her farewell  once again and asked for formal  permission to leave,  fakers stood up,  hamida beghum  affectionately  thanked her for her visit,   fakhra cut her short there was no need to thank  her , children  of the family  were  mutually  common,  , it was the responsibility of the elders to take care  of  their  children,  or who else will,  , showering her heartfelt blessings  on khazina to  stay happy healthy  fertile and prosperous  she caressed her head  and suddenly remembered something and turned to speak to shehrina  to usher chachi jan up to the rickshaw point 

page 87...

.....he was going back,  , he had to collect some  important documents from the  university,  , a couple of times he had been there  to get them,  , so now it was time to return,  , being the youngest  he was adored by all and pampered,  ! His absence  made them all miss him, , even now  ammi and shamaim  followed him to the gate to see him off,, he was also  sad but  gave a big smile  

Girls are  sent away said shamaim but in their family  makes were leaving  , all of them  willingly  on their personal  decisions,  it was actually momi appi who ought to have  gone away,  why was she still living  in their house after her marriage,  shamaim glared 

Ask that ammi why was she not asking  Romain to take her  away,  what was stopping  ammi from sending her away 

That was something  ammi couldn't do because  when he was small he lived with them and they had  given him full  attention and  respect 

If ammi can't  speak up then appi must  take a  firm step and speak up for herself  ,  she must go away  and  capture her domain and rule  and enjoy, it was a naughty  but deep  and meaningful statement  uttered  honestly 

page 85...

....he was watching a movie on his tablet  in his bed  and looked up  disturbed when he was asked if he was watching a movie,  she asked if ammi  was driven back from the hospital,  he  jumped out of the bed clearly  in sheer surprise,  what happened to ammi,  when was she taken to the hospital,  shamaim slapped her forehead , ammi was fine by the grace of God,  shamin bhabhi s grandma was hospitalized ,  ammi went visiting her, he argued  what was sge  going to see if the admitted  patient was still alive  , if so why was so, shamaim glared at him reminding him ammi  was a diabetic and it was past three afternoon  and her sugar level could fall,  she must have by now  not eaten anything 

Swearing he quickly put on his shoes,  picked up his  bike key and swiftly left,  this was love for his mother that  he had returned from the university and  got up to get mother,  or it was impossible to get him to agree to do anything 

from previous....

.....salallahoalleywassalum  thus spoketh,,,

Help your brethren whether they are  oppressors  or the oppressed 

The rasool was asked to explain  how was it possible  to  help the oppressors 

The prophet said simply  hold his hands  not letting h8m commit the sins 

page 83...

.....it is said  the peacock when is  jubilant  spreads out its  spectacular  fan like   feathers before  dancing to display  the beauty  but   the  moment  it glances over the dancing  feet that are no match  in beauty  of its f colorful  feathers  it becomes  horrified  and tears are shed  she was not a  resplendent  peacock  with  ugly feet,   she was a complete  ethereal attractive beauty from the top of her  wonderful head to the tip of her delightful toe

from previous...

....th wedding preparations kick started , aunts and cousins arrived to help ammi, , all things were being brought for the boys and girls  equally  without any gender discrimination,   salwat sahib suggest sending the children for shopping   because they were to dress up 8n those garments,, ammi  explained she was taking the girls  and doing exactly as he  wanted,   otgers will go when they are free, , marriage ceremonies  were completed without any obstacles,  , Romana in the function  was   asking  the guests  what they would like to have,  she was still by the table when she   overheard a voice saying   son in law and daughter  in  law  salwat mia has  discovered  for their  good looks,  his own progeny  is suppressed  , second  cheerily added  the son in law and daughter  in law would make a more handsome  couple 

from previous...

....a moment  s intimacy is blessed so

That will be  scattered  shattered in the next moment 

Gathering  their unfulfilled dreams the separated 

Not knowing   where life shall take each one 

Memories will  be left,  Memories so painful 

Whose  venom will flow in  the entire body 

page 79...

....my dear country men

Don't get disappointed 

Still festivals are there 

Still it rains 

On mountains still  exist waterfalls 

Gushing their naturally 

Still the forests are scented

Fields still are green

Farmers remain untired hardworking 

Values are intact 

Don't get disappointed 

Still the lands are golden 

The sky is blue 

Let kalma be a musical  roar

On eid every one  still 

Steps forward to embrace others 

Valleys are refreshingly cool

Where sing melodic birds

Teachings  are passed on

Each one looks forward to

page 69..

.....soulmate  mine what do I know 

Where  in the world you reside 

In which  disguise 

Looking for you everywhere 

believing him my protector 

That merely was a thought 

Spirit of some  spirited

Come closer some more 

To see you  heartily 

Soulmate mine 

You alone are the light in my eyes 

Where were you lost just tell me 

Whose  glances   were  at fault 

You close to me my hope  you are 

Me ordinary   , you so special 

You uncaring  never took notice 

Admit it  don't deny it 

Soulmate mine 

Love is as fresh as the first touch 

page 49...

...next time   they  made  their  trip after one and half months,  earlier  anal used to  ring up   but now  that she was absolutely  free  she didn't call  up because      she had no wish to,   they  too didn't bother to phone her,  Adnan disappeared like  magic,   though he had stayed  with  them    all the time   within the hospital  boundaries,   amal was a broken  woman after this operation  , her dream of becoming a doctor was destroyed and  physically  defeated  ,  she was completely  shattered,  she was extremely sensitive to everything,  , she made it easy for others by becoming silent,   because asking about Adnan and making phuphu she  could  only  raise  difficulties for them 

page 48...

.... leaving the hospital  for his home the doctor thanked her for her cooperation  in that difficult situation,  , she explained  it was also  her duty as much as his,  thanks was not necessary,   this was the first small talk made by her without  that sarcastic note, 

She was dead tired and fell asleep  in a deep  sleep  not stirring  at all, sge woke up rested in the morning to a stay home leave, yet sge got up to  follow her daily schedule,  she had missed the early nanaz and began making coffee for herself,   with her coffee she returned to her room to drag a chair to sit by the window,  , she gad also kept a chocolate  with her coffee on the table,  she had accepted the chocolate given her, , the day started with coffee and chocolate,  it was no use wasting the chocolate  keeping it without eating it

page 47...

.....

Condition is serious   said sister grace , fearing  operation must take place  immediately , in a  moment  she jumped  up standing on her feet, swiftly  not wasting  another minute she ran after sister grace,  just before she reached  there  thedoctor had taken the patient  to the  operation theater,  prior to this with the doctor all her appointments were  scheduled so  no matter of  friction had risen, the unfamiliarity between them had posed no problems  in their working as a team,  it was for them both  their first emergency  case together they handled,  , she opened the door of the operation  room and stepped in, 

page 47...

....when she had chosen  gynecology as her subject she had no idea what all nuances  it contains  along with  complications,  she had taken it for granted  easy and simple,    people talk and  it was sad  she had burned her  degree  down into the kitchen stove flame,  now she had gained so much experience  working in her field practically,  her days and weeks were  hectic  keeping her very busy,  , from tomorrow her night shifts were starting,  she liked her night duties  , not much rushing  and the staff  relaxed l and enjoyed her presence  because  unlike others she had  no boy friends  with whom to  go out dating or watch movies  late night night  or spend  time together 

page 46...

....by the way  your sweetness is undoubted  but perhaps you drink lots of coffee   because  the  bitterness is showing in your tone,  some   sweets for you 

Ger eyes were now wide open as she  read and reread the card, , the elegantly written  lines were  in beautifully scripted urdu, she opened the door to bring in her cycle  and  to put the  flowers  she went to her room,  she once again read the card and   for some unknown reason a rosey  smile  appeared on her face  that she  suppressed  tightly   annoyed at her own reaction  she  picked up a chocolate and slipped it into her bag and looking at the watch  ran our 

Masrat had seen her holding the flowers and also observed her expression   but  she couldn't muster to enquire who sent them  , it didn't seem right to question her instead she said have a nice day  but  she was not listening  and didn't  respond like everyday  , her mind was still  engrossed  in the nan with  the cycle  carrying flowers  basket  who dropped them at her door 

from previous....

....she stood by the  window  holding her hot steaming cup of coffee   with both hands  watching the sun rise,  there was a patch of grass near the flower beds , canopy of  beauteous   creepers but the  family had no time to enjoy the wonderful  scenery,  a  man in a cap  was visible  walking with his bicycle  on his side  towards their direction , the basket   was full of flowers  that was hanging  before the white bicycle,  tulips,  roses and tiny white blossoms  she didn't know the name of 

page 45...

..she was now located in a small pocket of the beautifully peaceful  town , the cottage was owned by her father's  friend's  relatives  where she came to live  on her father's  request,  not that  her father could not afford to have a  residence there, , in fact  he had a most  magnificent  flat  but thinking of her loneliness  he didn't allow her to stay  in the flat, , he didn't like the idea  of his  daughter living alone because he wished her well to come  out of her bad experience of her past  life  chapter that was closed 

page 41....

....it was one cool summer evening,  unlike her habit  she  lay in her room with a pillow on her face,  she was not well,   therefore she stayed in bed, she heard  cheerful voice downstairs so curious sge came out to find out   it was mahin phuphu  visiting them,  , next month  aham was getting married,  phuphu was shopping  for the wedding there in Dubai,  ,she  gave a glance over her clothes, she was clad in grey trousers and white shirt full of creases, quickly she entered her room and changed swiftly into  a clean  pair of white trousers and rose colored shirt, wore a bit of makeup on her swollen face,  brushed ger hair fluffy and  came downstairs,  sleepless nights gave her that tired swollen look 

from previous...

....during this phase of the night  the empty corridor in the hospital   echoed  like  a hammer hitting  the sound of high heels  approaching,  , sitting and waiting for sister  marya in his room the doctor  s full attention was focused on it, , finally his wait was over,  , the door handle turned and was opened by sister marya  as she stepped in, 

She is in her room declared sister Marya 

He got up thanking her

Sister marya asked shuffling the files on the table before her what was he going to do now 

Nothing,  just wish her a very happy birthday and  he held tge cake box in his hands, afterwards he would spend time finishing his pending business 

Sister marya expressed  her wishful thinking  she wanted to see them both  as a happily married couple soon

page 39

....He watches over you  during the night 

Definitely He  alone is aware of everything 

Satanic  powers  descend  on them 

Who follow  useless vague  rumors everywhere 

All those present in the transit

Are rooted without destination 

Some of them brought  inner truthfulness 

Speaking of volunteers

The ruthless  must know of it

Almighty is tge only merciful 

All powerful  and always 

gazal...

..night lamps are being  put off

Now the heart is being burnt 

Someone  s  stature is built up

To show me in bad light 

The one who ought to be  under your feet

Sits above otgers crowns

Situation is so  unable to cry

Nor can I possibly smile 

Clay thrown on the wheel 

Rotation  is put 8n wrong direction 

Medicines   if proven  ineffective 

Prayers are offered  for soothing 

When do angels know it

That they are being turned to devils 

gazal

....do no more kindness  nor  good deeds 

Scheme not to drag me down with you drowning 

Waves tell storm is approaching 

 Ask not to  float paper boats now 

Stonehearted  and bitter in temper they are

Dear friend  support no such  friend 

Lest unhealed wounds  bleed again 

Let not love be showered on my heart 

Raise the level of your character  but

Display not your feelings to strangers 

Expert are we too who know how to value 

Exhibit  not fake diamonds  before me

Almighty is always with the tolerant 

Test not  patience of  any  one in life 

page 32....

.....it was already  more than a week after the  function was over,  Sabina was getting  startled on each and every  little light  sound  and would turn to look at the door,  shehroz had to leave  that week , he  definitely always met before going away,  but he left for abroad without  meeting  

Why

How could he forget

Thousands of  questions were rising in mind 

Almas also was thinking almost the same thing 

Bhai and his wife didn't  tell her of shehroz s plans of going abroad so it was quite useless asking them  for details,  attitudes had changed,  something wasn't quite right the manner 8n which  shahu had left so quietly 

from previous.....

....she had  got a headache,  almas beghum wanted to escape quickly from there and said,  shehroz sat down  within two minutes  farhat came  to take him with her to introduce him to her guests,  Seth naiman s daughter was with her in the college,  they  had become friends,  , somehow  the meal  got over,  , nazma looked quite bored, , she gestured to  another appa who was already  waiting for  her signal met adjust bhai before leaving  ,, poor him  being so affectionate  began calling his wife  but Rahat bhabhi never  heard him habitually,  bano appa lost her temper and  asked adjust bhai not to bother her wife who was busy and it was getting late so they were leaving 

page 30...

.....do whatever you want to, catch the time 8n your fists and then let it go like sand slipping  through your fingers,   but the  fear is  people get lost in the  crowded  world  like in a far,   Sabina  softly completed her statement 

Do you really take me for a fool 

Nobody is a fool  , just that times change  and that is scary 

What is bothering you 

Why so frightened are you 

 She was not  so fearing  before but now  suddenly there was a slight change in her  attitude 

But what exactly is troubling you 

She didn't answer,  she couldn't because her eyes flooded with emotions and she lowered her eyes  staring down at nothing in particular 

Almas entered tge room airplane cheerfully   asking  Sabina to get her some tea

page 29....

almas beghum  had to get  up to do something of importance  so samira also quickly  got up and said leaving   they both could  speak their heart out , shehroz  had still his smile on his face  as he asked if they should speak with each other,   samira  commented  it didn't look they were both engaged to get married and hadn't even spoken to each other in this modern world 

Samira explained  she was herself  trendy and taken down  Sabina  s number  and would definitely stay in touch with her  , her statement brought a giggle to escape from Sabina  s lips  and samira turned to scowl at her

from previous....

....now sheroz understood why ammi was glaring at him  so fiercely,  he was aware her mood was  terribly off and not wanting to be her target he quickly  left the function,  

It was bothering her that samir was chosen  and why should the marriage be taking place  somewhere else  repeated  izharul din the line  which had been repeated hundreds of times before, 

It was irritating  he always  agreed  obediently to whatever his sister  wished 

page 27...

....ammi what has happened 

What's the matter 

Ask what  is done by your favorite phuphu,  don't ask what the matter is, when shahu could not catch the point he turned to look at his father  whose miserable  expression   made him  feel even more  bad, 

What exactly did she do 

Neither you nor your father will ever  see any fault with almas beghum 

Rahat beghum s rage was at it's maximum height 

Why don't you just  explain it instead of taunting  irritated  shahu suggested 

page 26...

.....he insisted amma should come with him because he was getting late for the college,  amma sarcastically said he was a busy man  and go away  and there wasn't any need for him to come for her,  bano phuphu was still 8n rage,   he pleaded  she remained calm,  arsalan  was softening  but his eyes  were stuck on the watch,  bano appa  gave up her stubbornness and approached almas at the door  not to  take lots of time deciding  because the boy was very nice  , almas politely agreed , appa bano  sat down in the car and asked where was he to drive her next,  he was to first reach the college and later to another  place,  he took the  drive  seat , mother moaned he was taking care of everyone and everything but  home was made terribly  haunted house for her to stay alone   he explained  though she was alone  she had three maids surrounding her 

page 25...

....so  son you now remember your mother 

He began explaining he would have  visited her last night but he returned home quite late, she would have felt bad but did he know she  was there,  of course  he knew she was with mami jan at her place,  she asked him to go she would come later because bano appa s mind was trapped in discomfort  in anticipation  what almas  s response will be,  what a match it could be  if only  some ritual was done  she will become assured  she believed 

He insisted she must come along with him home, he was to leave for the college afterwards