from previous

...zavyar asked  zarmaqnoon   to stop looking around  and give him the address of sabah, zarmaqnoon  had never been  there before because  sabah had just recently  shifted  to this new locality,  they had no clue  what side that number was located,, he looked at his watch,  she was disappointed,  he asked without  him how  was she  to find the house,  his tone  was hard as he turned to  look  at her,  , she gad thought of ringing sabahat up on reaching the busstop 

page 130...

.....she  explained  it was her parents  department and she couldn't  say much  for now  , she spoke  slowly,, he asked  if they had no  opposition  would she say yes , zarmaqnoon looked at him helplessly,  she couldn't  gaze  into his  eyes  long  enough,  , her silence was affecting  , it was heart touching,  gazes were silently  screaming 

I am  in the  fathomless ocean 

Give me the shores

If you want  to come along 

G8ve a sign of course 

fun e zaiqa...

.....sane homely known  kitchen flavors  cooked  in a different   style  

Dal Murphy kadahi

Suji halfway

Hari mirch kheena

Atta besan paratha

Desi style kebab

Alu malai Kofta

Dehli biryani

Bengali fish special 

from previous...

...every  other person who walks along  is not meant to give  his support  when  you  stumble to break your fall by holding your hand  but sometimes  others accompany  you to see  when  where and how you will fall and how deep your  injuries are  and whether the bruises  give you enough pain on your hands or knees and if tge dust  covers your entire  personality or just the face 

zindgi...

....life is a necessity  , don't  push it  to equal desires, necessities of the poorest of the poor  are also  fulfilled  and desires of great emperors also  remain unfulfilled 

Mera sara zang utar do...

....it is said   people love their own child and  wives of others , Sofia  in response  merely  looked sharply  at  her life companion,   asking him by the way  whose wife  was   the focus  of his eyes she demanded an explanation  from him,  her annoyed tone resonated  making  Zahir ali laugh out heartily,  

Poetically  responding 

If I emerge from this  problem I could think  some other thing 

 If I emerge from your love  I could  think some  other thing 

He dramatically  bowing  to her  recited  expressively, Sofia blushed  after all both were inseparable  like  body and soul,  to be together  was to be alive  and for that meaningful life  what all they had gone through  , all those who surrounded them supported them completely 

from previous....

....her last and only support was zen bhai who treated manu  like precious,  he helped her out in her all tasks from  her homework  to  to corrections  to playing  to pampering  her affectionately  showering  their  love  on her,  tolerating her  mistakes,  , fulfilling her  long list of  wishes, but zen was absolutely  helpless, 

He and his mother  loved  manu for one more reason,  talkative followed zen, then were born twin boys Hasan and hasam   , both mother and zen who desperately wanted a girl child in the family to raise her like a doll princess  their   dreams were destroyed,  both of them together    took charge of nanu, fulfilling all her right and wrong  demands,  believing  it was their  duty,  manu also was aware of their  love for her, every time she failed  to get proper response from her father  she would run to zen and his ammi

page 88....

....from the school bag  a lovely golden blonde  doll with blue eyes  looked out, 8t was break time,  fariha  proudly  took  her doll out from her bag, , all her classmates  surrounded her enviously  exclaiming  what a cute looking doll sge had,  , their eyes shone with  desire,   all those shining eyes  also  looked at fariha  enviously,  the doll belonged to her afterall,   proudly she explained her uncle had got it from London,  along with a doll house and all that package  that goes with  the doll, her beautiful dresses,   she  couldn't  explain  nor could she describe her toys so she promised them to bring each item turn by turn  to show them,  her voice  was a mix of joy, pride and some  practical  logic,  she finally declared nobody around had a doll like hers, 

Someone challenged hers was not the ultimate barbie because  manu herself possessed  a better than her doll and a dollhouse  even more luxurious,  now manu s head was held the highest  with pride  at her priceless  possession 

page 82...

....she  declared she had something to talk  about with Sabina,   it won't take much time ,  zoya was quite reserved and respectful,  she put her hand on Sabina s  shoulder so Sabina  could not say anything,   zoya walked towards the chairs arranged  on one side  in the yard,  ,Sabina was obligated to sit by her side,  hearing  the sound  of movement  almas looked out of her kitchen window,  she saw zoya , about to join her there almas turned to go out but then saw Sabina and zoya were  planning to sit themselves in the chairs,  almas stopped short  pondering over something,  she was ready for this  since yesterday,  that some important discussion was to be  expected between them,  

Zoya opened her conversation with  telling Sabina  she must listen carefully to her  and if something  offended her she must  immediately  stop her,  

Sabina was all ears and Zoya  explained  Sabina  had a right not to forgive   him but sahib had a right to his father's  proximity and needed him

from previous....

.....bano appa  s face turned  crimson, all she could say was oh you, ,arsalan  asked what was it, couldn't he come,   he was speaking apparently  to his mother but his gaze was fixed  on mami, , almas pretended  she didn't hear a word  ,  she was certain  appa bano was absolutely  unaware of what all had happened yesterday,  he was sorry  for his past behavior  and  come to take her home,  , he was quite straightforward  and expressed himself frankly  without  any  roundabout 

page 76...

....when  they reached  the hospital   both sherwat and Rahat  were in there,

Sheraton bano embraced   appa and  broke into tears , sge too became emotional,  , sge consoled  her but  the other  felt guilty and kept asking for her forgiveness  , when she turned to look at almas she  became  confused and began looking  elsewhere 

page 75...ek thi manu

.....bano appa  was rather scared when and what  her  son was about  to do, arsalan in a small  tray carried two tea cups and  entered  the  room,   in his other hand was held a jar, he placed all  of  them onto the side table,  , arsalan  handed   her her tea and picked up his own and said  if she  was aware  aju mamu was quite  seriously ill and  his  son in law also  met with an accident 

Bano appa  in shirt nodded her head  and began sipping  her tea,  he asked her a leading   question if she wanted to see h8m, , she was  thinking of that,  arsalan  encouragingly  asked her when  would she  like  to go made her  think twice  on how  her son  so suddenly had become  so socially helpful  but she remained silent  not answering him  and put back her empty cup,  , appa bano now   feared moving  around on her own,  but  she  didn't  want to discuss  the matter with arsalan,  what a a storm  in a cup in the hospital had occurred   changing the overall game  she was absolutely  unaware   of , she rang up almas when she was  to go to  the  hospital  bano appa would  accompany her

page 74....

.....soon enough  shehroz  returned with arsalan, shehroz  held almas s hands  , her hands were cold like ice,  arsalan was shocked to see almas there  and quietly   sat down in a corner,, sharwat folding her both hands  spoke to him,  he quickly stood up because  it wasn't clear  in  the first place and  he himself was also   confused ever since  he had arrived,  

She apologized for having  told  him  all lies about  Sabina  , they had deliberately  harmed them both,  arsalan had never expected  he was invited   for thus , she swore,  ready to confess  in detail  how  they had  schemed  to break up their  relationship,  , the proof of ger wicked deeds was  that she was now suffering,  , her husband was  swinging  between  life and death  precariously,  , she asked for  his  forgiveness,   sherwat s voice  became  emotional,   she broke into  tears, 

In arsalan  s eyes    flashing  fires  became visible,  he thought of holding  mother  daughter  duo from their  scheming heads and  smash them together 

from previous...

.....sgehroz reached home and  sat down outside  for a while,  past memories and other events  were lingering on his mind, attached to the  veranda lawn was baji s room, Rahat beghum was also there, they were engrossed in talking  amongst themselves,  , he didn't much pay attention to them until his name was mentioned  and  he was drawn to it,  she was  asking   izharuldin ro tell  shehroz to get married  after that she became silent  , perhaps  some  sickening  disgusting  statement was choked  inside  her or it would have poisoned  the minds for sure , he  encouragingly  agreed if shehroz gave his consent  she could  go forward  with the idea  , his tone was uncaring,   but where  was he  did he tell  any of  both   about his  whereabouts,   aju bhaya remained  silent  and began reading his newspaper 

muhabbet zindabad...

....it was early morning  when they got the news aju bhai was unwell and rushed to the hospital and immediately admitted  there, , almas  clutched ger heart for qpast some time sge gad observed  hus condition was deteriorating,  he had become very weak,  ,  she reached the hospital  and was awfully terrified to see her brother  connected to so many  machines,  his pres Today  also was a reason  to live for and  of  unconditional  support,   he had  been there for her in all her difficult times and provided her security and proved an unshakable  shield  always defending her, all he had to say was he was there to solve  her problems  and  all the problems  disappeared  , she spread out her veil  praying for his life and speedy recovery  , entire  clan was present  there,  , aju bhaya was good to each and every one 

page 59...

....humility teaches  understanding of knowledge 

Knowledge  helps  be practical 

Practical  get  power 

Power begets  destiny 

Destiny   changes  the world 

Giving up the materialistic  world  brings one closer to the end 

Ready for the end   is association  with almighty 

from previous....

.....what house, she asked,  she had no home,  all her relatives were  made to be given up  by her and she  was dumped,,  all she had for her family was her dadi,  where else could she go leaving her  grandma  alone,, when nashrah explained  her feelings with  flooding eyes Ibrahim  was left staring at her,  he exited  the room saying  then  she was free  to  stay  there

Nashra looked at dadi who looked  extremely weak in these past few hours, silently  she in her heart  prayed for  forgiveness  as sge lay down in the nearby couch  with her hands folded under her cheek,  , she kept on looking at her dadi till her eyes heavy with  exhaustion  shut and she slept 

Somebody  called out Nashra  softly,  she found it hard to open her eyes,  Ibrahim stood  there  with his hands in his trouser pockets,  quickly she picked up her veil  kept by her pillow side  and covered her head respectfully,  he was annoyed  for  if she wanted to sleep she ought to have gone home 

from previous...

....,she  kept on crying  from night till morning  and from morning to dusk,  that terrible man had  locked her up in the room and left,  a helper  pushed a food tray inside towards her that she didn't even glance at, , she was starving  and thirsty  , her condition was bad, , her eyes were blinded   with tears and  this darkness  had  fell on her fate

Today it was  asra s wedding day,  , she  held her spinning head with acute pain  in her hands,  , she was not aware what would be  the scene at home,  , she must be missed and others worried looking for her every where,  , ammi, dadi and baba  must  be  feeling awful,   from  uk had arrived  phuphu s family to attend  the wedding function,  , several  distant  relatives  also  had arrived,   and what an awkward situation  for poor  darlings ammi and baba who would not know what to say  to asra s in laws

from previous..

.....for her  household  chores were more than enough  to keep her occupied,  she was under age  and not done her matric  yet,  , in this   age usually   girls are uncaring and free from all responsibilities  but  circumstances were  against her and she was captive of her situation  a covering  of seriousness  was  choking her personality,    abba had started to pay more attention and spend more time with  his  own brothers and their family,   , how he hated sadaf

He saw the world through  tai s eyes, listening from her ears,  perhaps  he even  thought  only from her mind,  that's why he found   so many  flaws in sadaf  s work, he did  what pleased tai  , she was left for  a piece of  unwanted  furniture  , nobody cared  about her future  , her  education,  her schooling,  she was kept so busy  she  got no time  to study,  her mind   was dulling,  , exhausted from  whole day's work  she fell like a log at night  in her cot  holding her text books 

page 157....

....inayat  appa  directed her  wisdom filled lecture towards  sadaf who was her so called  daughter   and appa her guardian all matters of security,  working women's hostels were notorious  and every female resident was supposedly  of loose character  and as her well wishes she was overly concerned   and sighed  to save her reputation   it wasn't advisable  though  every woman was different and not fitted in the same  mould  but  the crowd enjoyed scandalous  stories  to  spend their  free time  charring  others  , her tone was extremely bitter,  with her head Lozada listened   to all the sob tales of woe

Continued appa  that she knew it how nice  sadaf  a person was , her habits were clean,  nature amiable  but the environment was dubious and  each and every resident  was suspected,  some  girls  are desperate  and destitute  tossed by ruthless hands of time  to stay there  and they have no  free will  no other option  and are helpless  to face  the situation  

Sadaf s life story was similar to others,  there was nothing new nor different,   her mother died when she was very small and other women in the family took up on themselves the responsibility to raise her but they had their limitations,  sadaf was treated more like a maid servant  than the member of the house 

maa

...the word mother  brings a smile on every  living  soul  s face  , it defines  a beautiful  loving unconditionally  woman  who is ever ready  to sacrifice herself  to protect her progeny,  globally  various cultures  and social  groups   have given  different names to the same  person  they call mother  who alone  sincerely  loves them  for them,  in this modern world  nobody has time to spare except   the mother they know  who  raises ten children  and  never complains feeding  clothing and sheltering them from the wild world but these very ten children  grow up strong  to face the challenges  of life  but together  or single handedly  not any of them  can support  the old weak mother  in the end

from...

...not far away is  fallen mace from victory 

Sleeping on ground  will raise collection of stars

....remains  still  the  scribbling  of twigs on leaves

It's the   time of lightning  falling on the spring garden 

page 153...

...sleep shall we till the end of universe 

Free have we become   deposits of valuable sorrows 

....a moth  in his last dance round the flame said 

Become light to live with light 

....

gazal...

.....  remembering  those days  as are remembered  those nights 

Talking of them  sentiments flood  the eyes

 When  dusk descends lamps are lit

Heart burns   freshening up hurts as night smiles

Moments  spent  somewhere    in life 

Sings melodies of sorrowful  sighs

Sleep destroys  innumerable  desires

Patting softly  humming lullabies 

Beautiful faces often in the hands of life 

Don't ask  gauhar why get deceived 

from previous....

.....asra  got engaged  in a quiet simple  ceremony,, from the groom  s side arrived  his parents and sister and younger brother to  perform  the ritual,, in their  compact  drawing room  had descended  colorful  cheerful  air, , when masoor s mother   put the ring on asra s finger  the younger brother was invited to meet his sister in law,  and the  young man  filled  with  curiosity and  interest  stepped into the room from the drawing room,  nashra thought   aloud she had believed  her would be  brother in law was a kid,  her voice was loud enough to hit the young man  s ears who startled turned to look at the beautiful attractive  nashra sitting with the bride  and  said  he was still a kid to his  affectionate  family,  he handed a  beautiful gift pack to asra  as he commented,  his gaze  glued to nashra s face  and nashra thought  he was there to see his  brother  s bride and  his  eyes were  stuck on her, dadi sitting on the the  other side some distance away  instructed  firmly  to nashra to get up from there because  she was  rooted  to the spot , nashra  walked up to rabab ro sit down with her, , asra s sister in law was also  around  and  looking at nashra  commented   mashallah what a beauty she was

from previous...

.....rabab entered the scene of chaos  ,both nashra and asra were quarreling   ignoring  all the priorities  and the world around them, nashra  blamed  asra for  picking up  arguments  asking for her personal belongings unreasonably  

There wasn't anymore reason to cry about it for their parents were  looking for a suitable date  for asra s rukhsati  , then  nashra can  spend all the time in the world  peacefully,  both asra and nashra were startled to hear rabab,  and when was the dreaded day of rukhsati

For heavens  sake  instead of asking when  ask where is she going  after her rukhsati,  in a mock sorrow  rabab   said  its not when  but where to that is more important , nashra  taunted it was high time  asra left her in peace   but asra stayed silent 

How would rabab know of it all, was there any  matrimonial proposal  sent, , the air became  serious  , rabab had just overheard  ammi and dadi talking 

page 23...

....it wasn't certain how long they had traveled  before with a jolt the vehicle  entered an open gate  and stopped,   he stepped down and walked around to open  her door  and asked  pari to get down,   she looked at him  tiredly,  he argued  what was she staring at   and must quickly get out of the vehicle,, she had not liked being touched  and this was an absolute  nightmare that she was against her wish  brought  somewhere,  calling her pari frequently  he had kidnapped her,  she will  definitely  take revenge,  just   give her a chance,  , she was ready  to explode  with  the lavae of her suppressed  anger , she stepped out and gave that man a  push  and  blindly ran towards the gate he lost his balance from her unexpected  attack and straightened himself and ran after her, she was caught,  the gates were already shut, how swiftly someone gad closed them , she swore she wasn't  pari, , it was some  ugly mistake 

page 22...

....grandma quickly asked where were they to go

Wherever nashra decides  because  barira had arrived  on nashra  s invite  , she had phoned   her  that appi  and children were  bored  so an outing  drive was planned  shrugging  barira explained, 

That girl nashra just needed  a reason to enjoy  outdoors,  , she had  oil massaged her head and  will return  in minutes  all ready and shampooed,  grandma  glared at nashra  who ran inside,  , rabbit moaned  let her be because  they also  didn't  get a chance  quite often  to be driving  around,  grandma  reluctantly  allowed them to go out driving in borrowed car with   tagline  not to get used to borrowed luxuries and part time  joys   adding  she belonged  to  the breed that  used  public  carriage  and old fashioned rickshaws  to reach somewhere  , her neck stiffened  as she craned  her neck with pride to look at barira

page 19...

...the vehicle  was flying past and her  heart seemed to be sinking,   her vision darkened,  she turned silent after screaming and shouting on top  volume of her  voice,  ,sge had fought and  hit and beaten up the man  who was driving the vehicle  holding the steering wheel with one strong hand and with his other clutched hers not  letting her escape,   he was driving  quite rash  , city lights  seemed to rush backwards  and scenery floated , she didn't know where was her driving her to,  ,  coincidentally or deliberately  she  had been taken hostage, this mere idea  was hair-raising  and spirit crushing,  , she felt  her body and mind  lose consciousness 

from previous...

.....yahoo screamed  nashra as soon as she opened the door  announcing  manza appi had come,   in a tired voice  the appi asked her to let her at least  step into the house,  , nashra  in her enthusiasm and  sentiments  had forgotten  to give  her visitor  way , , courteously  she asked  appi to come  in,  speaking to her she took her traveling  bag from her, , how long  will you be staying,   asked nashra  looking at the  overloaded bag happily,  appi twined herself around  grandma sitting on the cot and replied to nashra for a few days  was she visiting,  pinching  Jaya s cheeks nashra excitedly  declared it was going to be  real fun time,  maharaja had dropped them at grandma s, manza  quietly answered  her grandma  s queries  quasar was fine  so was her mother in law,  grandma  keenly  observed her, , sadaf beghum  came to embrace  her daughter  and sit by her side,  mother suggested looking at her daughter manza  she was tired from traveling  and must freshen up first 

page 15..

....asrah pushed Nashua aside to run towards the door,, she couldn't  change  before leaving for school,  her senior would  kill her for being late, Nashra collapsed  in her grandma  s lap slowly,  , she was banking classes today she explained  because  there weren't  too many   active lessons  and she wasn't in school  but in college,  she unsuccessfully  tried to  suppress her yawn, , grandma  moaned  what kind of  educational  institution  she was attending where teachers didn't bother,  teachers were  uninvolved and students absent  , every day was a Sunday,  grandma scowled at her granddaughter,  nashra   stiffened her neck pruning in being a college goer  , her grandma would not understand  four times a week was enough for proper classes  and on other days it was as you wish ,  her attitude was quite uncaring 

page 15...

....how dare you  put on my clothes  Nashra shouted on top of her voice  she stared at  asra with boiling  eyes, , asra explained her suit wasn't  ready so ....the statement was left unfinished,   nashra  yelled   giving asra a piece of her mind   that she was had failed to successfully complete her domestic chores nor was she  accomplished in managing her own affairs  , now  she would be  misusing  her attire and jewelry   , what an amazingly   stupid fool asra was,  nashra instructed  her to quickly take off all her jewelry and  clothes,   nashra  s body language was aggressive  with her screaming  glaring  snapping fingers  wagging  tongue and one arm on her waist  

Asra  was leaving for school  , her suggestion was to wait  till she was back from school,  nashra argued  on her return  asra  habitually  went  to bed  and stayed  there resting  with her mid day meal served  in her room,  asra would  dirty her clothes and also  the bedsheets   eating  her lunch in bed relaxing 

page 12...

....o God,  so much shopping also proves a  nuisance  to life  shifting  all the  brands   in shopping bags she carried from one hand to another  , fingers were quite paining and  swollen  and red, but she was the reigning  shopping queen,  , she turned to see irritability  at baju who was exiting  the mall cheerfully   but stopped midway to embrace warmly  a woman  and getting engrossed in  quite an informal gossip that would take uncertain time to end, , her irritability  increased and she waved with her red swollen fingers to baju to cut her gossip short and come  back   just for a fraction of a second  baju glanced in that direction  , she lifted the car keys gesturing, , so what they were to do  was to wait for baju 8n the car better than standing  midway tiring themselves out, , she glared angrily at the sunlight  and walked at top fast pace crossing the parking area to reach  the car and open the bank door,  and dumped the shopping bags on the back seat before banging the door shut, she then  opened the front door and almost collapsed into her  driving seat 

page 85...

....she had  fixed her grandson  s picture in her mobile fondly  and called h8m sahib lovingly,  sahib had turned three months old but  the ice settled in arsalan  s heart did not  melt,  it was widely floating  that  Sabina and arsalan had separated,,   the mischievous  would   gleefully  ask leading questions,  it was then  that Sabina   decided to  get rid off all the surrounding negativity  and joined a school,  sahib was left  with almas  under her protective wing,, appa  bano  sent a maid s daughter  to help them  

Azma s new flat was built and ready,  her children  s school  was located  closer to almas house,  her husband safyan also wanted  she stayed with her almas khala  so they didn't move into the new apartment,  almas could not  stop it , she couldn't tell them it was not right nor practical  nor  possible  but when azma  arrived  almas liked her presence  around  more over  there was not a soul  more considerate  gentle and kind than azma