from previous...

....jana asked appa  suddenly feeling warm towards her , sge was behaving like a sister  she never had and always longed for,   hiw could she not lose sarmad,  what could she do to prevent  her marriage from breaking up, how could she  stop her family from  disaster,  appa said she can tell if she us ready to listen 

Jana was stunned,  she had believed in herself,  she was faithful,  doing all her duties,  yet appa had seen in her  a weak point  , 

Appa said  the weak point is that you are a wedded wife 

Man is selfish  and expects women to be faithful,  hardworking,  serve him,      bear  his children  , raise them  and  lose her identity  ,  but man always wants more and more,  jana  you even tried to accept and accommodate  appa and others  for his sake  but you  forgot to be a woman in love   and  just got your life entangled around  other   domestic roles

from previous...

.....she heard  shahan cry and got up to ready his feeder , appa stopped her and said she would do it , it was a surprise  for  firstly  appa  spoke her name correctly  in years,  second  appa was offering to help her,  but this was  janan s routine  , appa  had observed her closely  that she hadn't  slept last night,  feeder was ready and shahan  went back to sleeping,  jana  went to the lounge where appa was sitting  with lowered eyes, it was true and shameful  sarmad  was going astray,  jana  had just a few clothes  to pack  and lots of memories  , appa  stopped her from leaving  , appa asked her not to cry  because she was a brave woman,  who didn't lose courage  bringing  her children to the world  , when   gudia was  unconscious  in hospital  both sarmad and appa  prayed and cried  but jana  stayed calm and hopeful 

page 29.....

......jana wasif was  a writer of romantic fiction and  her own marriage was at stake,  how easily  she and children were  to become homeless,   she told him speaking  formally  her self respect was shattered,  her position was  under attack,  he was like a  blacksmith who didn't know tge value of tge diamond he found  so she along  with her  two children was leaving him , sarmad  simply said she could go anywhere she lived  but his children were to stay back,  something  broke  inside her, she was a faithful wife   and physically  they were together living in the same room yet the distance was  stretched out by the invisible woman  whose presence was felt  and sarmad  was  eager to  bring her  , jana  knew  she couldn't  tolerate being separated from her children  and for their sake  she  would  perhaps   accept  another woman 

from previous....

....so you are spying on me

! Sarnad was mad with anger 

She was not answerable  to him

He didn't expect her to change her tone  so he became silent for a moment 

Won't you ask  who is the girl , his  attitude  wasn't at all   of feeling ashamed 

She was courageous but not made of stone 

He sat watching television in a sofa changing the channels  with the remote 

Did she tell  all this to appa

Of course sge did  because  how proud appa was if her brother  s character and sincerity 

Why don't you fight,  shout , scream and  why are you behaving like this 

Because  when  warmth of sincerity 

Gentleness of love 

Character  s purity 

Sincere servitude  to husband  are useless what matters  futile argument 

from previous...

....appa asked her she still was doubting sarmad  , did she have any proof , wife explained she herself had witnessed his  change,  appa didn't  have to go through all that wife was suffering,  appa  s eyes blurred  with deep  emotions, she will never forgive anyone for suspecting her sarmad,  wife forgot her acting and  she produced  the evidence  paper before raging  appa,  appa sunk her head into the paper and took ten minutes to go through it, wife  wished appa were better educated  on the twelfth minute appa lifted ber head helplessly and asked  what was written  there,  wife wanted to smash her head against the wall  and  explained it was sarmad s  past one and half months  telephone records 

page 35....

.....for her   sincerity and trust was meaningful  in the past  now  times had changed and she was pretending to be happy  her  over acting  and out of place  hyper  noisy  laughter surprised  herself  , she was certain  her walls and windows  were shocked  at her  behavior  but every  beginner  learns  the tricks  of the skill and she also  learnt to not over react nor overactive, saima appa   remained as wicked as before not helpful and passing the empty plates of zarda  towards her on tbe table , 

Dear you look so cheerful today 

Of course  appa  your little brother  is father of two  but instead of showing maturity he has shrunk 

from previous...

....she was stunned  into silence when  he  took out a tiny perfume bottle  from the heavy iron safe and poured a long pour  tilting it onto his neck , he asked her not to wait for him for dinner for he was expected to have it at his  friend's place,   he had  never before  worn this perfume  and it was on ber insistence  the so expensive  Mallika nurjahan perfume was bought, he kept it hidden away in the safe   like  a guarded treasure of Mallika   nurjahan s   favorite  floral  garland,  she  would  ask  him  to relax and not be so   hyper  miser with  perfume 

She had to ask the burning question  if he  had made  recently a new friend  because  all his old friends  were known to her and  not  any of them had ever  thrown a party or  shared a plain pakoda with them 

from previous...

....she raided   the privacy of sarmad who she noticed was constantly  active on his phone,  he  became nervous,  he explained  his friend was constantly messaging him  , there was a night program  at his place  all the  friends were  invited,  it was to be a fun gathering,  his voice  carried weight  so she  kept quiet  but his drained out colour   made her doubt his  actions,  she sighed deeply  looking into  the mirror  sometimes   shade  burns more than  the damage  done by the sun, what did she lack that he desired someone else 

page twenty one

....life was moving on , after winding up  all household stuff  at night she needed  an extra hour or so just to herself because  all day long  working  around  her head was kept  busy  manufacturing  fantastic  tales  she  gad to   transfer onto the paper during those over hyper busy days and nights  she realized  something was not  right, though  outwardly  all appeared fine  but   sarmad had  changed,  she couldn't express  herself  and the change she saw in him  , he was providing  them all ,  he lived with them  yet she felt  he was distant,  as if he was worried  and hiding  something from her  but what was the secret  she could not  find out,  but there was definitely something  and she decided to get to the bottom of it 

from previous....

....she looked at the chicken chops , they were done for sure because they were absolutely black  , she proudly served the African chicken shops,  sarmad had eaten it at his friend's house  whose wife was an African,  they tried to find meat pieces  but all that  that was there was coal , husband was embarrassed,  the name of the dish was asked  and she said she forgot tge original  aborigines  name but the meaning was still clear  and thinking fast she said  it was Kala shah Kala  chicken,  their hands and faces were all blackened by now 

from previous....

....wife was miserable,  two  children  to raise  and appa constantly  bullying her , saima appa was horrible  and  husband  was demanding  different  varieties of dishes,  sometimes  Chinese  other times  native flavors, Italian to African,  it all depended only on his mood what he wa, nted to eat one  day he ordered her to cook African,  quickly she opened the freezer and  took out cleaned up   pieces  she quickly  added to  the   hot oil in a pan and  sat down  to write  a  romantic story,  few minutes later she got up to check the dish , the pan was covered with a lid, she tossed and flipped the pieces,  they were still not done, she returned to her seat to complete a few more romantic scenes  of her story 

from previous....

....every time  she planned an outing with  sartaj junior to apppa who was accepted as the senior of their family system would stop wife from  going with him and instead went out herself,  one time wife asked her to  go everywhere with her own husband  because  that looked  more dignified and love developed between  the couples,  appa was proud to have a husband who was so attentive to appa and  was ready to spend his  all on her, wife was surprised  because she never saw bhaiaan  as she called bhai jan  appa s husband  ever spend a penny on anyone, he looked like a punjabi movie hero  turned   Hollywood villain,  that time also  like an old generation  woman  she was expected to hand wash clothes and not allowed to use the washing machine,  when sartaj returned  appa  was gone within  seconds  without seeing wife, sartaj  was holding a box she snatched,  it contained  a piece of leftover pizza bread  sour and  puffed  up , the bill fell out , she swore  inaudibly  ,they had ordered four pizzas  that  was for certain  appa took  them home to share with  her family 

from previous....

....every time  sge got ready to go out  shopping  with  husband  appa ordered her to stay home  and cook something  special  that  was laboriius  , showing  surprise  on  her  dress up as if she was seeing a ghost,   what will she  do in the  market,  every one knows   women  enjoy  dressing up to be admired   and tgey love  shopping  naturally  she didn't  get ready  to go out with husband  to sit  for  an examination appa  would  decisively  remind  her just  a couple of days ago  she gad been  shopping  now  it was her turn  to do the washing  , appa liked to one by one count all the items  last time  she had bought   with their price  tags,  sarmdtaj   stood mute witness scowling  at  her spendthrift  nature,  he would steal  his glances  when wife asked  appa  how did  she know all the details of her shopping  when appa was not with her nor did she share her details with her nor did she show her any of her shoppers 

from previous...

....appa would ask  if she had given  shaman his feeder such little   things  made ger  even more  irritable  but she  tried  to calm herself  while answering  sge had but without  asking  appa  , if on phone  she  had taken permission  would  have  been  better , argued the women , wife said  she didn't  want  to  disturb  appa  

Appa  decided  what  was going to be on the  dinner table  , what all dishes and how many  and followed by which dessert  for instance  mutton  biryani  and sweet semolina milk   pudding  

page 17....

....is that what you call a home

 Appa gad  asked  that early morning  in such a manner that she also  began   doubting  it  and  would rather  say it was a torture cell

She asked appa if she had made a mistake  and annoyed her or had she lost her memory and   started  thinking  their home was not home but a torture cell, wife knew  what was the level of appa  s qualifications and did not bother to  explain the torture cell in urdu for appa s benefit

Appa sarcastically  said  instead of becoming a writer  she must  work more on being a true housewife 

from previous....

....sarmad s younger sister lived  there so when appa was sent on the hajj wife was overwhelmed with glee,  wife had begun to  mislead appa to  stay up all night and get an 3xtra hour of that pleasant sleep early morning  but appa was always there early  activating the household  not allowing anyone  an extra wink  of  sleep,  when appa was gone  wicked ideas popped up in wife s mind , she  spoke to sarmad  not directly  but in spiral round about way expressing  how fortunate are those who have a chance to go on tbe hajj and never return  , hinting let appa  never return  , but sarmad reacted absolutely differently,  he promised  he will definitely take wife with him on the hajj but return home alone 

Wife asked  almighty in her heart to forgive her for her crookedness

She had seen sarmad s  wishes were always fulfilled 

She was terrified 

from previous...

....that was the first and the last time  that decided  appa was going to  be the reining queen of the family  , family rules were relaxed at night  to be reinforced early next morning when  appa would appear to remind her of them,  in tge beginning  they were just two of them,  sometimes she wanted to tell appa why not write down all the rules  she must follow on a piece of paper she will hide in her shoes,  when asked she could repeat  the rules  , a little cheating  could help her , she felt appa was just another unpaid  maid  training her to become  like her, she couldn't sing or hum for the same reason  of rules that didn't allow  women folk in the house spoke or sang  loud , voices must be kept low

from previous....

....she looked at appa admiringly for her uncanny skills and brains that worked overtime  except  in studies,  her husband  scowled at wife for  giving those looks of tge wild cat waiting under the the tree patiently  yet ready to pounce on the  chick  that  can fall down from the coziness of the nest carelessly,  she  wasn't guilty  but  wished her husband didn't  treat her like  that believing she was the cat and appa an innocent  chicken, his eyes were   aggressively  ready to attack any verbal  volley of fire protective of appa,   so she quickly changed her warring strategy and asked sweetly  if appa would kindly  teach her all the family systems and methods  so she could  fit in

from previous...

....husband left excusing himself for already being late for work,  she too playfully  saw him off upto the main gate and turned  rolling with laughter holding on to  her belly,   shaking  with  hearty mirth patting herself  for being such a good actress  

Her best friend  her cousin  was appa s class fellow and told her  before she was married off  that  in her class  there was a  student who  was named  Ms nono for shaking and rejecting  all ideas, for the board exams  all students were lined up by tahira madam and  who  thoroughly searched   each and every one  snatching   all tbe pieces of papers stowed away in different  corners of tgeir uniforms,  it was there  English paper that day and all tbe girls began writing their answers except Ms nono , tge supervisor asked why was she not doing her exam,  Ms nono said  blankly  she didn't remember a thing 

The supervisor  asked her to at least  write down her roll number and name  or had she  forgotten that too

Ms nono  said her name was so long    Yasmin  Ahmed mahi  aldin paracha it was hard to remember it so she had scribbled it on a piece of paper that tahira madam took away from her shoes 

page 14...

....showing his  interest in her creative writing  he asked sipping his tea if anything new was published,  any new novel 

She also was certain  he couldn't  tell the difference between a short story,  micro fiction and a novel and  poetry but he would not reveal his shortcoming, she  was actively  an avid writer but wasn't getting enough time because of her household  chores  daily routine and rounds to appa s  , she stopped mid way seeing  his  eyes dried up of all love and warmth  ,  then she added  what else   could poor appa do besides domestic work , she  will never  be a writer  for her little  literary  experience  such women folk usually  turn  social  informers  gathering  pieces of information from  every where and then passing it on   the only way they can  spend their  time 

She could not  call  her husband's  sister  directly an  illiterate fool so she tried to wrap around  her words 

He explained  appa left her studies  to full time give her attention to their dying mother  , appa was a brilliant student  and gave up her last two   board exams   

Curious she asked what exactly happened  so she gave  up  

from previous....

.....her mouth didn't  close for several days and remained open painfully,  it was then  that she realized  what all, terrible  procedures  women  go through willingly  just to appear  attractive,  perfect specimen  of beauty  is in hot  spicy  appearance 

The secret of keeping  husband  s breakfast parathas slightly uncovered   was to  release the  extra heat from them to prove  herself  on time  punctual   and him  feel  guilty for  getting up late 

page 12....

....singing off tune  early morning  and readying  the meal  was ger personal way to punish herself  , unpleasant singing  to her ears  to  punish herself  for  not hearing the alarm  ring,  first of all she woke  up her husband  he was kate and  by tge time  guiltily he would  get up and get ready she would have fixed his breakfast  on the table  with a slightly  flirty  look , by turning just a corner of tge napkins covering the food  in an inviting  enticing  manner like tge actresses  who get their lips  treated to look more tempting  and thick when pouted,  she had  never  got her own facial done but once what happened was she cleaned up the  terrace and was coming downstairs  and a hidden wasp stung her on the cheek,  she was laid  down  for a week  with a swollen  like  a watermelon face that was not at all attractive  

from previous....

....saima continued   within  quarter of an hour she was fed up and decided to return home,  so she  was back  but kasho f had something  important to say must visit her because it was not possible to talk  freely  in abba  s presence 

And what about does kasho want to talk 

Perhaps  she wants to lighten up her heart , discuss  her problems,  saima  reclined  in her cot,   whole day  had proved  quite tiring ,  exhaustion  took over her, her tone  lost its excitedness and replaced by slumber 

Hamid  coughed  loudly  trying to  focus on his mobile  when suddenly  saima  opened her eyes and asked if for abid a suitable  bride was found or not

Not yet

What about kasho for abid

page 213...

.....saima  finishing her  house chores  before dusk fell  opened  a thread of conversation with her husband that it was after  very long time  they  had the opportunity to visit  abba mian, 

Husband stopped the news video he was watching on his mobile phone and turned to ask then  what happened 

She smiled,  she  loved  this habit  of her husband  very much  of showing  full attentiveness  to her

Nothing new, the same old routine  she explained,  all the old newspapers  were  pulled out from everywhere  and  getting them  neatly arranged,  there was a power cut  and   poor  kasho was   sweating profusely  but reading the dates on the newspapers  to find out which one to be placed next 

khushbudar dawa...

...mehndi in urdu

Henna in Arabic and persian is lawsania in English 

Henna is used for centuries  by the Egyptians,  Greek  and hindus and Buddhists  for its medicinal  fragrance  and cooling   down  body temperature,  coloring  things  and burning the leaves for therapeutical  benefits 

The royals were buried  with  Henna  painted on their hands and nails to highlight them 

This fragrant  leafy product  is the king of all fragrances  , , fabrics were dyed to give them rich fragrant  colour 

Damascus  painted  very fine materials in Henna 

Only the  royalty had the right  to apply  mehndi and then with time  it became  viral and eagerly accepted by the masses

page 100...

.....ammi where is the moon,  asked Salomi from the t v lounge 

Go upstairs and look  at tge sky must be there said ammi engrossed in the  news  , she wasn't actually asking about the real moon but shairaz  her tone was irritated   she hadn't seen   Waxahachie sitting in the sofa on the left,  saima beghum  explained  he was gone  long  time , Salomi  became  angry    how could he leave without  informing her, , ammi explained he gad to distribute   nayaz in many more households 

Waxahachie looked at her and spoke meaningfully  shairaz was not Waxahachie who was stuck in just one  household  but shairaz had to  go roaming other families 

page 99...

.....entering the room  ghanomi  spoke to salomi  she was in there in the room and that man was come to stay  , salomi asked  shuttling her diary  who was she speaking of, , ghanomi teased  he was love is another name of deception,  sge  drew the curtains a little aside,  ghanomi was smiling  but salomi looked confused,  ghanomi explained  he was sajda aunty s son , wonderful  grand majestic,  salomi got irritable  was she  expected to  sing his praises , ghanomi argued  he was  seemingly interested in her,   salomi began checking messages on her mobile  ignoring  her sister  and her comments,  ghanomi declared she was  always with the poor helpless,   salomi  retorted why didn't she support herself  she was also  a  poor helpless,  ghanomi embarrassed replied she wasn't  a helpless person  but  innocent,  salomi explained  everyone  so called innocent  were cruel  because  they  create problems 

page 97...

.....abbu on the phone  told  Salomi   he had forgotten to  inform them  his old college time friend  sayyad raza  was sending his son   on business  so abbu  for old time  s sake asked him  to stay  with them home  instead of staying in a hotel,  now  she must welcome  the guest home  and  take care of extending  hospitality and cook  good meal  and clean up the guest room  by then abbu will be back,  she  hung up saying  Allah  hafiz,  she turned to see Waxahachie starting  his car, sge opened the gate and asked him to drive in, he  questioned if she had confirmed  the  story,  she too argued  how could she have invited him in  without confirming,  he said  that was a good thing  she got  things confirmed  but she too must not venture  anywhere without permission  , just incase she was detained from  going back  what would she do,  , his etes and tone were meaningful 

She explained she never goes anywhere  unknown  , he must now  make himself  comfortable and  wait for abbu,  quickly she entered tbe vicinity  , he followed her into the drawing room,  she turned on the ,lights and  the room conditioner,  she informed saima beghum who came to sit with the guest as Salomi  stepped into the kitchen 

page 97....

.....ok , he said,  can I come in and stand  in  the shade,  the sun is burning,  , Waxahachie sought permission  looking at tge ethereal  beauty  the girl Salomi 

She argued sun was burning  so what , he was not made of wax  and melt  away,  he was a stranger anyway  and wouldn't allow it,  frowning  she explained  she needed  confirmation of  his identity,  the man  had a hard time  suppressing his  smile and asked her to first  speak with iftekhar uncle 

She again scowled  just a minute ago he addressed iftakhar as sahib now he was uncleof his,  this was too much that people  were  overclever and  quickly  spun off new relatives 

She quickly  punched abbu  s number,  tge unwanted uninvited guest walked back to his car laughing and sat inside  in air conditioned car , the route  from Islamabad to Lahore had suddenly become  quite hot,  the difference of temperature from  a c to the burning  sun was shocking 

Page 97...

....the doorbell was constantly  ringing  incessantly noisily,  ganomi was in the  bathroom,  saima beghum  offering izahar namaz, Salomi was cooking,  iftakhar was in the university,  finally  Salomi had to go to  the door to check who was there,  through the door viewer she saw a man standing waiting just outside the door,  she asked  loudly who was he, 

He explained he was Waxahachie  sayyad from Islamabad come to meet iftakhar sahib,  the visitor  told the reason  why he was there along with  his introduction,  salomi hesitated just a long moment  before  opening the door to the stranger,  

He greeted her looking at her face, 

She responded  looking at the huge luxury car 

Father wasat this hour in the university 

page 95...

.....ghanomi said if salomi was finished with her  odes to love they had some cooking to do or was she planning to serve  them all love stories,  , denying  the charges imposed on her  salomi hid the diary away under her pillow and got out from her cot, saima beghum  asked them to hurry up and reach downstairs,  salomi grumbled  they were destined  to  spend lives in the kitchen  and not taste the sweet  fruit of love,  ghanomi sympathized and  encouraged her that one day soon it will happen  but for now who was to knead the dough,   , it was decided  salomi will do the task and ghanomi  was to prepare  other dishes,  , salomi like a wrestler  turned up her sleeves , both entered the kitchen smiling 

page 94....

....ghanomi asked  Salomi  if angel of death arrived and  declared  he was  in love with her would she   choose to go with him 

Of course said  Salomi 

Are you mad, that would be  embracing  death not love,   its  deception,  she doubted  her mental  condition  

Love is  merely another name for deception 

Who does not desire it

Holding on to  love 

Walking about together 

Arranging  love  meetings 

Comparing the moon s glow

Declaring the beloved  s beauty above 

Who won't like to be admired 

Love is just another name for deception 

Salomi  impromptu  created a poem on the theme,  ghanomi smiled shaking her head because  before this  tge posters was blackening the pages  unable to express in the ode, argued  ghanomi if love was deception why should one expect to be in love and accept  love 

from previous....

....people talk  and it was true  sara was wealthy and could buy anything  but love is not  a commodity  that is   bought or sold,  it is not displayed in  shop windows   , not demonstrated  how  to use it and encourage  buyers to carry  it away home   because love is a blessing  for the blessed   its a priceless  treasure  that  is specially  created for tge special  to silently descend in their souls in special moments, ordinary are the loveless ones who never  find love  all their life 

from previous...

....why are you so worried about  your fiance Yasser

Because he wants to be  a  politician like his father and  forefathers,  a typical  politician  taking  politics  and getting rid of his opponents and rivals,  , if he can't     get  rid of them he wants them dead, , 

Salomi asked  was that his  love  or politics 

Ghanomi explained  now look at sara for instance  is neither  dead nor  alive,  she is thrown   away like a disposable  , treated  like  a throwaway  but people think she leads a marvelous lifestyle of a wealthy  daughter of a wealthy father  , envious  she can buy everything she  wants,  sara was  ghanomi s friend 

page 93...

.....shut up 

 Why shut up

Because said salomi with such a long sad face  of  ghanomi it was impossible to think poetry,  she suggested  her sad long face  was diverting her from  creativity   she must  instead  be praying  with that expression  so that almighty   the merciful  shower His blessings on her, 

Ghanomi reluctantly explained  she was worried  for her fiance yasser

page 93.....

....curse is love  attachment  affection  and  like

To  absorb   emotions  in life 

Attractive are these  as weapons 

Scratches in hands 

Boils  on the feet 

Tears in eyes 

 Pain in heart 

Attentively heard from the depths of the soul 

Offered in prayers 

If  remained unfulfilled  longing 

Ready is  grave dug of soil 

Salomi  stopped writing her creative poetry in her diary,  opposite her sat anomi two years older sister facing her pondering  on the thought content  of her poetic  theme 

from previous....

....just a smile  on the the defeated fallen  victim  steals the pleasure out from the winner of his success 

Falling down is an accident 

Staying down is a choice 

Be what you are

Or become  what you pretend to be 

page 87.....

.....a robber was  presented before the court of the hazrat, after investigation   the hazrat found the accused guilty and  gave orders to cut off his hands,  the robber pleaded  guilty and vowed  he would never  again   steal anything,  it was his first and final  attempt,  the hazrat  said  it wasn't his first and final  robbery,  he had been for a long time  robbing others,tge robber was surprised,  that was the truth,  the hazrat couldn't have possibly known that  because  it was  just between  the robber and  his  almighty,  the hazrat  explained  almighty  punishes tge guilty by humiliating him when he crosses  the limits 

page 81....

....there  we are positioned  from where we too

Get  to know  nothing  about  us

--- Vintage thought

...is it  so important  we stay informed 

Information is also  a  curse

New style  thought 

from previous....

.....saira was waiting for darmaknoon  downstairs,  slowly  all that  saira  needed was brought  out and piled up before her , saura finally   announced  she was thankful  for  all her things  were there,  on time she got them before her for the function,  she was unnecessarily  getting upset,  , she was calmed  down now,   both smiled, , saura suggested  darmaknoon    could also get ready properly for the occasion  , her makeup and jewelry and  presence  should  equal  zoha s and zara s, saira wanted to see her well dressed and well groomed, 

page 74....

Darmaknoon  said akram  busily  that  aunt  was calling her downstairs,  she awkwardly  threw a glance at him,   she answered she was  occupied,  he  explained her work  can be  carried out by azgari and she was needed  downstairs,  , there was something  to be done  8n her presence,  , he ordered her to go find aunty, , he had snubbed her , like a blind   who wanted  eyes  her wish was fulfilled  and she escaped from her cage , giving  a hateful  glance to izhar sahib she  walked  off at fast pace towards the stairs,  akram courteously  informed aji bhai  azgari will  be there to press his clothes  and called   azgari  quickly,  , izhaar sahib  shaking his head annoyed  walked away 

page 73....

....there was a  noisy  bustling around tge house for the function  at night,   darmaknoon  was spinning about crazy  unable   simply to catch the point  why so much chaos when  the function was fixed long time ago and preparations were  started then , she couldn't sleep  last night and the  previous one  , everytime the phone bell rang she was startled  hoping against all hope  it was not  zavyar, , stealing her gaze from akram , but he  met her everytime  normally  as if nothing  had happened  but  she was worried  and  so many secrets  were buried in her throbbing  heart,  praying nobody  gad heard zavtar Ansari s voice  speaking to her specifically  akram , probably  zavyar put off the receiver  himself  or perhaps  akram  thought it was just a wrong number  , most probably  akram didn't recognize  zavyar s voice,  she was constantly arguing and debating with herself  presenting and then rejecting  her each new point 

from previous....

.....darmaknoon  on the phone  requested  Annie not to  stay silent  , not get annoyed,  the voice rose from the other side  calling out her name  from the  depths of the heart full of pathos, it was zavyar, she  froze,  he was explaining  how he felt guilty  about  them , if she supported him and held his hand for life  he would  feel blessed  and feel better, his  words brought tears to her eyes, her eyes were flooded  with emotions as akram  opened the door to walk in, he had forgotten his car keys, seeing her crying on the phone  he  came closer to stand  by her asking 8n sign language what happened,  she was blinded  by her own  flood of emotions  and couldn't see akram who thought  some accident   had occurred  snatched the receiver from her hands to hear zavyar , akram  knew he was in the wrong place  at the wrong time,  unintentionally  but he silently  put the receiver back and hung up

page 69....

.....darmaknoon sat looking after akram  s book he had left on the table  leaving the room,  he was answering the phone  , someone was asking  for  her ,  she was listening one sided telephonic conversation  when  akram pushed the cordless  phone  towards her saying it was for her from some  annie,  he left her to speak  in privacy,  she waited for  him to disappear  , Annie was enthusiastic  but equally  annoyed  for her  not being  present  on the  occasion,  she had expected her to come  with zara bhabhi, sulking  she   explained it was real  fun, her tone  was  expressing  her happiness,  if only  darmaknoon  was present  she would see for herself   in years  zari bhabhi of Ansari family had come 

page 68....

.....mahu was  busy on the phone  and seeing grandma  approach she quickly  called off the phone and  greeting  the dadi came  closer to her, grandma asked  affectionately  after  her well-being and  commented  she was late to return,    her tone  showed  concern,   mahu explained  she  wanted to return earlier but aunty was not letting her go,  she began  giving   lame excuses,  grandma  hugged her warmly  smiling,, tahira was  absolutely right  what a lovely   girl  she was  and who will  not want to  spend more time with  such  a pleasant person,  Tahira always  wanted to have a  girl,  both  Tahira and shagufta  prayed for  daughters  but  almighty   bestowed  sons  to them,  tahira lost twice  her young girls,  it was a revelation  , grandma  swallowed  her shame,  akram  emerged from his room,  he had overheard  their  conversation  and  said  tari aunty  was  that way,  she never  liked  discussing her problems 

from previous.....

..... it was on their first  one to one  close  meeting   when she revealed  ger all about herself,  about her life,  past , about her son, daughter in law  and grandsons,  ,gossiping  together they  not only cooked  but   also   looked at the old photographs,  in the  pictures  a big volume  was  occupied by akrama and shagufta beghum,   . She  came to know how important  akrama was for her and she to  akrama,  it was because  explained  tahira  that  shagufta  beghum  was not just  her friend but  foster sister , as  luck would have it both were  only  child  of their  family  ,  both had no daughter   coincidentally  tge year  her father  passed away  tahira also  lost her parents 

page 67.....

....tahira  bano quite informally  asked placing  the cake before  her if it was tasty,  tge tea was hot and steaming,  darmaknoon smiled   the cake was delicious,, tahira thanked her for liking it,  even   nadir liked her bakes,  , when  he was small  he picked up fights  with  akrama,   zara and  zoha  for his  possessive  nature,  , sipping her tea  she reminisced  fondingly,  , her  emotional burst was silent  , now  nadir was altogether a different  better  person after he got married  yet he sulks if his children  are shown more  affection  , perhaps it's   applicable  on all only  child  of the  family  raised lovingly  and  spoiling the only child  pampering him 

banana....

.....banana is the only  fruit  that  all cultures  communities  and continents  recognize and are very familiar with,  banana is found all the year round and easily available  unlike  other fruits that need  proper  careful  cultivation  and    storage facilities  off season 

Banana is easy to digest  and  has many benefits  one  of them is using its pulp regularly  to  get the  lost  glow back on the face 

fruit for rejuvenation....

.....come summer and  south asia sizzles,  its exhausting  and fatigue  is descended   specially  women folk feel   depressed  , loss of energy  and loss of  glow, both can be quickly recovered  from  seasonal fruits locally available,  eat the fruit for  energy and  apply a bit of left over skin of the juice fruit on the sunburnt  affected areas 

page 79...

......watermelon is a  rich  source of  phosphorus,  iron and  vitamin c   use of one spoonful  mashed pulp  of it on the face  helps soften  up the skin

 Melon is full of calcium  and vitamin e, mashed pulp of it mixed with  cucumber juice  makes a nice face  rub

Papaya  is vitamin a based that  lends it the beautiful   peach co, papanin  component  found in it  is more  wonderful  than  makes beauty products 

Mera sara zang utar do...

.....whose phone was that  asked mypuzafar seeing his amma    hang up ,  akrama also turned  to look  questioningly  at amma,  saif was doing  homework exercises  , it was tahira  wanting  permission to take zarmaqnoon with her,  she meant to come in but met zarmaqnoon outside  in tbe lawn  who refused to go anywhere without  their permission,  amma s face showed quite expressively  her deep feelings,  muzafar smiled,  tahira was a psychiatrist  and would  definitely   give  zarmaqnoon  good  emotional and personal  care she needed,  it was   hope  giving  happening,  ,   from zoha medical file  was handed over to tahira ,  both akrama and   muzafar  breathed a sigh of relief 

from previous....

....both had together   come  to their  parents  house  after a long time,  , father's  joy was overflowing,  both  sisters were  missing their mother   , it seemed they were not  relatives but  strangers  ,  yet they were grateful to almighty to be   marred  to really  good spouses,  jugnu  held ger twins  in her lap, abbu was  haa nice  time in young home with his group  , or he would not have  been able to  recover  ammi s demise,  , they  made a heartfelt  dua  for abbu   to live long,  , a few minutes later she was at khala  s side  who was quiet  because of her illness and become  quite weak,  her face  covered with wrinkles  and eyes  filled with  hopelessness 

from previous....

....learn to control your tongue  its the most dangerous  weapon  given you from nature 

......he who  learns to overcome patiently  his  sorrow  has learnt the trick to live  

....knowledge is that  treasure  hidden away  locked in a box without a key  without practice 

.....he who  is dishonest in his  work  is put to shame 

.....almighty  chooses  to bless the  true faithful  follower 

wisdom....

.....the scorching sun of  sorrow  sinks  amidst  the cool clouds of joy

....dark looming shadows  of injustice   are quickly removed when the light of justice  dawns 

.....constantly  trying  is next to success,  doing good  and  not  taking credit for  it doubles the  credit 

....for the  courageous  problems are merely  temporary obstacles  

.....a true friend is sincerely  overwhelmed  to find his friends  happy