from previous...

.....sheher bano asked   Marie  what was her opinion about  ahtasham  , Marie who was  setting  her luggage had her  attachécase open by her side,  for a moment her hands  stopped  working,,  she lifted her eyes to look at her mother for a while and shrugged before going back to arranging her stuff, there on sheher bano s face  appeared somewhat  unpleasant expressions 

She persuaded  her daughter to answer  her question properly in an acid tone,  catching  her mother's  mood  she fully attentively  turned to face mother  and explained  she had  nothing  to say   on the subject,  because it was father's  choice so he must be good  , finishing the whole matter in one say

Marie,  how was your  dating  experience  with him, 

Daughter  pointed out  what mattered her opinion  in the matter , she was quite serious  now 

She didn't like grandma living all alone by herself there and dad  didn't feel comfortable  leaving his dear daughter  there with her so this marriage  condition was   put up 

yar e dildar...

....they all five  after the dinner was over  relishing the green native  tea kahwa  made by anas, the wind blowing in through the main door and the windows  seemed quite pleasant,  ahsan s mind  was bent on playing mischief,  

Dear anas your wife will always  give  us all  heartfelt  blessings commented  Ahsan sipping  at his  kahwa 

But how and why asked  anas doubting  himself for marrying some preacher,  he fluttered his eye lids  in mock innocence 

Explanation  from Ahsan followed  removing his fears  that they all had made him an expert tea maker that's why  he will prove a perfect  house husband 

from previous....

....for breakfast  in the morning  brown eggs  with parathas butter and Lassi was served, tabir had never  before  had such a wonderful  breakfast  for  hers was breakfast a routine affair  based on bread only with  butter  , sge ate heartily  , 

She was invited to join otgers for a walk  in the fields,  the  girl  who was last night  talking in sleep Nadya had  explained  was mamuna was by her side speaking to tabir informally 

Tabir accompanied  other girls,  the fields were  lush green surrounded with greens,  the scenery was breathtaking,  suddenly she wished sge was one of the native  women  born and brought up there, sge would have  carried  water in vessels on her head home, izwan a stranger stopped her and asked for  a drink , she would have poured  out water for him certainly 

Mamuna waved her hand  before  her dreaming eyes , where was sge lost she asked tabir

Mamuna s waving hand brought her back  to reality  from the world of her romantic  imagination 

She recalled  something from her memory and asked who was ashram   the question  turned  Mamuna red 

page 74....

.....Izwan along with his wife  tabir and infant  zeb took ten days off from his work  to  attend the wedding of amjad in the village  where  they were  promptly and warmly welcomed  by the entire host family,  the  house was full  with  a variety of guests noisily buzzing around,  tabir s head began spinning  seeing the huge  massive  house  and such activities,  she realized  the house wasn't that big after all  but was crowded  tightly accommodating  too many 

She asked where were they to stay,  her voice  and tone sounded  rather nervous,,she was explained by the family  perhaps the house wasn't too big but their hearts were  very big and she would be staying   with them all with  a promising note she amjad explained  she will not find it uncomfortable  and face no problem,  , amjad had reached there  and was assuring  her, tabir  was embarrassed  because she was asking her husband  to clarify the situation, 

Tabir who initially was feeling  an outsider  quickly relaxed  as she was enveloped in the sincere warmth  of the women folk of the family 

from previous....

....what is my doll doing  asked pazwan tickling  zeb who was in her cot  and began  gurgling  seeing her father  , tabir welcomed him home  enquiring  about his return from work  and if he wanted his tea  and left for the kitchen to make his tea,  he enjoyed  spending his time  after  a long  day  with his little zeb who was his life  and she too  adored him completely,  tabur felt  zeb spent  whole day with tabir taking care of her but the moment  father arrived  zeb changed  party   he recalled  how an argument had struck  on zeb s birth  to give her a name  of their choice,  thankfully  during the heated  argument  that day the lady doctor  appeared on the scene and  kept  tge new born  s name  zeb that stuck , the doctor had explained the name  zeb was the heroine of the novel  mere hi rehna...stay mine forever 

gunjaish...

....gather grumbled  patting the little infant six month  zeb to sleep in her cozy lap    that they never  could go on a honeymoon,  infant was busy playing  games on his cell phone  sitting   in a sofa, he suggested  what was so  troubling her, she could  still go on a honeymoon leaving the little  zeb with h8m, on Iowan s statement  tabir looked  quite  puzzled  and asked  who  with  she  could go

All alone by herself  , who else, better to take  someone from  the neighborhood  along  for  company,  in fact she must go frequently  almost  every day

from previous...

...sawar was clad  in his  smart casuals with black trousers and white shirt,   buttoning up his  shirt he brushed his hair back airily, shadow of a beard on his intellectual face  lighted up his personality,  looking at his misty image  8n the  window glass  he emerged from the tea shop, mia ji smiled at him placing  a tea cup, last night  sawar had slept there,  Mia ji had spoken  to a friend  khan  regarding  his job,  sawar had a meeting fixed with  mushtaq bhai at nine,  mia ji had explained  mushtaq bhi had a sweet shop on the mall road,, but only god knows what kind of job was waiting for sawar

from previous...

.....amma  asked  dear kangan if she was ready ,  she quickly  moving her fingers rubbed the lotion  all over her face and hands saying she was ready and sge covered herself in the  shawl like veil amma added and what about diya dear and put on her burqa   and  balanced her lock and keys, she too was coming,  hanging her college bag on her shoulder  Kansan began checking and  locking the doors,  her college shoes were kept  in a corner in the veranda,  taking  off her casual home slippers she  changed  her footwear  and went out, it was a mixed weather today   sge thought,  sunshine   was ted to brightly brighten up but the clouds were  blocking  it , making a face  at the cloudy sky she thought it was still  fine,  she loved sunny days,  she actively  disliked  cloudy  dark skies,  the day before it had drizzled  season's  first  so  she was trying to adjust  but winter rains were extremely  terrible  and unlikable,  she looked  towards the backstreet,  diya s house was further down the street to the left, ,   diya always  used to appear  in sight  as Kansan locked her doors, if not seen  Kansan would  usher amma  climb up the  slight slope  to reach the main road  because  she gad to drop the keys at the hotel reception  where abbu worked,  diya seeing  tge locked house always followed her to the hotel  and caught up with her

from previous...

....there are  basically two types of thinkings  operating in man s minds, one  is  born out of desire  and second is   doubt created from fears , today  the coaster rider in murrie  wished to  have a life long   relationship with murrie  but the very next moment he doubted it for he must return  home the following day,  why do these  doubts pose self inflicting  obstacles  preventing one from  getting the enjoyment he wants,  that beautiful  day spent in murrie   ended in a heap of  disappointments,  the rider returned to the tea shop, each one present there had a different plan for himself for tge next day,  he was looking for a decent job and  wasted his whole day visiting hotels  restaurants and ordinary shops  but without any  positive response from anywhere,  there was a vacancy 8n a fast food  shop for a chef  but nobody needed  a room service  or waiters , when a glass of water was placed before him by fakhri he swallowed it whole in one  breath,  he had absolutely forgotten to drink water that day sawar ordered two rotisserie and some dal for himself  and it was served by fakhrri within hardly seven minutes 

page 54...

....Abraham  asked shamaya  for her permission to speak up his mind,   she also  came out from her deep  reverie  shaking it off, his point was simple enough  that  Islamabad  enjoyed  spending weekends in murrie  so it was evident  one day   the secret will be  public,  so it wasn't at all possible to keep  the matter  away from Bilal for long,,  shamaya asked if they should themselves tell Bilal of tge truth,  she sunk back deep down into ger worries as he stood smiling  there,  he explained she wasn't catching the point  was that Bilal was also there  still and once sge took over  complete control of the hotel  then it would not  matter at all because Bilal would not be able to  interfere 

page 53...

...nadim sahib  was announced,

 shanaya sleepily turned  her side,  did sonu go to school  or did he sulk and  created any trouble 

No madam 

Ok, ask nadim sahib to sit in  the  drawing room  and wait awhile 

! She sat upright 8n her bed and tied her long hain a bun, she threw a glance  at the  wall clock,  it was showing eleven  mid day, , her gaze shifted towards the calendar  that brought a smile to her lips, 

The comfortable lazy life was over she  spoke to herself so sgamaya  Ibrahim  get ready  for life is a battle 

from previous...

.....and that was his second smile after several hours,  tge smile had  casually  touched  the young man's  lips, he thought for a while and began  to climb down the slope, to reach the tiny shop  with bamboo    railings  and bamboo floored veranda  that was used as a store to keep  chairs  tables cots and benches for  serving,  there wasn't much of rush,  he extended his wrist to see the time     , it displayed   ten thirty  day time  yet somehow   breakfast time seemed  was over,  three  persons  sitting in the  tea shop looked at him  in sheer surprise   one of them was an elderly man   second was a young man of twenty two or thereabouts  tge third an eleven year old,  he asked if tea was available  looking at their faces one by one  who perhaps  thought  the approaching man  was going to ask about some address 

Of course,  why not , the elderly man stood up to welcome the customer,  a cour cot was dragged near for him to sit on

page 50...

....life is quite short  , half of it in your favor  the other half  against you,  the time  that is in your favor  don't  let success go to your head  and  when  life is going against you  keep patience,  

Standing  at the murrie  bus station  she opened her small  humble  purse  to pull out the only  five hundred rupee note tucked away  previously to put it  on the palm  that reminded  him of the saying  by hazrat ali  along with  rushing memories of ammi  and maji  because  it was maji who had   ages ago given this specific note on one eid, after maji was gone  ammi had  persuaded  never to spend that special note on ordinary  purpose because such  money  are meaningful and bring prosperity,  so it was tucked away  and there was no regret nor resistance  naturally  it was safe and without objection,  his pockets were always overwhelmingly overflowing with money,  so he quickly  obeyed ammi s command  rather  uncaringly,  and today he desperately needed that money,  today that was all he had 

page 49...

.....what happened 

You too promise me never to  hesitate to share in life  whatever  it takes,  diya s voice was gentle and soft,  right or wrong,  in your favor or against you always share your matters with me, inshalla  she will give her the best solutions 

Sanya had no doubt over  diya s integrity 

But diya laughing said perhaps  her brains and sensibility were doubted , they began walking   together holding hands,  sanya asked diya to explain if one in love  really  lost his mind and ability to think properly,  it was meant to tease her on purpose,  moving towards the  library   diya replied  that was  true 8n most cases,   , sanya was completely horrified and vowed never would she  ever  look at any man  to avoid falling in love and losing her  mind

But what if she found someone through chatting online,  this sounded more terrible and a great  matter of concern  , sanya became thoughtful  and silent,   she declared she never answered unknown numbers and forwarded  calls from  strangers  to her abbu

from previous...

....sanya was not at all ready to melt  just because her friend   diya  had already decided to do something and wanted  her support  at emotional gunpoint,  , diya needed assistance and assurance  to feel strong,  diya changed the subject  now fully aiming  at sanya  striking  a fresh debate  what would she do in her position,  who, me asked sanya turning her gaze from the chestnut tree to smile at diya explaining  if ammi were alive she certainly would have shared her matters with her but  her statement  silenced her completely  , diya loved talking  whole day regardless of  what sanya felt , not realizing  she invaded her solitude  with her nonstop constant chatters 

from previous...

....the rain had stopped, from the trees and foliage  and wet leaves  the remaining water was slowly  dropping   into the damp grass to mix  with it, though it was early March showers,  but the air  had increased the chill  because it was murrie  winter,  rain and wet  lawn  and  gangs of college girls  began  loafing about in the corridors and verandas  during the fifteen minute break  after which   the noisy hustle and bustle would  stop by itself,  

page 44...

....early morning  six  is the time  when  the system of the world  life begins to slowly  rise up to  lazily at snail's  pace speed up later on to catch up with  life , passengers  are  are regularly  carried off from bus stations but   at this early hour the stations have a  vacant   feel  ,  come March and  finish hyper activity  at the crack of dawn becomes visible,  the reason  at six such a hustle and bustle  appeared,  crowded noisy honking horns disturbing yet drawing attention  of the waiting passengers, conductors  feeling inadequate  to get proper importance  that honking should be  making  were screaming  on top of their   voices  to catch  the attention of passengers,  even if these  off beat voices were  strangled   the smell  mixed of cigarette smoke and burning diesel  was present  strongly  in fact so strong was the smell  filled  up in the air  distant  roads could easily  find the location of the bus station,  sounds resonating  a variety of different  coloqial  , passengers  running around  in confusion  to reach their desired destination  on time  tried to catch the right  bus

page 23...

....the eldest  daughter in law  and that too so obedient   polite and  who was a great cook  ,  always ready to  make  choicest of delicious  dishes on demand,   her parents were conservative and  raised her with time tested leasson  passed down from generation  to generation  that  a perfect wife  must win over her husband and others  with good food,  she regularly  on routine  sent off her husband to work but not without his breakfast fed and packed lunch,  followed by giving food to her four unmarried  brothers in law and each one  was  handed his  lunch box to go with him to office  returning to the kitchen to serve her dadi  and parents in law their  breakfast 

Over with  morning  schedule  mud day  meal  time  started,  she would  keep  herself busy  for the next meal and in between and  snacks and tea and run around  seeing  nobody went hungry,   evenings she kept exclusively for herself,  looking great fresh and nice she waited for her husband to welcome him back home,  going out together  and spending a couple of hours  alone,  tabanda was always sought after  by everyone in the family 

page 21....

....she  entered  the  house   and what followed was a huge  earthquake shaking experience,  she was shocked to see the entire place in a chaos, didn't  she bring with her any help  to get tge things settled  and  arranged in proper   condition,   and pat came her response   that  she gad thought  all  by now  must be already  done,   she  rearranged  her chicken  wrap around her, , she surveyed  the scenario  keenly,  the bedroom,  lounge,  drawing room everywhere  clutter was scattered 

Manuza was gripped in high fever  so sge advised her to  join them later   by then they will themselves  help  themselves,  self help is the best  of all after all,  hamra spoke pecking at her chips

Wicked girl  was spinning  tales and  how could anyone believe it so readily,   a person  like her who wasn't any use  and couldn't make  a cup of tea  how possibly could  do far more  Arabic was annoyed at ganea who was clearly  overclever  but also helpful  and sge quickly  with  barira   arranged the  room settings starting  from  the wardrobe,  putting  tge shoes, clothes handbags and bedsheets  , pillows cushions  covers  curtains   towels  all placed in their proper places  neatly as te cluttered area tidied up

page 19...

.....boy,,,.questioned  hamra , Barbara  needed to get her eyes checked  , the man in the morning who paid for their tea wasn't any boy but mature mustached  man and  mustache  added  respectability  to a man's personality  increasing his maturity  looks,  hanra disagreed  with  Barbara  s statement,  

Now it was Barbara  s turn to  get irritated  for the boy had no mustache   and was cleanshave,  

Oh how could she deny the fact because in the morning he had  nice  mustache,   for some unknown reason hamra felt  sad for not having mustache  on the boy s face,  

He looked exactly like zen

Who looked like zen asked Barbara  in a lost voice 

Hamra explained zen asif Raza  of  tanhaiya and looked sadly at her niece   on  her lack of knowledge 

Ooh that one father if Raza mir

Phuphu was an ardent  fan of old drama and watched them all  because she was so fond of them,  she had introduced  these  old dramas in her niece  s life, who preferred  New dramas  both aunt and the niece  began defending their  heroes  they  admired

from previous...

....go quickly  wash your face and  then  she promised to  tell all, Barbara making  faxes moaned  hamra was just  giving her instructions,  their  argument  had started comparing her to bhai han,  that barware exactly like him,  that she ought to have  become a lawyer like him,   by now  hamra  has lost her patience  pausing to   catch her breath  hamra sighed  before  telling  her  whole  episode of morning  experience 

Barbra  commented  just within  twenty four hours of them arriving  in a brand new place  hamra had already started a borrowed  account  in a tea shop, Barbra stood up and quickly  got herself ready when  hamra gave her fifty rupees  to pay off at the morning teashop,  Barbra again debated   it was hamra  who had enjoyed  the morning tea there  and only she was to make  the payment  , she already felt  her courage defeated   her,  hamra  explained  all she had to say keep the money  for the tea and no more lecture  was to be  given, she held the fifty rupee note speculative,   then she looked at her phuphu aunt and holding the money  in her hand  opened tge door and let  herself  exit  and she knocked at the opposite door to the flat  quickly handing the boy fifty rupees  who had opened the door,  she add keep the money  for the tea, the boy looked flabbergasted,  he looked at Barbra and looked thoughtful  and then  his face distorted,  he said it wasn't a reason nor was he  selling tea

page 18....

....tge stranger in the leather jacket  came to the same tea shop hamra was waiting for her tea, her scowls  were  daggers   he put his  hands up in the air  in mock  terror  and explained   to her  believe him,  he  religiously  gad to have tea in the morning  and in the evening because  he had newly shifted in tbe same block and  tge tea shop was close by, he accepted the tea from tge shopkeeper and handed it to her,  she thankfully  accepted the tea and sat down on a nearby chair,   there was another  vacant chair  opposite ger on which this  jogger sat down  holding his tea,  he asked her if he could believe him, hamra   naturally  shared his circumstances  , just shifted she was too facing similar  problems,  conversation  had started off and her gaze happened to  fall on the cup which was smaller in capacity than hers in which  tea  three times more  to that quantity  could be had

Her objection to the  small size of the  tea cup was right , he got  impressed  and  interested   in her for showing  her  liking for having  more tea,  he seemed  happy to  know   her 

from previous...

....he scowled  and commented he had  no desire  nor habit to stalk women,   now it was up to them to believe it or not,  hamra  snorted  looking at his back  or rather at the back of his  leather jacket,  she was briskly walking on her  jogging track,   the early morning breeze  that  had felt  quite chill  now didn't feel so cold,  people were  starting to enter the park,  hamra  came to sit down on a bench,  she was desperately longing  for a cup of hot tea,  , thinking of exiting  and  look  for somewhere to have tea she slowly  began to look  outside the park,  towards the right  some way ahead was located  a tea shop,  some  god fearing blessed man had  put a heavy  and huge   container  on the flame  to boil,  when she stood  there waiting for the tea that man arrived,  brown haired black leather jacket,  , watching her strict gaze  fixed on himself he  lifted his hands up

from previous....

......hamra  finished her  nanaz and was back  in the balcony but   not  before  putting on the hooded jacket , there was a park in the front  view across tge road,  thick  woods,  flower beds, busses green foliage  and green grass  spreading  throughout the huge  park,  the   chirping birds fluttered   around  filling up the morning  scene,  she sat admiring the  divine  scenery  dreamily for  some time  as the sunlight  lifted the yawning sleepy darkness away,   returning to the room  she once again tried to shake  Barbara up to wake up, who tossed and turned  on her side  grumbling  to let her sleep  at least  , it was already next day gamra firmly spoke up,  it was time to go for a walk,  lancet was pulled aside to uncover  her face,   Barbara  sleepily promised  to go for a walk  when  she us done  with her sleeping hamra realized  she was really  unconscious  slapped Barbara on her shoulder and turned towards the door,  she stepped out and that moment  someone from the opposite flat also came out,  indifferently hamra shut her own door after her, auto locking it, covered her head  properly with her shawl and  moved forward  towards the lift

page 16...

...dusk  descended  and turned to night  then to midnight  and then to the last hours of late night  and  it was then  hamra who had gone to bed  early evening  woke up with her eyes wide open  not quite  aware  where was she,   it wasn't her familiar bed nor pillow  but a sofa strange to her , the room was faintly lit, , she turned her mobile on to check the time,  , there was some time  to Fajardo, , hamra looked around,  , her memory recovered  seeing the scattered around  clutter,  she remembered they had moved into their new flat  , she had eaten  double  for supper and fell to unconscious sleeping  ,  only God knows what was mixed in her food she ate that made her sleep  long hours unconscious,  hamra covered  babli  with a blanket who was shivering  and shrunk  with cold it seemed  it was exhaustion,  she yawned and  stepped into the balcony,  where she was welcomed by chilling  air and darkness,  distant street lights were  on, trembling with  cold  hamra quickly  returned to the room,  , she had no sweater nor warm shawl  on her,  just clad in a simple cotton  suit and  dupatta which failed to protect her from  icy winds blowing  outside  on the  sixth floor  balcony 

from previous...

....finding  lost things is the main responsibility  of wife , said tge older wiser man, the junior thought  on the contrary  it was better to buy a new kit than getting a bride to find his shaving kit, he removed the entire clutter scattered  on the mattress  and tgen collapsed on it, but the senior was ruthlessly adamant  that he must get married  so tge wife could keep all his things in proper order moreover  tge uncle will  not have to take care of him and he will happily  give up cooking  for them both 

page 15...

...he was getting himself worried  how was he to shave  the  next morning,  all he could do was to look  for  his shaving kit , more than half if the clutter was thrown out,  perhaps  his kit was still  somewhere  between  and beneath  something  somewhere,  to find  what he wanted he must  scatter the clutter around,  nephew and material uncle both were equally  sarcastic in their tone t talking to each other,   junior was updated  by his  senior  to watch his tone fir tge seniors  were to be respected  rightfully 

He rubbed his hand over his head,  before shifting to the  new house  he had been given a haircut,  he appeared  younger and more  good looking  in his dashing  moustache  and thick eyebrows with that nice  new haircut 

me tum se kya puchhun...

....the mid day was sliding down,  all that  Barbara knew was her each and every  joint was rickety and paining,  there were  just  three members  but the  weight of   groceries  in the  bags she carried felt  were  meant to feed  a dozen  people   and their clan, , every  item was separately packed is different cartoon  and neatly  taped, , list was made,  all things counted more  tgat twelve  including the furniture  scattered around the new flat  in  various rooms  and the lounge   , Barbara was lying somewhere  amidst  the clutter with closed eyes and open mouth with wagging tongue 

Is the pizza ordered,  hunger was killing her, , will her food arrive when she is dead  on some function to feed the invited guests mourning over her body

hazrat ali ne farmaya....

....there is no wealth  equal to  brains 

And nothing  worse  than stupidity 

Nothing better than courtesy 

No other  help  above  practical  suggestion 

The Hazrat  advises to stay away from two  things 

The first is desire

The second longing  unendingly 

Because desires stop one  from  the  rights

And longings   misguide from achieving  correct  goals 

page 136...

.....it was the second time that zavyar gad phoned her and both the times  akram was witness,   perhaps  it was  destiny  that wanted  akram should know  all about  her past and  specially  zavyar  s presence  in her life  and if it's destined  who was sge to change it, , she loosely tied up her brown  hair  in a casual bun before   going towards the washroom 

It was six in the morning,  she showered  and chose a peach  colored  garment , all ready and dressed  and  emerged,  unexpectedly  in the lounge  on a sofa  leaning comfortably  his back  against  the side with his head  tilted backwards  sat akram  there,  darmaknoon  s forward  steps  stopped   not wanting to disturb  him if he was sleeping 

Did he spend  the  whole night  there 

from previous

...zavyar asked  zarmaqnoon   to stop looking around  and give him the address of sabah, zarmaqnoon  had never been  there before because  sabah had just recently  shifted  to this new locality,  they had no clue  what side that number was located,, he looked at his watch,  she was disappointed,  he asked without  him how  was she  to find the house,  his tone  was hard as he turned to  look  at her,  , she gad thought of ringing sabahat up on reaching the busstop 

page 130...

.....she  explained  it was her parents  department and she couldn't  say much  for now  , she spoke  slowly,, he asked  if they had no  opposition  would she say yes , zarmaqnoon looked at him helplessly,  she couldn't  gaze  into his  eyes  long  enough,  , her silence was affecting  , it was heart touching,  gazes were silently  screaming 

I am  in the  fathomless ocean 

Give me the shores

If you want  to come along 

G8ve a sign of course 

fun e zaiqa...

.....sane homely known  kitchen flavors  cooked  in a different   style  

Dal Murphy kadahi

Suji halfway

Hari mirch kheena

Atta besan paratha

Desi style kebab

Alu malai Kofta

Dehli biryani

Bengali fish special 

from previous...

...every  other person who walks along  is not meant to give  his support  when  you  stumble to break your fall by holding your hand  but sometimes  others accompany  you to see  when  where and how you will fall and how deep your  injuries are  and whether the bruises  give you enough pain on your hands or knees and if tge dust  covers your entire  personality or just the face 

zindgi...

....life is a necessity  , don't  push it  to equal desires, necessities of the poorest of the poor  are also  fulfilled  and desires of great emperors also  remain unfulfilled 

Mera sara zang utar do...

....it is said   people love their own child and  wives of others , Sofia  in response  merely  looked sharply  at  her life companion,   asking him by the way  whose wife  was   the focus  of his eyes she demanded an explanation  from him,  her annoyed tone resonated  making  Zahir ali laugh out heartily,  

Poetically  responding 

If I emerge from this  problem I could think  some other thing 

 If I emerge from your love  I could  think some  other thing 

He dramatically  bowing  to her  recited  expressively, Sofia blushed  after all both were inseparable  like  body and soul,  to be together  was to be alive  and for that meaningful life  what all they had gone through  , all those who surrounded them supported them completely 

from previous....

....her last and only support was zen bhai who treated manu  like precious,  he helped her out in her all tasks from  her homework  to  to corrections  to playing  to pampering  her affectionately  showering  their  love  on her,  tolerating her  mistakes,  , fulfilling her  long list of  wishes, but zen was absolutely  helpless, 

He and his mother  loved  manu for one more reason,  talkative followed zen, then were born twin boys Hasan and hasam   , both mother and zen who desperately wanted a girl child in the family to raise her like a doll princess  their   dreams were destroyed,  both of them together    took charge of nanu, fulfilling all her right and wrong  demands,  believing  it was their  duty,  manu also was aware of their  love for her, every time she failed  to get proper response from her father  she would run to zen and his ammi

page 88....

....from the school bag  a lovely golden blonde  doll with blue eyes  looked out, 8t was break time,  fariha  proudly  took  her doll out from her bag, , all her classmates  surrounded her enviously  exclaiming  what a cute looking doll sge had,  , their eyes shone with  desire,   all those shining eyes  also  looked at fariha  enviously,  the doll belonged to her afterall,   proudly she explained her uncle had got it from London,  along with a doll house and all that package  that goes with  the doll, her beautiful dresses,   she  couldn't  explain  nor could she describe her toys so she promised them to bring each item turn by turn  to show them,  her voice  was a mix of joy, pride and some  practical  logic,  she finally declared nobody around had a doll like hers, 

Someone challenged hers was not the ultimate barbie because  manu herself possessed  a better than her doll and a dollhouse  even more luxurious,  now manu s head was held the highest  with pride  at her priceless  possession 

page 82...

....she  declared she had something to talk  about with Sabina,   it won't take much time ,  zoya was quite reserved and respectful,  she put her hand on Sabina s  shoulder so Sabina  could not say anything,   zoya walked towards the chairs arranged  on one side  in the yard,  ,Sabina was obligated to sit by her side,  hearing  the sound  of movement  almas looked out of her kitchen window,  she saw zoya , about to join her there almas turned to go out but then saw Sabina and zoya were  planning to sit themselves in the chairs,  almas stopped short  pondering over something,  she was ready for this  since yesterday,  that some important discussion was to be  expected between them,  

Zoya opened her conversation with  telling Sabina  she must listen carefully to her  and if something  offended her she must  immediately  stop her,  

Sabina was all ears and Zoya  explained  Sabina  had a right not to forgive   him but sahib had a right to his father's  proximity and needed him

from previous....

.....bano appa  s face turned  crimson, all she could say was oh you, ,arsalan  asked what was it, couldn't he come,   he was speaking apparently  to his mother but his gaze was fixed  on mami, , almas pretended  she didn't hear a word  ,  she was certain  appa bano was absolutely  unaware of what all had happened yesterday,  he was sorry  for his past behavior  and  come to take her home,  , he was quite straightforward  and expressed himself frankly  without  any  roundabout 

page 76...

....when  they reached  the hospital   both sherwat and Rahat  were in there,

Sheraton bano embraced   appa and  broke into tears , sge too became emotional,  , sge consoled  her but  the other  felt guilty and kept asking for her forgiveness  , when she turned to look at almas she  became  confused and began looking  elsewhere 

page 75...ek thi manu

.....bano appa  was rather scared when and what  her  son was about  to do, arsalan in a small  tray carried two tea cups and  entered  the  room,   in his other hand was held a jar, he placed all  of  them onto the side table,  , arsalan  handed   her her tea and picked up his own and said  if she  was aware  aju mamu was quite  seriously ill and  his  son in law also  met with an accident 

Bano appa  in shirt nodded her head  and began sipping  her tea,  he asked her a leading   question if she wanted to see h8m, , she was  thinking of that,  arsalan  encouragingly  asked her when  would she  like  to go made her  think twice  on how  her son  so suddenly had become  so socially helpful  but she remained silent  not answering him  and put back her empty cup,  , appa bano now   feared moving  around on her own,  but  she  didn't  want to discuss  the matter with arsalan,  what a a storm  in a cup in the hospital had occurred   changing the overall game  she was absolutely  unaware   of , she rang up almas when she was  to go to  the  hospital  bano appa would  accompany her

page 74....

.....soon enough  shehroz  returned with arsalan, shehroz  held almas s hands  , her hands were cold like ice,  arsalan was shocked to see almas there  and quietly   sat down in a corner,, sharwat folding her both hands  spoke to him,  he quickly stood up because  it wasn't clear  in  the first place and  he himself was also   confused ever since  he had arrived,  

She apologized for having  told  him  all lies about  Sabina  , they had deliberately  harmed them both,  arsalan had never expected  he was invited   for thus , she swore,  ready to confess  in detail  how  they had  schemed  to break up their  relationship,  , the proof of ger wicked deeds was  that she was now suffering,  , her husband was  swinging  between  life and death  precariously,  , she asked for  his  forgiveness,   sherwat s voice  became  emotional,   she broke into  tears, 

In arsalan  s eyes    flashing  fires  became visible,  he thought of holding  mother  daughter  duo from their  scheming heads and  smash them together 

from previous...

.....sgehroz reached home and  sat down outside  for a while,  past memories and other events  were lingering on his mind, attached to the  veranda lawn was baji s room, Rahat beghum was also there, they were engrossed in talking  amongst themselves,  , he didn't much pay attention to them until his name was mentioned  and  he was drawn to it,  she was  asking   izharuldin ro tell  shehroz to get married  after that she became silent  , perhaps  some  sickening  disgusting  statement was choked  inside  her or it would have poisoned  the minds for sure , he  encouragingly  agreed if shehroz gave his consent  she could  go forward  with the idea  , his tone was uncaring,   but where  was he  did he tell  any of  both   about his  whereabouts,   aju bhaya remained  silent  and began reading his newspaper 

muhabbet zindabad...

....it was early morning  when they got the news aju bhai was unwell and rushed to the hospital and immediately admitted  there, , almas  clutched ger heart for qpast some time sge gad observed  hus condition was deteriorating,  he had become very weak,  ,  she reached the hospital  and was awfully terrified to see her brother  connected to so many  machines,  his pres Today  also was a reason  to live for and  of  unconditional  support,   he had  been there for her in all her difficult times and provided her security and proved an unshakable  shield  always defending her, all he had to say was he was there to solve  her problems  and  all the problems  disappeared  , she spread out her veil  praying for his life and speedy recovery  , entire  clan was present  there,  , aju bhaya was good to each and every one 

page 59...

....humility teaches  understanding of knowledge 

Knowledge  helps  be practical 

Practical  get  power 

Power begets  destiny 

Destiny   changes  the world 

Giving up the materialistic  world  brings one closer to the end 

Ready for the end   is association  with almighty 

from previous....

.....what house, she asked,  she had no home,  all her relatives were  made to be given up  by her and she  was dumped,,  all she had for her family was her dadi,  where else could she go leaving her  grandma  alone,, when nashrah explained  her feelings with  flooding eyes Ibrahim  was left staring at her,  he exited  the room saying  then  she was free  to  stay  there

Nashra looked at dadi who looked  extremely weak in these past few hours, silently  she in her heart  prayed for  forgiveness  as sge lay down in the nearby couch  with her hands folded under her cheek,  , she kept on looking at her dadi till her eyes heavy with  exhaustion  shut and she slept 

Somebody  called out Nashra  softly,  she found it hard to open her eyes,  Ibrahim stood  there  with his hands in his trouser pockets,  quickly she picked up her veil  kept by her pillow side  and covered her head respectfully,  he was annoyed  for  if she wanted to sleep she ought to have gone home 

from previous...

....,she  kept on crying  from night till morning  and from morning to dusk,  that terrible man had  locked her up in the room and left,  a helper  pushed a food tray inside towards her that she didn't even glance at, , she was starving  and thirsty  , her condition was bad, , her eyes were blinded   with tears and  this darkness  had  fell on her fate

Today it was  asra s wedding day,  , she  held her spinning head with acute pain  in her hands,  , she was not aware what would be  the scene at home,  , she must be missed and others worried looking for her every where,  , ammi, dadi and baba  must  be  feeling awful,   from  uk had arrived  phuphu s family to attend  the wedding function,  , several  distant  relatives  also  had arrived,   and what an awkward situation  for poor  darlings ammi and baba who would not know what to say  to asra s in laws

from previous..

.....for her  household  chores were more than enough  to keep her occupied,  she was under age  and not done her matric  yet,  , in this   age usually   girls are uncaring and free from all responsibilities  but  circumstances were  against her and she was captive of her situation  a covering  of seriousness  was  choking her personality,    abba had started to pay more attention and spend more time with  his  own brothers and their family,   , how he hated sadaf

He saw the world through  tai s eyes, listening from her ears,  perhaps  he even  thought  only from her mind,  that's why he found   so many  flaws in sadaf  s work, he did  what pleased tai  , she was left for  a piece of  unwanted  furniture  , nobody cared  about her future  , her  education,  her schooling,  she was kept so busy  she  got no time  to study,  her mind   was dulling,  , exhausted from  whole day's work  she fell like a log at night  in her cot  holding her text books 

page 157....

....inayat  appa  directed her  wisdom filled lecture towards  sadaf who was her so called  daughter   and appa her guardian all matters of security,  working women's hostels were notorious  and every female resident was supposedly  of loose character  and as her well wishes she was overly concerned   and sighed  to save her reputation   it wasn't advisable  though  every woman was different and not fitted in the same  mould  but  the crowd enjoyed scandalous  stories  to  spend their  free time  charring  others  , her tone was extremely bitter,  with her head Lozada listened   to all the sob tales of woe

Continued appa  that she knew it how nice  sadaf  a person was , her habits were clean,  nature amiable  but the environment was dubious and  each and every resident  was suspected,  some  girls  are desperate  and destitute  tossed by ruthless hands of time  to stay there  and they have no  free will  no other option  and are helpless  to face  the situation  

Sadaf s life story was similar to others,  there was nothing new nor different,   her mother died when she was very small and other women in the family took up on themselves the responsibility to raise her but they had their limitations,  sadaf was treated more like a maid servant  than the member of the house 

maa

...the word mother  brings a smile on every  living  soul  s face  , it defines  a beautiful  loving unconditionally  woman  who is ever ready  to sacrifice herself  to protect her progeny,  globally  various cultures  and social  groups   have given  different names to the same  person  they call mother  who alone  sincerely  loves them  for them,  in this modern world  nobody has time to spare except   the mother they know  who  raises ten children  and  never complains feeding  clothing and sheltering them from the wild world but these very ten children  grow up strong  to face the challenges  of life  but together  or single handedly  not any of them  can support  the old weak mother  in the end

from...

...not far away is  fallen mace from victory 

Sleeping on ground  will raise collection of stars

....remains  still  the  scribbling  of twigs on leaves

It's the   time of lightning  falling on the spring garden 

page 153...

...sleep shall we till the end of universe 

Free have we become   deposits of valuable sorrows 

....a moth  in his last dance round the flame said 

Become light to live with light 

....

gazal...

.....  remembering  those days  as are remembered  those nights 

Talking of them  sentiments flood  the eyes

 When  dusk descends lamps are lit

Heart burns   freshening up hurts as night smiles

Moments  spent  somewhere    in life 

Sings melodies of sorrowful  sighs

Sleep destroys  innumerable  desires

Patting softly  humming lullabies 

Beautiful faces often in the hands of life 

Don't ask  gauhar why get deceived 

from previous....

.....asra  got engaged  in a quiet simple  ceremony,, from the groom  s side arrived  his parents and sister and younger brother to  perform  the ritual,, in their  compact  drawing room  had descended  colorful  cheerful  air, , when masoor s mother   put the ring on asra s finger  the younger brother was invited to meet his sister in law,  and the  young man  filled  with  curiosity and  interest  stepped into the room from the drawing room,  nashra thought   aloud she had believed  her would be  brother in law was a kid,  her voice was loud enough to hit the young man  s ears who startled turned to look at the beautiful attractive  nashra sitting with the bride  and  said  he was still a kid to his  affectionate  family,  he handed a  beautiful gift pack to asra  as he commented,  his gaze  glued to nashra s face  and nashra thought  he was there to see his  brother  s bride and  his  eyes were  stuck on her, dadi sitting on the the  other side some distance away  instructed  firmly  to nashra to get up from there because  she was  rooted  to the spot , nashra  walked up to rabab ro sit down with her, , asra s sister in law was also  around  and  looking at nashra  commented   mashallah what a beauty she was

from previous...

.....rabab entered the scene of chaos  ,both nashra and asra were quarreling   ignoring  all the priorities  and the world around them, nashra  blamed  asra for  picking up  arguments  asking for her personal belongings unreasonably  

There wasn't anymore reason to cry about it for their parents were  looking for a suitable date  for asra s rukhsati  , then  nashra can  spend all the time in the world  peacefully,  both asra and nashra were startled to hear rabab,  and when was the dreaded day of rukhsati

For heavens  sake  instead of asking when  ask where is she going  after her rukhsati,  in a mock sorrow  rabab   said  its not when  but where to that is more important , nashra  taunted it was high time  asra left her in peace   but asra stayed silent 

How would rabab know of it all, was there any  matrimonial proposal  sent, , the air became  serious  , rabab had just overheard  ammi and dadi talking 

page 23...

....it wasn't certain how long they had traveled  before with a jolt the vehicle  entered an open gate  and stopped,   he stepped down and walked around to open  her door  and asked  pari to get down,   she looked at him  tiredly,  he argued  what was she staring at   and must quickly get out of the vehicle,, she had not liked being touched  and this was an absolute  nightmare that she was against her wish  brought  somewhere,  calling her pari frequently  he had kidnapped her,  she will  definitely  take revenge,  just   give her a chance,  , she was ready  to explode  with  the lavae of her suppressed  anger , she stepped out and gave that man a  push  and  blindly ran towards the gate he lost his balance from her unexpected  attack and straightened himself and ran after her, she was caught,  the gates were already shut, how swiftly someone gad closed them , she swore she wasn't  pari, , it was some  ugly mistake 

page 22...

....grandma quickly asked where were they to go

Wherever nashra decides  because  barira had arrived  on nashra  s invite  , she had phoned   her  that appi  and children were  bored  so an outing  drive was planned  shrugging  barira explained, 

That girl nashra just needed  a reason to enjoy  outdoors,  , she had  oil massaged her head and  will return  in minutes  all ready and shampooed,  grandma  glared at nashra  who ran inside,  , rabbit moaned  let her be because  they also  didn't  get a chance  quite often  to be driving  around,  grandma  reluctantly  allowed them to go out driving in borrowed car with   tagline  not to get used to borrowed luxuries and part time  joys   adding  she belonged  to  the breed that  used  public  carriage  and old fashioned rickshaws  to reach somewhere  , her neck stiffened  as she craned  her neck with pride to look at barira

page 19...

...the vehicle  was flying past and her  heart seemed to be sinking,   her vision darkened,  she turned silent after screaming and shouting on top  volume of her  voice,  ,sge had fought and  hit and beaten up the man  who was driving the vehicle  holding the steering wheel with one strong hand and with his other clutched hers not  letting her escape,   he was driving  quite rash  , city lights  seemed to rush backwards  and scenery floated , she didn't know where was her driving her to,  ,  coincidentally or deliberately  she  had been taken hostage, this mere idea  was hair-raising  and spirit crushing,  , she felt  her body and mind  lose consciousness 

from previous...

.....yahoo screamed  nashra as soon as she opened the door  announcing  manza appi had come,   in a tired voice  the appi asked her to let her at least  step into the house,  , nashra  in her enthusiasm and  sentiments  had forgotten  to give  her visitor  way , , courteously  she asked  appi to come  in,  speaking to her she took her traveling  bag from her, , how long  will you be staying,   asked nashra  looking at the  overloaded bag happily,  appi twined herself around  grandma sitting on the cot and replied to nashra for a few days  was she visiting,  pinching  Jaya s cheeks nashra excitedly  declared it was going to be  real fun time,  maharaja had dropped them at grandma s, manza  quietly answered  her grandma  s queries  quasar was fine  so was her mother in law,  grandma  keenly  observed her, , sadaf beghum  came to embrace  her daughter  and sit by her side,  mother suggested looking at her daughter manza  she was tired from traveling  and must freshen up first 

page 15..

....asrah pushed Nashua aside to run towards the door,, she couldn't  change  before leaving for school,  her senior would  kill her for being late, Nashra collapsed  in her grandma  s lap slowly,  , she was banking classes today she explained  because  there weren't  too many   active lessons  and she wasn't in school  but in college,  she unsuccessfully  tried to  suppress her yawn, , grandma  moaned  what kind of  educational  institution  she was attending where teachers didn't bother,  teachers were  uninvolved and students absent  , every day was a Sunday,  grandma scowled at her granddaughter,  nashra   stiffened her neck pruning in being a college goer  , her grandma would not understand  four times a week was enough for proper classes  and on other days it was as you wish ,  her attitude was quite uncaring 

page 15...

....how dare you  put on my clothes  Nashra shouted on top of her voice  she stared at  asra with boiling  eyes, , asra explained her suit wasn't  ready so ....the statement was left unfinished,   nashra  yelled   giving asra a piece of her mind   that she was had failed to successfully complete her domestic chores nor was she  accomplished in managing her own affairs  , now  she would be  misusing  her attire and jewelry   , what an amazingly   stupid fool asra was,  nashra instructed  her to quickly take off all her jewelry and  clothes,   nashra  s body language was aggressive  with her screaming  glaring  snapping fingers  wagging  tongue and one arm on her waist  

Asra  was leaving for school  , her suggestion was to wait  till she was back from school,  nashra argued  on her return  asra  habitually  went  to bed  and stayed  there resting  with her mid day meal served  in her room,  asra would  dirty her clothes and also  the bedsheets   eating  her lunch in bed relaxing 

page 12...

....o God,  so much shopping also proves a  nuisance  to life  shifting  all the  brands   in shopping bags she carried from one hand to another  , fingers were quite paining and  swollen  and red, but she was the reigning  shopping queen,  , she turned to see irritability  at baju who was exiting  the mall cheerfully   but stopped midway to embrace warmly  a woman  and getting engrossed in  quite an informal gossip that would take uncertain time to end, , her irritability  increased and she waved with her red swollen fingers to baju to cut her gossip short and come  back   just for a fraction of a second  baju glanced in that direction  , she lifted the car keys gesturing, , so what they were to do  was to wait for baju 8n the car better than standing  midway tiring themselves out, , she glared angrily at the sunlight  and walked at top fast pace crossing the parking area to reach  the car and open the bank door,  and dumped the shopping bags on the back seat before banging the door shut, she then  opened the front door and almost collapsed into her  driving seat 

page 85...

....she had  fixed her grandson  s picture in her mobile fondly  and called h8m sahib lovingly,  sahib had turned three months old but  the ice settled in arsalan  s heart did not  melt,  it was widely floating  that  Sabina and arsalan had separated,,   the mischievous  would   gleefully  ask leading questions,  it was then  that Sabina   decided to  get rid off all the surrounding negativity  and joined a school,  sahib was left  with almas  under her protective wing,, appa  bano  sent a maid s daughter  to help them  

Azma s new flat was built and ready,  her children  s school  was located  closer to almas house,  her husband safyan also wanted  she stayed with her almas khala  so they didn't move into the new apartment,  almas could not  stop it , she couldn't tell them it was not right nor practical  nor  possible  but when azma  arrived  almas liked her presence  around  more over  there was not a soul  more considerate  gentle and kind than azma 

page 81...

Almas rang up zara, with bano appa  she  frequently  spoke to bano appa,  the phone was answered by zara  only,  , ammi was eagerly impatient  to  back,  she was getting  disturbed and uncomfortable  for a couple of days,  , she was scared,  her ticket was booked,  , the flight was next week,  zara was  informing  she was planning to  ring her up, , ammi was sleeping  and was feeling rather  heavy and   not so well,  but if almas wanted to talk to her zara would wake her up, , no no, almas decided to talk to her later when she will wake up herself  rested, , almas put down the phone,  when bano appa was coming  then  why bother her , , now  whatever  came  it was to be  directly confronted,  turning to Sabina she said  all  was  going to be fine  as appa bano was coming,  because  almas was alive she will  talk to arsalan  of the  latest  developments,  Sabina lifted her eyes to look at her mother,  on her mother's face  the expression of warmth and softness  gave her courage,  naturally  mothers  belong to  the  toughest strongest breed of the third kind, who can  fulfill all your  whims and fancies, they are rock by your side,  , Sabina  moved forward and hid her face 8n her mother's bosom,  , mother was saying soothingly  she was blessed  by almighty   it was her duty to take care of it, she must  stay positively hopeful   all shall be fine, , Sabina  felt  a cooling affect  descend on her

page 79...

....his annoyance was an outrageous  outpour  telling her what exactly he thought of her, she had an innocent look but in reality she was a ruthless person  who can  never belong to anyone  sincerely,  he was a straightforward man who didn't know how to speak  in roundabout ways, , he was strictly up to the  point  with no  frills and wrappings  , his mother was also a culprit to blame  because she deliberately  tied her round his neck,  , Sabina s mind  that was  almost passive  by now suddenly  turned on active,  a spark of recollection  lighted up her mind,  was arsalan  referring to her past broken engagement  before she was married to him, almas and she had insisted  arsalan should  be  told about her broken  engagement  but  his mother was Sabina  s phuphu  deliberately  kept it a secret and someone  other  played  mischief  , she realized  and completely comprehended  her precarious situation 

page 78...

....the day seemed very long and  lazy slow crawling,  Time   was passing as if the clock was stuck,  , Sabina looked at tall clock  now and  then, almas on the other hand  sunk herself in useless  tasks  failed to get herself out  from  stress,  , what if jwarsalam didn't return home by evening,  

What would she explain her daughter then 

Since  so  long  so many  doubts  rose against h8m

Daughter s voice was  heard saying she was getting ready  to finally go with arsalan or he might  be annoyed,  Sabina became impatient  waiting  and  began   talking to ammi to destress herself 

Almas nodded her confirmation  and simply looked at her daughter  s face,  her glowing  beauty had  vanished,  in fact  a strange  fear showed in her eyes,  almas  silently  questioned  almighty  what was her fault, there was no reason  for annoyance,  innocent  she  was yet hhe she was guilty,  always  keeping  husband's  position  and status above hers, thinking only of him and his well-being d confessed ,  does a woman only need  a life partner and  must adjust life long to  make  their marriage work 

gazal

.....that the complexion  of my life has changed 

Is a blessing  bestowed on me only by Him

Weird  behavior   of everyone 

Trusting nobody is nobody 

My heart often prays for 

A lifetime  companion  for life 

Never  breaking off ties

Or  the world will belong to noone

Never break hearts like the mirror 

Impossible it is to again put it together 

Pitying you come closer,  so what 

Life is unpredictable  

Nobody is truthfully anybody s

Nobody stands by in troubles 

tumhari yad ka mausam...

....here comes 

The season of memories 

Just Forget all pain and sorrow 

Your  shadows of memories 

Embrace me tight 

Giving  a strange pain 

Fragrance of  your memories 

Magic of you

Bring a glorious glow 

Descends a refreshing feeling 

Steps  get unbalanced 

Singing with joy 

Love  covers  dreams 

Mentioning your name 

Star of my heart 

Sparkles suddenly 

Bringing you closer

In the  town of love 

Spreading a couple of blossoms 

Praying to almighty 

O lord one day 

Before remembering you 

You should I see

Hearing  the  unseen  unheard melody 

gazal..

...incessantly had we wept hugging the walls and doors 

Feeling  sickly for long  moving in town 

Sorry for being sold out completely 

But we meet smiling  like friendly buyers

Morning begins with it in war stayed together 

Various  tasks   are served by the sword

Many  surrounding  visits from them all

Scared we became  so from the ready to battle 

Storms  or veils   or secure  havens  are they

Can't  be saved  from beating showers of  disgrace 

Eyes blinded  waiting watching the path

Yet remained  deprived of  seeing you 

gazal...

....courage  mine will not lessen 

This head will not before you lower 

Let Praise be sincere  you ruthless one 

So to escape  beheading if I may

The more you spread knowledge around 

The  more it will grow  everywhere 

Forget you may  who i am

My love for you  will never  end 

All joys will turn  joyless indeed 

If no sorrows  were around  

That day will definitely arrive  sometime 

From you will not be far away the  forbidden 

gazal

...dust that rose from   the stamping feet   flipped to moonlight 

Fragrant turned the  lanes  from where they happened to  cross 

Sorrowful winds  dried out  all

Flames of lamp of  life  were fanned  

Your thoughts  surrounded  the torch  on the way 

Shooting pain in heart shined the life  so

Promising me a treasure  for life  in a drop

That  drop of tear that  by itself  rolled down 

Unaware were others of  break up

Speaking of it spread  it far and wide

Merely a  mesmeric  gaze  cast away from  the attractive  appearance 

They asked smiling  turnng l away the gaze of interest 

If I wasn't in relation with  someone  real 

Walking along  the proper way was lost 

muhabbet zindabad...

...time was ticking  off at its natural  pace  slow and crawling,  ,  since razya chachi  had  failed to find a suitable match so far, it was possible  senior bi was  making a fool of them,  ,  she recalled what samira had said,  sanobar because of her feelings couldn't say a word,  atya appa  was constantly  unwell,  she was staying  with azma  to get herself  treatment,  how eager she was fir  ahead to get married  but situation was  so   difficult she wasn't able to have her say

She had always  considered  Sabina her sister,  she had never  thought of asking  her to  accept samira  as her daughter in law,  it never crossed her mind  she  must  use force  or emotionally  armtwist  her,  because atya never  supported such a method almass was also keeping  her eyes watchful,  atya appa s condition  was slowly    worsening  but her eyes  remained firmly filled with  her dearest  dreams 

page 62...

.....the day Farida  placed her child into Sofia  s lap their etes filled with tears, , all etes were emotionally involved,  , mother  mother in law,  sister in law and  Ahmed  were  more so, , wait of eleven years ended  with the child in the lap  whi was now theirs  but not theirs  , whole life seemed to have changed,  , her life s main focus  was tge child  she could live for,  , she would forget  entire world  to take care of ata, raise him   train him   and  shower her motherly love  and warmth   on  him 

from previous...

....Sofia suggested  it was high time  he remarried  to not  stay childless,  his argument was she wasn't  infertile,  they both were  healthy  , just that almighty  had  some  other reasons  kept secret  from them  all, , it was definitely a hard test  for both  of them   a trial  they must go through,  , they must  stay together  to get through it, , it wasn't   an  emotionally  painful   experience for  just one  of them,  it affected both  of them equally,  , their integrity  was at stake,   how could she have become  so thankless  that she  completely f forgot  to   stay   grateful to be happily married to him, he was absolutely against getting    a second wife,  he was a man  handsome and strong,  he  stayed   undefeated 8n these ten years of his married life,  he  was deeply in love  with  her, , not having  a child  made no difference to him,  , if he had chosen her  as his  life partner  he was steady  and loyal to her

page 59...

.... as the days were passing  so was Sofia becoming  more  and more  depressed,  sge frequently  visited  the doctor,    after  certain    time  slots were fixed  for   important  tests, all tests  were  similar to the first time  and result also would be the same, this  made her even more disappointed,  soon enough  Ahmed began  taking her to the psychiatrist,  , he couldn't   see her in this condition,  , he was pained to  see her condition worsening,  the treatment  included giving her sedatives and calmposes  with some  instructions   , she began  sleeping more  and for longer periods   , it was ger escape  from the  real  world  and her  miseries  in life   , wake-up  hours were same , she had turned  absolutely  uncaring of herself,  she had no awareness of  timings   to follow her routine,  neglecting her  meal times and  her appearance   on Ahmed s insistence she slowly combed  her hair,  and would  change into fresh  clothes,   once she who was an ardent  namaz  religiously  reciting five times a day  now  just lay back doing  nothing,  not reacting  to the namaz call

page 58...

....this was true both were married ten years and in these ten years not even once did she  get  a chance to become a mother,  the first two years passed away quickly  happily,  then  Sofia became extremely  stubborn  demanding a thorough  medical check up  of herself and Ahmed,  , Ahmed was  fully cooperating  where,  they were together  throughout,  , all the tests  were cleared  and both were  healthy,   there was no matter  , doctors opinion was sometimes  it was natural,  on tge doctors advice they started to follow up a treatment,   a wide range of   including  a variety of alternate treatment  was tried  but the result was just the same,  they remained  childless,  Sofia  slowly  started sinking into deep depression,  with each passing day sge  turned  even more  disappointed 

page 57...

.....her wedding anniversary was approaching just one week away  but as if  nothing mattered now,  only last night  Ahmed asked her what  gift  she  wanted   on her anniversary  and she had refused  any kind of gift right away,  what and how  can  exchanging gifts  and  throwing parties  affect  or change  life,  the house  had  everything they wanted,  all facilities and all comforts and luxuries,  she needed nothing more  so what could she ask for,  now it just didn't matter  what  material things she had,  having and not having all  the same,  when  things bought  with money give you no satisfaction  how  does it comfort you,  it doesn't 

page 50...

...son , just some more time and be patient the hospital is here

Perhaps the sobbing sounds coming from the child had  prompted  khushi Allah to  console him, he was to add more  and was wording  it but shamina  was unable to catch  his words as the vehicle  stopped with a jerk,  her courage failed her and she couldn't get out of the vehicle nor could she  muster enough   courage to get a ward boy to get a wheelchair  by going to the emergency  and see khushi Allah who in fact  himself got down  arguing  and explaining  tge worsening condition  f tge child  because  he wasn't still 8n a position to talk,  then someone  put his head inside the car from the driver's  window  to check  the condition   of the car, tge head was  quickly withdrawn but shamina  had  identified   the face  8n that fleeting moment,  it was waleed

page 25...

....people  were  restricted  to their  residences   , certainly it was quite  limiting  and  suffocating  trapped feeling,  but every one  got to spend enough time  though  forced  by circumstances  with their  loved ones,    each one learned to stay positively  cheerful,  as the holy scripture says   every  problem has a solution or it cannot be  a problem,  , she came closer  to almighty  spiritually,   praying for others  well being before  praying for  self interest 

page 23...

...when he   came to know of sadan was unwell  alyan  wanted to visit him at home,  sadan  stopped him  for  he was improving and  not   that sick,  he also asked him to take good care of aira

From morning  the weather was stormy,  the complexion of the day  was dark,  rain was expected,   naturally  sadan worried about  aira , not wanting her to be late  in the office  in the evening,  altan promised to escort her,  but sadan was aware  how  she reacted to alyan, not  free with him she  never  talked  casually  like friends   how could  she  give him permission to take care of her, how   naive was sadan  and how  strict  was she, what if he could make  a tiny little  plate in her  heart life would have  become far more  wonderful,  he  sighed 

Some  appeal  suppressed  in the heart 

As if  your eyes said something  wordlessly 

Life  spent  as if fully awake 

A spark of life  alive 

Breaths put off for ever

Alyan deeply sighed and looked at tge wristwatch 

page 22...

....before going to bed at night he pondered  on the changes   in aira s nature , she  didn't  like  speaking  freely with  men,, nor had she  made any  male friends in the university,  in fact  she  was quite reserved  with her  male  colleagues in office,  but she was quite  informal  with  her  maternal cousin   Hasan  but that was some years ago,  now she had stopped  Atchison calls,   about which he used to complain  to sadan,  , if she  spoke  with Hasan  on friendly  terms as cousins  there was alyan too who was now  working,  

Sadan  became  quite worried  for  aira,  be stayed awake   worried   and tge stress gave him a flue and fever  by the  next morning,  , when aira came to ask him to get ready  for the office  and seeing him still  in bed   touched his forehead  that was burning  , she  asked him  to allow her to take him to the hospital  but he refused 

khushk chashmey..by aira hyder , patna

.....whatever is descended on man whether  its  blessings  or  problems  , all  must  go through eyes

...The good and the bad both types  are born either way naturally 

...when the decent become  distant  they are formal 

The rascally  appear arrogant  

..eyes are the crown of   dignity  so unprotected   glances can damage  it,

....if someone  deliberately  scattered  thorns  on your  straight  path  in life  don't  avenge  by throwing  thorns  under his feet  or the whole world will  become  a massive thorny place 

....giving  priority to the needy above yourself is true charity 

page 21....

....at that time he was sitting in sadan  s office,   sadan was discussing  new winter collection  by aira,  an idea   cropped up in Albany s mind that he shared  with sadan who liked  it very much,, his idea was to  get aira to   design  dresses for  Pakistani women   in the latest  trendy style it would also promote her business,  sadan agreed to speak  with  her on this matter,   , at that  very moment  aira  who was in the office  stepped into tge room and  got flared up on the part of  their   congratulation she had overheard 

page 19....

....when  sadan returned home  rom his satisfying  and  comfortable  trip    aira was already  fast asleep,  perhaps  she  believed it sadan would not  sta annoyed  from her  very long  and it also  turned  out  right,  his mood  had improved  considerably  by itself,   but then it was aira  who  began seeing his face  everywhere  in the office  thinking  he would   never come back,  but he was back in the  company,  now she couldn't even argue with sadan  on the topic,  she was forced to  compromise 

page 19....

....he spent  lots of time in the  Cafe  before  aimlessly  roaming  around  on the  road because  going back to his small room to  be with  someone like  lal   seemed  impossible because  he always  returned  to  the room  drunk,  in that condition he used filthy  language  and always had to     put  cotton  swabs  into his ears to block  out those  dirty pieces but  it was not  practical to stay out whole night just to avoid his  room mate   , stepping into his room  he was pleasantly surprised to see sadan sitting there instead of lal , lal had asked  the guest to sit there and gone away somewhere  a reason  to annoy  Albany but more so he was ashamed to see sadan like  personality  waiting  in that small dirty room 

my living room

from previous...

...he absolutely trusted  sadan y but because he was hurt by  the words of  miss aira he had just overheard  he had decided  not to work  in the  company  where mutual trust was missing,  he held out  the kerchief from his coat pocket  and  put it before  miss aira on the table  and quickly turned to leave the conference room,  both aira and  sadan were left staring  at him leave  in a state of awe, before sadan could  demand an explanation from her she placed the kerchief in her  hand bag,  and  as swiftly  left the  conference room,   sadan was left shocked  staring after her

page 17....

.....how could you do it sadi

How could you  take  a decision  in  the  company  s interest alone  without  discussing it  and that too for someone  who is absolutely unknown to you

! Who is he

Where from

Whether he is reliable or not 

And you made him marketing  manager in fashion icon

Is  he capable of handling  company  s high standards 

page 15....

....she stood before  the  mirror in the washroom  correcting her ordinary  appearance,  she  had bumped  into that stranger  and  lost her hair catcher  somewhere,, she  was 8n a bad mood, , it was ger most favorite  catcher,  it was a birthday gift from Satan last year, , cursing and swearing   she   made a  bun  of her a different hairdo  and came out from the washroom,  On  the office  treatable  her favorite  breakfast was laid, , what a pleasant surprise  it was,  she  sweetly smiled  remembering  sadan who lovingly  took care of all the little things  that matter to  make her happy,  after  the death of her parents  it was sadan  s integrity  that    kept  her alive  and going  strong,  they were just  two of them siblings,  brother and sister,  , sadan was all her family  substitute  of her father  mother  brother  sister  and relatives and friends,  she prided    in his sincere  affections 

from previous...

.....in short  it happened like this  in a small road accident   alyan  s timely help saved  siman Ibrahim  by taking him to the hospital,  , so  when was discharged from the hospital  he showed his gratitude by giving  Alan a job in his  company,  , he was a fashion designer and  the  company was called  fashion icon, , because  Alan was desperate  for a job quickly joined the company,     though  earlier  Alan had refused the offer  because  it was not ethical  to take advantage of helping someone   during  a road accident,  he believed  it was his  duty towards  humanity  to help the needy

yakin ka safar....

.... he loved winters the most  , it attracted him because  of the mist and fog hanging  in the air and   the evenings  are more delightfully  chill, there  are other  seasons   beautiful   but winters were absolutely fantastic  in mood,  he enjoyed this  town for its wonderful  winters  , specially   misty  mornings though  the local residents  opinion differed  from his but  he couldn't help it born in Karachi Pakistan  where   monsoon  and winters  are prayed for,  he was there  on a study  trip,  his grandmother  sgahjahan  beghum  wished he went  abroad for his higher studies,  but unfortunately  before he  could  fulfill her dreams  grandma  left for the heavenly abode,  he was  still  in  his pursuit  of  his goals 

ehsaas.... taranaum saba Ansari kanpur

....who am I 

A star

That shines all night to fade away

But

A cool light

Is emitted 

A blossom 

That lives just once 

To die another day

But

Its fragrance 

Prevails  around 

That sun

That rises everyday 

To set off at dusk

But

A new life hope is left 

A moth

Circling the flame 

Burns to death 

But

Leaving  unforgettable  thirst behind 

No

I am That flame 

That  before the moth

Burns to ashes

But

Leaves a lingering  feel of light thereafter 

diligence kumar...

.....diligence kumar shall be remembered  ages for  his extraordinary  acting , he  is a legend   ,  son of   the century,  , he was short of hitting  a complete  century by just two  years, , his   die hard admirers  include  all top stars of Bollywood  and his faithful fan following  ardently prayed for his long life, his presence  was felt  and his absence  has left a vacuum  that can never filled by  any other celebrity,  , his way of speaking and dialog delivery was remarkable,  his tone,  tongue  pronunciation of dialogs  were very impressive 

page 119....

....shina s heart   began  throbbing  crazily,   more than something  extraordinary was happening there,  she reached them  on a double  quick  march,   but by then naghina had finished her talk and left, 

Suddenly all had  become so quiet,  the heat of arguments  amongst them  had reached  the youngsters,  , the pleasant  air  had turned  to heavy  sorrowful  atmosphere,  

Shina   watched each and every one into his face  intently  but couldn't  muster   enough courage to ask a thing 

Amma and abba stood up to leave  looking very tired,  , shina stood watching them in silence  unable  to stop them for  tea

Whatever  it was  the manner  naghin had  humiliated them in the gathering  was unforgivable  , , tai Amma s voice  quivered  on a high pitch  in suppressed  anger

shaitan ki kamzoriyan...

....muslim brethren and community on meeting each other  exchange  their  salams

..on starting  any new task  they  chant bissmilla

..before  making any intent  they utter insha Allah 

...repenting  is  practised  to cleansing the wrong done by them

....divine blessings are  showered on  mentioning  the names of the divine 

....these are  the things that keep away  the satanic powers  from  destroying   them 

hum na hongey to....

....when I am gone  the whole world shall miss me... this was the last  statement  of  khalid sahib  who laughed and  repeated the   expression,  he would  not only enjoyed a  healthy hearty laugh  but also  made  others   join  in his mirthful  joys,  spontaneity   was personified  in him, ,  today  his memorable  presence  fills one with  sorrow,  he left this mortal world  in July 2018, ,  the  main attribute of the faithful is he  always  remembers  life must end,  his  last wish was to  be  buried next to his parents  and   so there he  rests  

page 101....

.....what did the doctor say

Nothing to worry about,  she was dehydrated,   she collapsed,  , Rebecca and Bella  picked her up and put her in the taxi, 

Then. He sounded  stressed 

She was taken directly to the emergency where drip was given her 

Rebecca turned to Bella to ask where was the medicine shoppers was in Bella  s bag , she opened her bag to take out the medicines 

He worriedly  asked amma if she had eaten something or was hungry 

Amma  explained  the bride had taken care of her and she was full and couldn't eat any more  

But he insisted she must take her medicine 

He  was asked to tally the dose and  amma was to be kept on light  easy to digest foods like  khichdi, fruit and juice and  nothing  else 

page 100....

.... humza returned  from his office to find  a lock  on the  gate,  , he was  not only much surprised  but also  surrounded  iby sheer   unexpectedness of the  situation,   because  if fakhra had to go somewhere  she  always  informed him before leaving  the house,  , he took out his cell phone from his pocket to check  for her call,  , there was no missed call  from  either  of them  nor from  fakhra nor  Rebecca,  ,  pondering  over  where could they have gone he phone  Rebecca,  , on the  second ring she  answered  with instant  query  where was humza , , he  stood  right then  right  before  the locked gate  of their house,  , they were to reach  within a couple of minutes she said,  , he asked  but where exactly were they both  but the phone was disconnected from  the other side,  , he turned to look  towards the end of the street  the direction from where they were to approach  the house 

page 99...

....Bella returned from the college to find  fakhra sleeping  , she got a light jolt of surprise,  it had never happened before that fakhra slept  before her  reaching home from the college,   Bella put aside her wrap and bag and neared  the sleeping woman and called  her amma  but deliriously  dakhra began  mumbling,   ,  worried she held fakhra by her arm and asked her what was the matter,  ,  realizing  amma was in the grip of  high fever   she looked around  and quickly picked up amma  s mobile  , she thought of calling  hamza but unfortunately  the battery was low ,  throwing it  back on the bed cursing she  began calling amma,  pleading  her to get up,  in the  morning she was fine,  but   amma s   delirious  chatter   was  not understood    not a word of it,   she looked  for the charger, , her troubled mind could not sort things out and she  couldn't see the charger, , suddenly  remembering  Rebecca she  ran to her room,  Rebecca was half  reclining   in her bed   busy with her cell phone,   she  was breathless  as she began  to instruct her  to call help quickly  for amma seemed unconscious