from previous...

....us lady Halden  present 

It was heard she was  going  abroad 

Is Charlotte  present 

So you know her too, she is supposed to be in London 

Antonia hesitated   could she ask sheldon to go back home to check on Halden 

It wasn't possible,  she had erred  she asked for forgiveness,  she had a fertile imagination of a writer and  she found  her imagination running  awry,  Antonia changed the topic on tbe cruel  laughter,  , there was a need to  question her  if she was ready  for that,  was it odd that her pair of glasses were  in the same place she had left 

Was it supposed to be a joke of some kind 

Antonia  gestured towards  pine and the phone was put on the speaker 

She was  feeling  upset about it  ,she didn't know how it all happened,  she usually keeps her glasses in the bedside drawer but it's gone missing,  her paper knife and brooch also are not found,  she is worried  what mischief  

spirits are making,  how did you guess her glasses were missing 

What were you doing  in saggragan 

Well it's a most beautiful place  to enjoy solitude  and  nice location with bungalows available on rent,  she browsed lady Halden  site of last year  and reached the spot,  she found it perfect for her creative writings 

Is that  somehow  related to your  childhood  

Not at all

Do you know lady Halden 

Yes, I v  met her once,  what a pleasant and kind person she is and if you are asking we ever have met before  so the answer is no 

Aren't you forgetting something 

There is nothing to forget about it 

Are you an orphan 

No, my parents are still alive 

Is Charlotte sheldon your friend and you two lived together 

Do you know her too, of course we are good friends 

Does she believe her step mother is old fashioned woman 

Right, but who told you that 

Lady Halden did not like it, she still looks young and attractive  nit at all old fashioned,  she took out a knife  to attack her step mother,  sorry but I v nothing to do with it, their  argument  had a bad impression on the employees and divided in two groups 

Does Charlotte have a key to your house 

She could get one made easily  but why do you ask she is daughter of the owner 

page 27,..

....sikander  spoke to  sultan  he again swathe dream  the pair of eyes  speaking in a voice  alerting him  , the matter was getting more and more mysterious  , he was sure  saira s life was in danger,  the first dream proved true,  in the morning  sikander was to reach  sultan  s place  to discuss it over  the breakfast table,  the time was fixed for seven  but it was still  four hours or more to go and what if something  expected or unexpected happened meantime,  in that case he must  ring up saira and  enquire after her well being,  , sikander  quickly  disconnected the call  with sultan  and promised to call him back after talking to saira 

After  a couple of rings  saira received the call  in a heavy   sleepy voice  he thought normally  it happened when someone  was woken up from middle episodes, ger tone was surprised  it was sikander  at that odd hour  phoning her, , he asked her to take a day  s leave from the bank tomorrow and he would come to pick her up he wanted to discuss  something urgent 

Sge could five minutes later call up shella  but  he must first  explain it to her himself,  saura was confused  and he will  clear it all her worries in the morning,  she must save his number  and not answer any unknown number,  hanging up he quickly phoned shella who was surprised  at his call,  he quickly explained saira  s life was in danger  and  in the  morning she was to inform the bank  saira was not well and  shella was attending  on her so would  reach  late, all was settled for now and  sikander    remained  awake all night and in the morning reached  sultan  s house 

page 37...

....morning breakfast table was silent,  yes, Suleman bhai had  earlier  said would be going to see Fatima in the hospital,  after all she was madiha  s friend and  she had nobody   in the  town  she could  turn to , no relatives no knowns  , it was now their duty to take care of her and console her father  that she wasn't alone,  he was speaking to madiha but looking at mamma,  ashman already  had left,  he never liked waiting  when he was decided,  Suleman bhai was extremely  straightforward   and never hesitated  speaking up his  mind frankly,  he thought she too must  go along  to  see Fatima 

Nazya ran towards  madiha  and they hugged each other,  Fatima was gone,  the girl with  a pair of brilliant etes gad left them,  unbelievable  , Fatima couldn't have died  without fulfilling her dreams  her aspirations  of becoming  a  neurosurgeon 

page 34..

....one of   them desperately tried to  shut the door after them,  someone pushed him  aside  , he crashed  down on the floor,   another man rushed inside,  at that very moment  lights  turned on, the three  masked men were followed by sikander,  , one of the masked men held kalashnikof in his hand,  the other two  were unarmed,  , Sheila and  saira stood up,  both were horrified to witness  the  happenings  around,  sikander quickly reached the girls , the fallen  man  got up from the floor to again try  shut the door but a revolver  appeared from nowhere to poke him directly in his chest,   the masked men were trapped  , one of them screamed  it was long game and saira was to be  killed,  the new four  men opened fire  on the man  who had started a burst of kalashnikof, sikander  tried to shield saira protectively,  the injured man couldn't  take a stable  aim and several  bullets  sunk into  sikander  s body  guarding her, , the four  revolvered  men  also showered  bullets m the three masked men  collapsed,  saira  watched dumbfounded  not realizing  a bullet had brushed past her rubbing her shoulder,  grazing her flesh  to bleed,  Sheila  screaming  fell over injured  sikander meanwhile  all the guards on duty surrounded the scene,  the four attackers dropped their  weapons  and put their hands up surrendering,  one  of them said they belonged to Eastern secure firm

page 35..

...before she could say something  a boy approached   the   v c was calling  Fatima   to his office,  her face turned pale,  she  tightly clutched   madiha  s hands,  it was certain  the v c had  been informed  of the  latest  , she must tell the truth  whole truth,  , zainub who was standing nearby  encouraged her, , zainub in fact  came with her up to the office,  sge looked  at madiha  tears in her eyes,  she didn't know it when was he picture taken,  had she known  she would not have  come to the university,  instead  she would have pleaded  with abba to take her to the village and bury her there alive somewhere,  friends around her patted her quiet,  Fatima  had tried so many times to contact  madiha on the phone  last Sunday  to share with her what all had happened in her  life,  but they were away   at their  grandparents house,  today  Fatima was  stopped by appa  but  Fatima was adamant   to  meet  madiha,  quickly turning  she  asked  for permission before entering tge office, Fatima was inside  definitely  being rebuked  as ger friends waiting  outside  for her, ashman and aziz also joined the waiting group,  , each one of them was  worried  for her sake,  what  was going to happen,  will she be  suspended from the university,   minutes later she emerged  looking  ghastly white  like an apparition 

page 33

 In the evening  when the  bank was closed  came in Sheila   to see saira in her cabin, it was time to go home,  just one minute more  saura needed to keep the files properly,  Sheila  casually  remarked  though she had come to office but couldn't focus at all in her work  , surprisingly  saura was a focused  worker,  

Saira believed  in working  honestly  it was their  ethical and professional duty, by not doing one's work  destiny  couldn't be changed,  perhaps  because of mental worries Sheila  couldn't  concentrate  but saura the moment  took  her seat   she dutifully  turned  to sincerely  performing  her tasks  and  she  never was diverted  or distracted  , her first and foremost attempt is to shake off all other   sentiments  while  doing her job, walking  towards the door saura and Sheila  couldn't talk freely because there were men around,  they had so many  unsolved matters to talk about  for instance  sikander,  the situation the three of them were in, the car started  and with it they began talking about sikander  , he was tbe main character  of the story in both their life 

page 23...

....ashman was a brilliant student  but turned wicked  thinking  negative overtime  against  Fatima who  was outshining and outstanding  , in fact  it was Fatima who pointed out his capabilities were wasted because his focus was off the goals,  madiha discussed about the matter with him but he for first three years was not the topper but in the fourth year  a tremendous change in attitude was seen and he was also seen speaking normally  like others with Fatima  and  he surprised everyone  except Fatima by holding the top position,  Fatima  s eyes remained bright  as before as she cheerfully  congratulated him  and khawar  rightfully demanded a treat  it was  after all  khawar  choicest topic 

Madiha observed  ashman watched Fatima more often and there was something  like admiration in his eyes  in the fourth year,  Madiha  liked tge idea because they both were  likeable and compatible and she liked them both 

page 21..

....tge whole group of students  demanded a treat  from Fatima  except ashman and madiha,  he because  of etiquettes and she because  of her poor financial  status but she had agreed to give  them all a treat whenever and  whenever  they wanted it,  after her it was ashman  s turn  to give  a treat for bringing  such an excellent  percentage,  khawar proposed and all others seconded it, , all those who obtained  good report cards  must  celebrate by partying,  it was certain  ashman will never  throw a party , instead he was slowly fuming within,  wasn't he a miser, khawar was rather surprised when  suddenly  ashman got up  shrugging and left the group,  others were  telling Fatima  what all should she order for them 

page 23..

....it was past midnight,  sikander  woke up from his   sleep and began strolling,  his  whole body was tingling,  this tingling sensation  was   more felt in his  feet so he sat down in the rocking chair  where  he usually  liked reading,  his entire body  was experiencing   this  weird sensation  as an after affect of a dream  that  shook him awake 

He saw a pair of huge eyes  speaking to him  that he was  madly in love with saira  though  reluctant to admit it,  wasn't it so,  sikander  felt  he was silently agreeing to it, the voice  again spoke  to him  in that case  he can't  witness her being  killed , he could  lose his mind , so most important for him now was to save her from getting killed  at all costs,  no need to ask who wants her dead, just think  if how can you  save her, get up now and  think of a plan,  the tone  of the  voice changed  as if giving instructions 

Sikander then got up,  his tingling  subsided  after a while,  he pondered over  his dream,  this type of a premonition  dream he had seen once before  he had met  saira,  , his  mind echoed with a voice to see  those red  pair of eyes,  those eyes talked,  

The bank where you have an account works a woman  whose name is saira nazim, she us the assistant manager there,  meet her and come closer to her, she will appreciate your company  emotionally  disturbed as she is, the  speaking eyes  asked him to listen carefully again,  having repeated tge instructions the voice and the red pair of eyes all disappeared in the darkness 

from previous..

...ashman and madiha left mamma at nanu s and after a while  came back home,  he made fun of her for  making friends with  Fatima  type  plain looking village  lass  whose  demeanor  was so backward  , she argued  he had  not noticed Fatima  s naturally  brilliant eyes,  she added  ashman must grow up and quick  to learn to appreciate  otgers plus points  , it wasn't  any ordinary  institution  but  students mire intelligent than him had joined it some of them were foreign nationals, 

page 21...

...the haveli of asfandyar  was decorated  for the night function to celebrate ten years of his second marriage  with mahi, ,   his first wife had died whose son was sikander,, most of the  guests for the occasion had arrived,  mahi was attending to them,  she was the hostess  but welcoming the guests sge fumed for asfandyar  still wasn't  around,  she  reached his room  in rage why was he still there,  he turned to look at her blaming her brother  afzaal who  spoiled all the fun,  he was going back to Cecily  to participate in a  lecture  but husband was annoyed at another point,  he had called him to talk over an issue  she could stay to see for herself what  exactly did he do,  he was packing up to leave,  he was  told  to meet asfandyar  before catching his flight,   he asked her why did she  come  to the room  she must play the hostess  welcoming the guests,  e could later share his  troubles with her, stamping her foot she left him  alone,  , five minutes  later afzaal came in, he was sixty and  elder to mahi, afzaal   quietly asked what was it 

Eight years ago asfandyar  glaring  at him said he was given a task 

What task  afzaal had always  completed all the tasks 

Saira asfandyar  explained  was the  task 

But  what made you  remember her now 

She is still alive  he minced the words

Afzaal  had  sold her  off and she must be a living dead either in North or south America  with  a blank mind 

Saira is alive and fine and in Karachi 

from previous

...after  tge whole conversation  Sheila looked at sikander she had  spoken to  mamu that very evening,  a few days later  saira was called for the interview,  saura surprised the board committee with her exceptional  and outstanding  capabilities   though she had no experience  of job , ,Sheila offered to pick her up to office  and drop her back home,  both sikander and  Sheila  encouraged ber to go back to work  as a professional  banker where she had proved herself  the best,  sikander even apologized  for  inventing rafiq sahib   but it was Sheila from who he had taken her number,  he had  his bank account in the same bank where  Sheila worked and  became friends 

But what reason  got you asking for  saira  s number,  sikander  and Sheila were  close intimate partners and  he enquired  about her  and  Sheila gave him all her details  and the number,  he then wished  to see her and so the whole thing followed  systematically,  he offered to take her to a psychiatrist  who would help her unlock  her  mind but he wouldn't  push her to see  a psychiatrist  against her wish, saira nodded her consent,  Sheila  explained  saura was given the job by ber and had net just one day before   the interview six months ago,  both  had become informal  and friendly  without  any  formality  very frank and  straightforward,  saira agreed to  be  informal  with her, Sheila added  tomorrow  both will  go to work together  and if they did not behave  as before and  treated each other differently  the employees would begin to suspect them

page 17

....Fatima explained what kind of life they lead in  the village,  abba  gave home tuitions  and didn't charge  anything  because  the villagers were  below poverty line,  he was happy  to teach  tge future generations  so they could   become socially responsible citizens,  if only it was possible for him  to educate each and every child    ,  discussing her village  problems  Fatima  became  sad, , her mother was dead and  she had a sister,  amna appa was five  years  elder , , Fatima was six and  appa eleven  when amma died, , tgeir elder  aunt raised them,  Taya and abba lived in the same house  , it was a joint family,  , in fact  till now they were joint,  , Taya  grew  homegrown  vegetables  in their fields and abba  got a job as a school teacher,  Taya had a son and three daughters,  , one older to appa  another   appa  s age, and the third younger to  Fatima,  Taya also  passed away when his son was eighth  standard student,  so their responsibility shifted to abba  s shoulders  , but unitedly  they  all get along very well,  Nasir appa  and Fatima  s appa  together  make  carpets, , all self employed and hard working  make enough to make ends meet 

Madiha curiously asked  if    her cousins were not educated, 

There was just one middle school  and girls  were not  more educated  than that, 

If there was just a middle school  how could Fatima  got herself  better educated 

from previous

...so your sister  makes  handmade carpets

Right,  in the  village  they lived  women mostly made carpets  , merchants from Lahore dump all the  material   and  it takes minimum one to two years  to ready one  carpet  or even many more years,  these  handmade carpets were  sold on very high rates  though  the village women got a meager  price fir their  artistic  skills and hardwork ,  it's a pittance,   just for a second  the flashing  lights in her dark eyes  dimmed  with sadness,  anyway when abba returned  to the village  from  paying  the fees  appa was  sick , it was  appa who had    pushed him to go pay the fees,  Fatima  s face brightened with a warm smile  as she  continued  appa   s vision was to see  Fatima become a doctor,  of very delicate and soft nature  appa  easily  fell  sick  , she was  admitted to shallot hospital where she  stayed for a couple of days 

Madiha asked about her father 

He was a  primary school teacher,  due to  kidney problem  he took up  premature retirement,  his  pension wasn't  enough  to pay for her medical    degree,  all his  money  was used on amma  s medical  conditions,  thirty eight years ago  teachers  salaries  , pensions and g p funds were    not in  lakes like today 

What happened to your amma,  how is she now,  madiga for no reason at all had liked  Fatima  , it was love at first sight  and madiha was most sympathetic 

Amma  died several years ago  and appa  took  over  all the financial worries  on her delicate  shoulders 

from previous...

...then Sheila   courteously asked if saira didn't mind  could she share the  bench with her,   Sheila  wanted her to keep humming the  tune  it was rather pleasant  hearing her voice,  but saira  was  hyper confused and  couldn't remember what was she singing,  Sheila offered to solve her problem only if saira  shared it with her, Sheila  introduced herself  she worked in a bank and enquired about saira  who told her her name  and that she wasn't an employee anywhere,  no , she didn't live with her parents  nor was she married  she cut the conversation  in the middle right there saying  that's what she believes,  Sheila  in  surprise  suggested at least  saira could   be certain  of her marriage  or no marriage,  saira  became emotional  , her voice cracked  because she wasn't sure,  suddenly  saira  stopped to peer quietly at Sheila  before asking why was she interested in knowing about her so much 

Just because  of her  sad expression on her face  and the melody  too was soulful , it all seemed so naturally indicative of her heightened  sentiments  sitting there  in solitude  but  she apologized for  insisting  she shared  her troubles with her yet it was  also  correct  talking about your worries lifted the heaviness from the heart 

from previous...

....meantime  saira had decided   to let herself  flow with the tide  because  she  didn't  remember   anything  about herself  , she prepared herself to face  whatever life  unfolds  before her,  a question had  cropped up into her mind  why did  sikander  call another  female  there , he made tea and offered her the tea  and then the snacks,  picking up one  piece  saira said she was  telling him the truth he must trust her,  he explained his point  it was useless  to lose her all control  with her memory,  she agreed  but  it all usually happens only in stories 

So did she remember  having read such stories 

She was in Karachi   because she remembered  the roads and all the  sceneries looked familiar 

Perhaps  she gad partial  amnesia 

But  what she wanted to know was  if she had someone in this world waiting for her  and where 

He still  was not completely  satisfied with her logic and no professional  expert in psychology  would  believe her, it was  complex and complicated 

She suddenly realized  he got startled  watching the main entrance,  she followed his line of gaze  there stood just one girl at the main door  clad in jeans and shirt to  reach them  and seeing  saira there  started and asked  she too was there 

For saira she was an absolute stranger,  she couldn't respond  to he surprised  lookr in any way  and kept staring at the girl  with an expressionless face 

from previous..

.... there were still five minutes to go  to five o clock when saira got  down from the taxi   at the restaurant gate,  a handsome  young man  quickly reached her side  to so softly  whisper  sikander  that  nobody  else  besides her could hear him,   she looked at him   with  fathomless gaze  before turning towards the taxi  driver  to pay him off,  he asked her what made her come in a taxi,  she innocently asked  how else could she reach  there 

In your own car , of course   , he laughed  and added  or had she forgotten  her car  also  and how to drive  too,  she felt humiliated  and was that his reason to invite her there  , sikander quickly  became  serious  and politely invited her to come into the restaurant,  she  again   told him tearfully   the moment he would  make fun of her  state of  forgetfulness she  leaves    sge followed him in that condition  of confusion,  the restaurant  wasn't  much  crowded  nor absolute    vacant,  he chose a table   which had  no  tables  in close proximity,, both  sat down  facing  each other across the table 

He asked what would she like to have before  they  started talking 

She didn't need anything 

At least for company's sake and  called the waiter  to bring  tea and snacks  for them

She leaned over eager to know  that person who gave him her number  on which  sikander had contacted her

from previous...

....both began walking  away from  the spot they had met  , she was scared of ragging  , the seniors were horribly  notorious  , she  halted to watch  other students  around,  therefore she   had  deliberately  reached  the college late, groups of seniors stood  in circles  with prying  scanning eyes,  madina knew some  seniors  and  cheered Fatima up, madina had her cousins  as seniors too,  though  a little bit of  friendly  ragging was done as a right,  once was enough  and  madina was safe there wasn't any  second  chance of ragging  and  Fatima was safe with her, , relaxed she asked curious what year  her cousins were in looking  more  at ease  as she walked  along  more confident 

Jawa was in the third year  and named was a second year student,  that  made  her quite happy  to take their  help in her future studies,  Fatima  nodded   and became silent  till she was asked what was she thinking about 

She was troubled by the  concept of ragging new comers, could that never be stopped,  her eyes turned to look directly into madiha s who thought  how Dwight shiny eyes this ordinary looking girl had, such extraordinary  bright eyes that she had never seen before,  like  a pair if mud lamps burned  in her eyes,  thick lashes  covered  the fire in her  ordinary  eyes, madiha  couldn't  ignore  her extraordinary   brilliance  in her countenance   , Fatima   possessed a most charming and impressive  personality 

page 8....

....the fridge and the sideboard  were loaded with  all the groceries vegetables and  other things  , very obvious it all was meant for her, , in the hotpot  the warm meal was freshly cooked and left for her obviously  but why,   who was she  and by whom was it being done,  the purpose was not clear,  several unanswered questions in her mind  constantly worried her  , saira sat down to have a hearty meal  before going back to her room  to rest  but the unsolved  questions  kept on revolving in her mind to give her a headache,  she  went to the kitchen to make coffee for herself,  she felt rather better but  another  mind boggling  question  crept into her  confused mind  what was this whole  mysterious set up   built around her,  who was  it's   creator 

She spent  very long time  thinking over and over  the circumstances  she was in til she was  drawn  by a phone  ringing,  casually she looked around to see  where was the location of the ringing phone,  she quickly realized the phone was not in the room  anywhere,  saira  quickly  got out from her bed to walk out of the room turning towards the sound  of ringing,  she entered  another room that  apparently looked  by  the furnishings  it was a dining room,  there on the dining table was kept a large sized  ladies  purse and the phone  ringing  came from  inside tge purse 

saza o jaza

...she couldn't  forget her ever,  sge always  remembered her , thirty eight years passed by yet it seems so  recent as yesterday  when they had  met for the first time, 

That was Fatima  Umar, ordinary looking  dusky quite  a plain simple girl dressed in skin color  gown  with  skin color  scarf with black polka dots  all over  covering her head,   she appeared  more  common than the  most common,  she stood  worried  by the gates of  the king Edward  medical College,  she unintentionally stopped by her side to check on her familiar  polkadot  scarf  , anyway  sge had stopped to look at tge polkadot  girl  to ask if she was a new Comer, polkadot head nodded  

She too was a newcomer and  extended her hand that she  held but her eyes looked at her suspiciously 

Introductions were exchanged madiha Salim paracha

Fatima Umar

Madiga repeated the name  of Fatima and some thing clicked 

Nit the Fatima  Umar position holder 

Fatima nodded  of course she was it

Ilm ke qadrdaan

..ibn rashid  in his all literary  life  just on two occasions could not  recite

...asna elibn ishak was always  seen  studying books by his friends and visitors 

...imam tabri  could  write down  minimum  of fourteen  pages each day and he never wasted  a day

...ibn  Khalifa abbas was the wazir of  actual and always carried a book under his arm  to sit down  to read  it  every spare moment he found 

...

ghaney baal

....falling hair is  common problem  very ordinary yet very hard , some  measures on haircare  are followed  in simple steps  that can  prevent  it, good protein diet like fish can be included in regular meals,  omega three  foods are healthy because  our body doesn't  make omega three and it has to be supplemented,  greens and leafy spinach variants are a rich source  to boost  health,  vegetable juice from carrots and  salads   also beneficial,  to quickly  stop  your hair fall two onions crushed and grated  strained out juice from the pulp to massage the scalp , applying it twice a week  sees wonderful result  on hair growth 

bolti aankhein

...saira was     in a  lost  manner was crossing the  stairs, because her apartment was situated on the first floor  she  habitually  used tge stairs, , she  unlocked her door to step inside,  she shut the door  to walk towards her bedroom  to put down her purse in a corner before  throwing herself onto the bed exhausted,  , ber most beautiful eyes usually  remained vacant   but now  the blank eyes were filled with questions she  wanted herself to answer,   who was she

This was the  troubling question  she was constantly asking herself since  the day she opened her eyes in that apartment,  feeling that was the first moment of her life  as if she was  born just then  but  looking at herself she was  not  less than twenty,  she tried very hard to recall her past life  events but failed to  remember who was her mother  and how did she reach  that apartment 

haldi...

....turmeric holds  a most prominent and profound  position in the  Ayurveda,  it is indispensable   and considered a boon ,  haldi helps cleansing  entire  bodily  system thoroughly,   haldi is instructed  to be included  in one's daily  diet,  prescribed  by the ancient  herbalists it was used  as therapeutical remedy  to cure stomach  ,  joint pains,  digestive  problems,  fever  and  infections  and  so  turmeric  became  inseparable ingredient  and the main  important spice  in culinary skills  added to almost every  dish 

gori ne Pehney phoolon ke gehney..

....flowers are priceless  gift from nature to decorate this world,  flowers  add beauty colors and fragrance to our lives,  seeing them blooming  lightning up and cheer up  the  viewers  etes and  mood,  soul is nourished  and  body  rejuvenates,  ,  these  splashing  colorful  flowers   filling  the air with refreshing  profusion of  exotic  scents  unconditionally  are truly  a marvel  of nature  , right  it is for  the women  all over the world  from  whatever culture  and nationality  that  each one  in the eastern  and the western   love  having  flowers  to ornate  themselves  and  fill their surroundings  with   the sight of flowers 

page 21...

.....rahmin  extended her hands and mixed paste of green hena  towards mir  to apply  it decoratively  on her palms  to which he was horrified,  he had never done  such hena  work before,  she  began  making  tiny little  patterns on her hands  herself  and after some time she turned to him to impress him but he was already  fast asleep 

Next morning sge woke up cheerfully admiring her hena but mir had already gone for his regular walk,  she quickly freshened up before going to the kitchen,  tomorrow  nazya and naznin had  to catch their flight,  she began  making  breakfast for everyone,  the entire day  was spent  in the daily routine and every time she served  something to mir she tried to display her hennaed  hands  turning them towards him but every time  she  got  no reaction  no response from him except  silence,  she  had a cheerful disposition and enjoyed small talks , happy endings, juicy gossip and sulking  if someone  was there to cuddle  but mir was extremely naive on this matter  ,  , how  irritating  it was  for a newly wedded bride  who couldn't  show her attitude  to get his attention 

She was quite exhausted and came back to her room to catch her breath and before long  fell asleep  , she felt fresh and full of energy  when she opened her eyes,  tying a knotted bun on her hair she walked to the door to find naznin  tutoring   mir on how to treat her wife,  not to allow her to show attitude,  not let her make demands,  not to let her mix with marya, she walked back into her room,  this was  mind therapy  she thought,  her husband stood there with his head lowered , disgusting 

page 19...

...the first feast was  given from narya  baji, within  an hour tgey were to leave,  rahman  had selected gers and  mir salik s partywear and  spread them on the beds and she began  drying her hair,  nazya baji came in  and   questioningly  asked if this was what she was wearing today,  she was affirmative  for the blue   plain simple  traditional dress in silk in modern  style  elegantly  edged with golden  multi colored   sides

Immediately after  nazta baji left appeared  naznin baji curious  to find out  what was rahman going to wear  for the feast and began checking the wardrobe  herself  declaring  the one she had selected was not appropriate and pulled out a grey maxi  with heavy embroidery work  that rahman thought was not right for  a community feast,  it wasn't a function after all,  not at all explained  naznin with  a  series of instructions  on how to dress up , what all make up to go with it, what jewelry to put on  telling her the gold she had brought wasn't up to their  high standards  and was  lower  to their expectations  but she could put all the gold she got from the in laws side, naznin left with an air of  attitude 

Rahman clutched her head to sit down in a sofa  then got up  motivated  it was natural  for sisters in law to see their brother's bride look the best  outshine all others 

Mir salik appeared to comment  why was she dressed up like a Christmas tree all shiny , they were attending  just a meal next door not any function in a marriage palace 

She  explained  naznin baji had personally  asked her to wear   her choice of clothes 

She  felt  marya baji was simple   and  polite  and not like  naznin and  nazya , 

kitty party outing evening

page 17...

....she sat upright   having removed the veil of bashness,  that veil of shyness that has delicate fabric  woven from  desires  longings  and untouched  emotions,  rahman had seen  mir salik s face in the photograph  and  his image  in her mind was etched  without any dreams in her eyes,  he now sat before her, , hus burning gaze  filled with  unexpressed  unexplained  sentiments,  she looked beautiful  he commented,  , but of course sge was beautiful  so she  had to look beautiful  , her argument  was purely based on logic  he was impressed  by her educational  skills of art of debating  with amused  glances,  she honestly  explained she never cheated nor did she ever was really hardworking 

Then ge  coaxed her to elaborate  settling his questioning  eyes on rahman s thick lashes

Rahman without prejudice  expressed she was very brainy  to which  a loud mirthful laugh escaped  from his mouth  

He pleasantly and  warmly  got up to go change into something  relaxing  and  asked her to freshen up and get rid off of all the heavy bridal to something  homely  because  it had been a long exhausting day, ,  

How  could she say it she needed help to get those heavy stuff tied  all over her  , it was a simple matter of understanding 

She was an early riser but  the entire family and household was still not up, rahman offered  her nanaz and recited ber Quran  and sat doing nothing on a sofa  for several hours,  not knowing how to spend her time  she began strolling  up and down,  her younger sister in law   came with  a cup of tea,   there was still long time for a meal  but tge tea tray was laiden  with sufficient for her snacks 

from previous...

....she felt her ammi and baba were  behaving  odd for quite some days,  soon  her suspicions  got cleared up after her finals,   one of tge matrimonial proposals  was accepted,  mir salik was an only brother to  his two married sisters to to two brothers in Italy,  their children were still small,   sisters were working women,  mir  salik s mother insisted they returned home  who  eagerly  expected  salik to quickly get married,  they lived in their family home  and had a sixteenth grade government job, he looked alright,  ammi showed  rahman his picture  , she looked at it carefully  to finally make a comment he didn't look a hero but  she was ready to make a hero out of him 

Bhayya naughtily  said  or she could turn the groom to zero 

Baba thought aloud he had full faith in his daughter  who  was educated  well and practical and  sensible  and definitely  deserved  happiness in life  she would work for,  baba patted  her shoulders  and rahman turned to look at her brother  and  pulled  her imaginary  collars high stiffening her neck  twenty two and  already  completed her studies  that was the most proper thing to do ammi argued 

Baju   next morning  was told who thought  rahman  was too immature to get married so soon though 

Baju wanted rahman should be given more time to enjoy  her carefree  unmarried life  at her parents house 

Rahmin  said she would enjoy life after marriage to which baju  thought otherwise  that  married life was not meant for enjoying  oneself but it was a commitment  to follow  a disciplined  life and perform  duties  and shoulder responsibilities  to make your marriage work 

from previous...

....on the wedding day  rahman spread out all the  things on the bed,  and began ironing  a frock, ammi got worried seeing her wearing so much  , , rahman became more worried  for ammi  , what was the matter with  it

Ammi didn't like unmarried girls wearing heavy makeup and over dressed  for any occasion,  ammi was picking up each and every stuff carefully  investigating  it with her scrutinizing  gaze, 

But she argued  and asked ammi to see  the dupatta too, that would  cover her entirely  and overshadow  all of her  attempts  to appear  pretty 

Ammi insisted  firmly to change her earnings for  another pair  more simple and less decorative,  pushing aside  her filmi  over dramatic  piece of jewelry,  and not to bother  to put on so many  dozens of bangles  when  just two on each wrist were sufficient,  the silky glass bangles  were quite pretty  but  no use wearing  that heavy  gold set 

Rahman was  put off and sulky  and declared sge wasn't  going to attend the function 

zaat e aurat...

... theirs was a dead relationship,  she placed  the soup bowl  on the side table  as he lay weak and limp on the bed, she  looked at him  , his eyes were shut,  , she waved her right hand before him,   quickly his eyes flew open and he caught her hand,  ,  what all showed in his  sleepy eyes only she  could interpret  clearly,  but she no longer  was eager to know what all was  suppressed or expressed  in his eyes, , she was no more interested in his words and activities,  after all  theirs was a dead relationship  still loosely  attached to a flimsy  string of breaths 

He asked her to  feed him  the soup , his eyes  flooding with emotions,  , she sat down  listless by  his side on the edge of the cot stirring the soup in the bowl  with a spoon  lifeless, 

A sudden desire  crossed her unhappy mind  to say something sweet,  something  soothing  in a honey tone but couldn't  muster enough courage  and tge soup was finished,  picking up the empty soup bowl she left the room  with a blank expressionless face 

She scowled and scolded herself  for  getting crazy , he thought  desires are desires for  they remain unfulfilled 

sakoon se mehroom....

....what  exactly  defines  peacefulness,  it is merely  a name given to a feeling  but  it is so very rarely  evoked in a person  that  it seems impossible to reach that state of mind  but when  and if someone  succeeds in realizing  that  awareness   he finds himself  amidst  all the worldy  problems  and personal apprehensions  feeling  at peace and satisfied,  , unable to express  this  situation  he frequently  keeps  showing his  gratitude towards  the almighty  for granting him all he wants,  his mind and heart  is filled  with  belief  that he is fully  supported  by the lord,  that He will quickly  pull him out of the darkness,   the faithful  is so strong believer   , his faith so solid  that  his faith  emerges  stronger  than  the overshadowing  hassles  in life,   his faith is his only strength  and  conscience 

The question arises what is it that makes  today's  man  unendingly  look for worldy  profits and  try  to find solace in tbe materialistic  lifestyle,  when  true  happiness lies only  in his state of mind  and honesty,   tge feeling   and  strength he finds  within  when he  is in trouble  and   helpless  but hus inner faith  keeps him going  even when  the times are hard  , no quick solution  at hand,  but still  being  grateful for  all he still has  ,  most importantly  modern man has  become thankless  habitually,  forgetting  to be grateful is ignoring  one's  blessings,  cursing  hus own fate, abusing   and comparing   endlessly   with  others  in better off positions as otgers lower to him in status wish to be  in his place 

page 155...

.....now  look  at it like this,  nanaz is learnt ,  rules  on how to hajj are learned,   from smallest to biggest   things  are taught and learnt  , car driving  , computer operating,  how to run a small business  , how to manage  an institute  , for  every  single   system  one  is expected  to learn  to better  manage  his  business  , isn't  home and family  also  a responsibility  one must learn to  be able to competently  handle   it , she was  explaining  her  on the  drive back  home,  was  anything as important  as family and home  possible  to manage without experience,  without  willingness  without  understanding,   do you know  what makes  Satan   encourage his  followers  and  who pleases  him the most,  the car  stopped at the red signal  and she turned her  face to look at her 

Satan is pleased  by those who  divide  the married couples  by creating  misunderstanding between them,  so the spouses  doubt  each other,  because  it weakens the family system  and weak  doubting  families  make  a sick  society,  such  weak doubting minds    turn aggressive  m , iblis enjoys  unfaithful  community that challenges the authority of  the almighty  creator 

page 150..

....so zavyar what are your plans  for marriage 

 He deposited the amount in the bank and turned to ask him 

He had been  thinking over this matter for quite  some  days  lifted his head to look at him 

Do you really think  it's a good idea  and I should be married though you  know  it so well  I am  not the same zavyar,  times  changed  ne , his tone was bitter and questioning 

Life always changes everyone  this is life

Zacyar seemed exhausted 

Making the best of everything Life  gave  wasn't possible,  failures were  pulling him down , things  were  out of his control  , he had  to  try again  to  rectify   the mistakes,  , those who tried   sincerely success  followed them,  but why was he no trying  ,through  Anni  they had got the news of zarmaqnoon   getting married 

from previous...

.....anyhow  amma,  nazish  and ajar left for multan,  azm shifted to a hotel  , two weeks later when he reached home h breathed  a sigh of satisfaction  , nazish who was for ages was  an outsider  was amidst them  a most  reliable and dependable   family member,   bonding between  nazish and  amma was   strengthening  rapidly,  , amma  was  showering  her sincere   warm affections  on  nazish  regretting her past behavior,  nazish  was also  attached to her mother in law  treating her like her own mother,  azm  found this new development  to his satisfaction,  , nazish  for sure  belonged  to the  family  but  azm wanted ajar should also  get equal importance  during her stay  there,  for no apparent reason  he had  become so concerned for  ajar  recently,  , he even instructed roshni to take care of ajar, who obediently  followed  her  brother's  wishes to make him happy,  , slowly  and steadily  their relationship improved,  they became more  informal and friendly,  , if this aspect  of their family life  improved  aaz8m on the other side  was getting himself  on less solid  ground  and more unbalanced,  , the first jolt shook him when  he reached  the shops to collect the rentals  and  savar sahib  said he  had  already deposited the entire amount in the account of nazish as she had instructed him on the phone 

page 129....

....the  reactions of all the family members was exactly as expected,  seeing amma with azm   nazish became  nervous,  ajar was surprised  and aazim  was  more  irritated and  worried  than  happy 

For a couple  of days  amma  silently observed the  whole  scenario,  habits and daily  routine of the entire family  and then  disclosed  the reason of her coming,  roshni  was soon getting married,  her in laws  several times  spoke  of elder son aazim and his wife nazish not  being there  ,  uncaring as they are amma decided to come herself  to inform them and invite  her elder  son  and his wife  herself  before  aazim  elder brother to the bride  roshni  chose to arrive  as a guest  on special appearance  without  bringing nazish with him 

Aazim argued  there was still  lots of time  for the wedding and he certainly was coming  after all  wasn't roshni his  little sister his tones complexion  was rude

Amma  showed her pleasure on the talent of nazish  who was a good seamstress,  amma deliberately  ignored  his comments  to highlight  his wife's  skills of sewing,  directing her statement  to nazish  amma  carried on  wasn't it her wifely duty  to support  amma in getting her daughter married  and to help the bride  too , her tone was warm informal and  accusing,  nazish  quickly  agreed  to reach multan  whenever amma  wanted her  , her wish was her command,  amma still looking   lovingly annoyed  said  nazish had  not  come for years  to multan  and  how could  amma believe her, azm suggested  to take  bhabhi home with her  to which  aazim gave him  a  furiously bruised  look 

page 127...

.... his stay was  lengthened,  he had expected to finish his job and  soon after  return to  multan , he   headed home wards  one weekend,  he had visited  Nasir bhai  a friend of  aazim before  telephoning  and  updating  amma  on the  life  aazim  lived in Lahore,  Nasir was the  friend  on whose  suggestion   aazim had  shifted to Lahore,  Nasir also  worked  in Lahore,  azm visited him to add his number on his contacts,  luckily  Nasir was at home,  he was also on leave,  , he met and  welcomed  azm very warmly,  , quick exchange of greetings  followed  by azm asking him  about  aaz8m  s activities 

They still were working  8n the  same place,  but aazim had changed his friend circle,  his new friends were not  good,  they were bad company  and  aazim was under their  spell,  not ready to listen to anyone else,  , aazim had  bluntly  snubbed  Nasir  for trying to interfere in his  choice of life 

from previous...

....azm on phone  spoke to amma and  shared his observations  he had made staying with his elder brother in Lahore  that aazim bhai  was  not  as true as his statements  which  were  false  and bazish was also   an ordinary woman  and that  both were  absolutely  incompatible and  didn't get along  together at all,   , it was a possibility  aazim  was  controlled  by her who definitely stopped him from  staying in touch with  his family back  home in multan,  he was deliberately  and systematically  made distant  from  his contacts,  bhai   was kept  away  from them all  , that  was  azm   s version  , he wasn't  naturally in any position to  tell him  and his wife  how to lead their life   , amma was confused, her elder son  aazim was so innocent  honest and loving  who  wasn't  aware  of the wickedness  of  women's nature  fell prey  to nazish  s scheming,  it was certain  nazish    laid  an emotional trap to catch him    poor  aazim couldn't  resist  her false charms , what a deep and sharp  that  odious woman  is,,  amma sunk in a  deep  depression  , it was difficult to make amma see  the situation  as it was through his detailed narrative,  he sighed pathetically,  amma was miles away  quite helpless unable  to rectify or reverse  the situation  and azm was powerless  to argue  with her telephonically,   but  tge matter was even  far more serious  in aazim bhai  s life  than he could think of,  azm walked towards  nazish s room to repair his shirt button  that was cracked,  he was about to lift his hand to knock at the door  when  he heard  rising voices  that gripped his  feet, it was ajar  speaking in a    tearful tone with her sister  asking  nazish to demand  a couple of thousands   from  aazim  it wouldn't  hurt him  , such a small amount 

from previous...

....next few days  were  exceptionally busy, he would leave after breakfast,  tge entire day was  spent  on office work  after office  late nights out with friends  became his  regular   routine,  his other colleagues who were with him for the training course  had no financial  responsibilities of any kind,  they were absolutely free from  all worries  and  thoroughly enjoyed themselves,  he had  enjoyed their  hospitality  8n expensive  hotels  for two nights and on the third occasion it was his turn to pay the bills  and azm paid the bill  for their  wholesome dinner  which was  double the amount   comparatively  from the previous two nights,  he wasn't a miser  but his domestic status  didn't allow him to  afford  such  lavish parties and enjoy  excessive luxuries,  he had been saving   regularly  for the unseen future,  he  spent meagerly just on the  necessities  no extras no wastage,  

Having paid  for the dinner  azm realized  he couldn't be one of the rich  friends  in the group  and  can't continue with that kind of lifestyle,  next day he directly returned home  from the office,  his friends tried to stop him  for the late night activities  but he comfortably  used a convenient  excuse  of  not being able to join them for his elder brother aazim  had lovingly scolded him for  being there in Lahore and not  showing up  whole day and  for that even at night   so azm was to be going around with family  from that point onwards 

page 121...

...aazim  returned home quite late in the evening  and azm observed he was more shocked than he had  expected him to be on seeing him,  something  told azm his brother wasn't really  pleased,  he asked  if he was there to stay for a month  , at least he ought to have informed him before  coming,  azm had  already explained  it was  impossible to contact him  yet  aazim repeated his  complaint,  younger brother  insisted  perhaps he had changed his sim and forgot to share the new number  he must now  give him it so azm would  save it, amma  for long   wanted to hear her son's  voice,  everyone missed him , he had  no come home  for  ages it seemed,  azm wasn't put off by elder brother  at  all  though nazish had  spontaneously  enquired after each and every one   , aazim as if had forgotten to ask about his mother and sisters,  azm himself began describing  their family life back 8n multan but aaz8m was apparently not showing any interest  and was  absent minded  ,

Aazim  had  a perfect  excuse  he had dropped his mobile somewhere and  sending his new number just slipped out of his mind,  tge lost number was blocked 

Azm  asked what made him change the number when he could have got the same number and  the family in multan  easily  could have stayed in touch with him   not getting so panicky 

page 119...

....azm would  keep a very  meager amount  and hand over  all his  salary  every month  to amma whose etes flooded with emotional storms  showering  lots of loving  blessings on him, azm had learnt to manage his  personal sentiments and kept his  thoughts to himself  and reached  his elder brother az8m s in laws  house,  his other two colleagues were staying in the hotel and insisted he too stayed with them but he had other plans,  the office was paying  handsomely,  he was saving the daily allowance for  roshni,  he consoled himself  as he stopped to knock at his brother's  door  that it was not  a matter of debate to stay there,  on the third count the door opened  , a girl stood there  silently  with  questioning  eyes, he asked if aazim bhai was home, her answer was as short as  his question that  at this time he was away 

He explained  he was younger brother of aazim come from  multan,  it was necessary to introduce himself hoping tge door would be  opened wide  but her face remained  blank and expressionless  as  before,  azim returned home after  seven  in the evening and she promised to inform azim about his  arrival then,  her attitude suggested he must leave now,  a sense  of defeat   ran through his entire  body,  , the  luggage he carried  clearly  defined he was a traveler