from previous

Manhat  reached home  , the voices  rising from the room  stopped her midway,  her elder brother  marhad and his wife raunaq jahan  were arguing   on a high pitch,  hearing her name she clung the wall   to more attentively  catch the bombing  between her brother and his wife murder was saying  ever since you have arrived in this house after marriage  me and my sister  never gave you any trouble  we didn't restrict you from doing what you want,  we gave you full control of the entire household and only only you  had the power and authority to give  orders,   you are stubborn selfish and  self centered but we never  stopped you,  but the matrimonial proposal you have  brought fir her I am totally against it  and she won't accept it  for sure 

Ragnar jahan  roared ferociously  to put on glasses of practical life and look at his sister,  what  a dark complexion  , no matter what her features are without  fair complexion  she is not noticeable,  do many  suitors arrived but she was rejected if  unwittingly the brightness of youth is  gone  you both brother and sister will   regret it for life 

humraaz

As usual  following the routine  emerged  from the school  farzin and  narhat  to  step into their favorite restaurant  to let's have tea , both  liked the burgers and  tea in this restaurant  because  they could comfortably  sit  and discuss  their  personal matters   and  current affairs wiping the plates of  burgers clear  and  pouring  hot tea down their throats,   this tea break  revived their exhausted  forms  filling them up with renewed energy they were depleted of since morning,  it was a relaxing  experience for them,   to listen and  tell   and then  leave  to go their respective ways 

Both  would  pay the bill nit splitting  it because they belonged to the same clan,  reaching home  they skipped  day time meal  for two simple reasons,  first they were happily  eaten burgers with tea and second  they were on the plumper side,  water also worked like  evaporated butter on them 

After  a while  the topic of marriage    came up,   farzin  biting into the burger  lowered her eyes  and   forced her memory  to   pointedly  ask marhat  if  by God's grace  weren't visitors expected at her place  did they turn up or it was merely a  rumor 

Manhattan was sipping her steaming hott tea , the  sudden question  changed the taste of her tea to  bitter  unable to swallow  it, she couldn't answer  immediately,  an ominous silence  descended between them 

shaka

..year  2020

Vastok army base -Russia Sofia  exited the plane  and   observed   there was some kind of  unexpecred excitement going around in the army base,    the army was actively  seen moving  around the small  airbase 

Hello miss Sofia  major Smith greeted her noticing her presence,  she was   to be quickly ushered to the checking center  to be once again  taken back to the airbase to catch the flight to research center m it was a carrier plane  loaded with  groceries and medicines,  Sofia was not permitted to stay at the research center more than two days 

page 147

Pressing the ballpen in  his right hand fingers  mikeal was lost in deep reverie,  still  lost in thoughts he lit his cigar m he and Paterson were neighbors fir decades  ever since his first marriage  when he married tge second time  and  when Agnes came to live with him,  both marriages failed,  but  Paterson   and Agnes  behavior was unexpected  mikeal once again  bent  towards the table where   reports sent by Lara were kept , she was a patient of multiple personality disorder   result of harassment by the caretaker   treatment is given to the person  living multiple personalities,  kalsi and mona were also two different types of personalities  Agnes was leading,   , she had killed  George and police officer Grant  nit as Agnes but when she was kalsi 

,  mikeal took up the case and immediately knew it was a  complicated psychological problem,  

Now mikeal was divided  between ethical and  professional standards,  should he show favor to Paterson because of him his mother  s life was saved or should he  be arrested for his  negative role,  personally  mikeal liked Paterson   for being the savior only because of his timely  help his mother had survived,  finally he clicked pictures of tge reports from Lara on mobile and sent them to Paterson,   at least this much  he could do as a return favor 

khatarnak masum

....Agnes when entered the office  four eyes  most carefully  scanned her  even when she reached her desk and took her seat  these were  kalsi and mona s eyes

The girl is completely a whore it was kalsi  s comment, sometimes she oversteps her limits  mona took Agnes s side

But look at the side if her skirt , is that the way to dress up to go to office,  kalsi was not withdrawing her opinion 

Mona again  softly  but firmly  supported  Agnes for whom she had a soft spot 

Titally Unaware of the  gossiping tongues  Agnes gad got herself busy in her work,  sometimes she really  got  worried  with the two of them  who  kept on wagging their tongues not  letting her speak  all she could do was to ignore them,  Agnes was fully aware sge was being discussed,  sighing  heavily she would carry on with her own life 

During  the office hours she tried hard to focus on her job and avoid tge girls  she in fact was successful in maintaining her composure,  ever since sge broke up from  George  she was  feeling low  she wanted to  have another boy friend  to lift herself out from that  depression 

Anyway the clock  ticked on,  Agnes   constantly worked  as kalsi and mona gossiping  spent the time,  it was time to  wind up,  she gathered her  work   , narender on the next  desk  also was ready to  leave,  laughing he offered coffee to Agnes 

No , I have a date to reach,  she lied 

She exited  for there was no need to mix with  the other  types  she believed firmly  friends should be of the same kind 

from previous

..why do you worry,  she is an educated girl,  she can decide for herself what is good from bad 

But she is so pure and innocent  and the world so cruel  rosy

Look here  Ibrahim  I have done enough for her and can't do anything more  holding the coffee mug she sat down  beside him in a chair,  dancing  all night in the bar   she is depleted of all physical and financial energy,  she stood up having  said what was in her heart 

That poor soul   can't  lift her burden nor shift it on others  but his  guilt was   killing him 

Whatever you say or think but I won't  I couldn't do it 

She was dressing up to go to the bar  holding the coffee mug she exited ,  he   sunk beneath the weight of his own helplessness  he looked  at his crippling foot and was frustrated 

This woman for whom he gad discarded all his close relationships  with his wife and children  nit very long ago  , rosy s husband Ahmed hasin worked  with Ibrahim on the same farm in Rome,  both men had become very close soul mates because of their  common faith,  they visited each other's homes frequently,  Ahmed hasin was an Indian from Delhi,  his family was very well educated,  rosy also   belonged to a decent cultured family background in Delhi ,   they had a son , life was good,  rosy was a ultramodern,  no doubt  Ibrahim was a friend of Ahmed  but she began   flirting with him 

page 21

....what do you want from me after all,  she was once again  arguing with him on the phone,  he was  by now  quite  uneasy  he didn't want to speak to her at all , she shouldn't  contact him  

She was upset  she Was saying that  he was  so  important to her in life 

He stressed that   all her schemes  were revealed  and she and her  words left no impression on him any longer 

How cruel you are wali to  believe my love for you is  merely cheap   drama,  , at least  he  must  think before accusing her of her  false love 

Her tone was so   much saturated with pain that he too  became silent  , the silence between them  was  maintained for some time,  how could he  talk to the woman he had been  in love with,  she was the only person who mattered to him  but she left him for another,  when he had wanted  her  truly  , he was  left alone  but why was she now  turning to him,  Walid had changed  he wasn't who he used to be, from that point  onwards  he had learned to live  in the real sense 

Please wali do listen to me

Walid silently shut off the phone 

page 125

 On a city street two young men  strolling  looked around at the city lights,   akram and  January  , both  worked during the daytime  and spent the  loafing around,  , they liked  looking at tall buildings and lightnings,  shining cars running on the smooth roads,  Marjan was tired,  he needed to take a rest  but akram  was engrossed in some deep thought 

Come on friend  spoke Marjan yawning  let's go  back and  sleep  for  the remaining hours 

Akram listening to him git irritated,  you want to sleep  and my sleep has   disappeared looking at these dazzling lights 

The city has lots of wealth  , they spend it on lights and  glamor 

For them  man has no value,  the poor  are worthless to them,  the starving  the deprived  are crawling  creeps to them,  akram expressed his feelings  all their wealth is used on buildings cars and  dazzling lights 

Strangely that was absolutely right 

from previous

..are you married 

The accused  instantly  retorted  he was  once upon a time married the  lawyer asked if his wife was dead 

No he shook his head  calmly  sge was alive and somebody else's companion 

So that is it, the  prosecution  cleverly  kept on asking  loaded questions 

So you gave divorce to your wife 

No she took khula

 His strength of serenity  was praiseworthy 

Woman usually goes fir the option of khula  when she is not happy with her husband  and  the husband is not ready to give her a divorce 

Absolutely this is commonly seen the accused  replied  shortly 

The court would like to know  what exactly was your wife's complaint against you  that sge was forced to take khula 

The defense lawyer objected at this point,  the client's  past was not relevant to the case 

The prosecution  insisted he was  trying to prove his point  it was a delicate    but important question 

Objection overruled  declared the judge in his  heavy voice 

from previous

... sir you must have heard the urdu  saying  he spoke rather with an attitude,, a bad name is worse than  bad deeds 

Of course I have heard of this  he nodded his head  , the same is happening to me 

It is  natural to happen  he tried to give an explanation,  don't you worry  don't give up  face your challenges,  remember only one thing  you must go on 

If an innocent child fails down into a drain to save him you have to also get down  into the filth ,  it's  certain  the savior in this  matter will   soak himself  from head to toe  in dirt   , without which he can't   get the child out, 

He looked at him  startled  , agreeing  with him he nodded and said  yes you are absolutely right beg sahib 

So now all you have to do is change your perspective,  your dignity is fallen from grace into a ditch  , just to get it back  safely you must  get into the ditch yourself,  you will find yourself completely   soaked into  the dirt your spirit  face reputation  name status,  it's  not strange  don't get affected by what people say about you let them  do and think as they  may ,  it's between your fallen name and their fallen  thinking,  be strong  and face your situation with serenity don't bother  what others think,  you know it you are innocent 

page 102

The matter was extremely delicate and of  sensitive  nature,  usually   the lawyer community  thinks  hundreds of times before  taking such cases  but he  without  giving it another thought  quickly  took it up as a challenge  of  complications 

It happened  some  forty five years ago   yet so clearly etched on his mind , it was   a freezing morning in the month of January,  he was   junior  at the sessions court , the judge had  occupied his seat   he   presented  hus client's  papers , Ahmed Hamid was the name of his client  a professional science teacher,  besides the school job he also had a coaching center  privately held at his place,  after his own name  tge coaching center was called  Ahmed academy  where  several  students  weak in the subject  attended  regular classes,   he followed a strict rule of not teaching the students  of  the school he worked in  at his small  center at home,  simply because he was an honest teacher and gave himself fully  in school  therfore  his school students didn't need extra coaching 

page 90

....he  left showbiz  for good  once and for all  never to look back,  he couldn't care less about  his old  companions   not bothering to stay in touch with them  and  completely forgot about that phase of his life 

He became a salesman  selling  encyclopedias  door to door,  he was certain he was  doing the perfect thing perfectly,  then he met the  girl he married,  his life  took a  steady  course   , he was quite happy with life,   nine years  after  the stage  he saw Simon  again,  he was window shopping  when he heard his name being called 

Hey buddy he was hearing this term for himself after ages,  he uncontrollably turned  to look,   Simon was limping  towards him in the street,  his hair all snowhite,  he walked with a stick,  his joints were painful,  he looked happy to see him  like he was  happy to see him

They met in a close by bar in the evening  Simon  had  chosen the place,  he found Simon was in a corner seat reading the daily gazette,  two beers were on the table waiting for them 

They spent some time  on current issues  and of wars  before  settling down to speak of  tge past , Simon  left the theater in nineteen thirty six,  he was  losing  his accuracy in throwing the knife,    about other associates  Simon  informed  him  polar was dead  Pitts one year after  died of a stroke,  miss nelly was hit by a speeding  taxi  on her way to the movies 

page 19

 I am Walid hasin , could I ask your name,  I dare to ask because  now we no longer are strangers to each other 

Araz Ibrahim  this time she revealed her name without any hesitation , 

Fine this was our introduction  to get ourselves out of the circle of  unfamiliarity,  he came to stand next to the rock she was perched on 

Actually didn't get out of the circle restricting  us but from one  circle got out to get into another circle 

He screwed his eyes 

Introductions allow one to  enter  new circle,  it becomes mandatory to follow new rules to remain  active in the new circle,  she clutched her  wind swept hair with her hands,  Walid looked at her deeply  

You speak well  philosophically,  it's not really difficult to carry your identity in a different  country 

She  sat upright startled 

Nit at all,  this is what makes us different from other people 

Walid astonished looked a bit  longer at araz,  suddenly she started to appear  one of his  kind  and not so strange  remote and unfamiliar 

page 18

.... running deftly  hrs fingers on the keyboard suddenly slowed down,  hrs attention was drawn towards the ringing phone,  checking on the number  a shadow of worry descended on hrs face,  hrs hands lifted themselves off the keyboard,  all her thoughts and feelings that kept his mind in stress  began hammering his mind,  feeling awfully helpless he shut his eyes,  he didn't want to pick up the call so he didn't,  after  several more rounds of ringing the phone stopped , a few minutes later it again started ringing,  this time he decided to answer it , he was certain  the bell will  ring incessantly until he picked up the call

Thousands of times I have told you not to call me up 

But  yet I do ring you up  just imagine how  helpless I must be 

Her voice  carried so much  weight but now it gad no affect on him 

She pleaded  not to shut off 

I have no reason to speak with you,  excuse me he dropped the call,  breathing   heavily he  plugged the phone to the socket 

Hello brother what's up,  any tension haryana slightly opposed the door to take in a peek and enquire,  he was certain  brother was busy working on his computer  he dared not disturb him , but seeing him sitting  idle he had ventured in,  what was the reason to be so silent,  if you could  explain what's going on 

There is nothing in my life except thinking  about matters that are not relevant at all , saying that he stood up smiling  , he looked at the watch 

Are you going somewhere 

Yes,  I must go  somewhere  that doesn't invite me but my feet take me there,  the silence  attracts me 

Why do you speak in such a  suspense  manner  I don't understand  clearly 

That is fine,  why should you need to understand  my matters,  giving a heavy pat on his shoulder  he smiling brushed past him  to exit his room leaving hary  scratching his head and shaking it as always 

page 87

...his performance was getting affected,  that night it was a singing drama,  all he was to do was to  wave a flag  and March shouting  you ho ho , on his entry time  by mistake he carried an umbrella instead of a staff , the umbrella was left by someone around,  a commotion was created  in the audience,  his other  performers   were awfully annoyed,  tgeir etes flashing fire at him   , that turned  into  fierce blaze  when he  spoke ho ho ho  and forgot his lines of you ho ho, it wasn't Christmas show  , what made him  say Santa clause lines , when they left hus friends  showered  choicest of abuses on him,  he was sarcastically taunted at , tgey missed their old friend who was at least reliable 

All right  he r thought  he wasn't trustworthy  but then he wasn't a murderer like them too  , for next  two weeks he with a heavy heart   carried out his stage duties 

He felt like a coward,  the daring always are ready to accept challenges and face  situations,    the bold even would let others know  he was aware of their secrets and weaknesses 

from previous

...two years were spent  dragging the suitcases,  finally he got a chance to  participate in an act , perhaps it was  at poor haily s cost,  he  wanted to believe  a young man  was introduced who gave new life to the team,  after seven months of starting his new career  they arrived in New heavens  when  haily  s dying confession   sharpened his senses  and  his memory loss ended  dramatically 

One day he was in a small compact diner with his friends,  part of hus  hard earned money was being spent on his sandwich,  he overheard a middle aged couple  in the booth discussing local news

Oh yeah they found a dead woman's skeleton near the rail tracks,  she gad a brooch  by her side,  she must have been buried under long time ago  , recent  ones don't turn to skeletons  but remain  dead bodies,  awestruck hus fork dropped onto the floor 

He had heard it from  a cousin and soon enough  newspapers will   highlight it

aitaraaf

....he stood  on one side watching him die,  he was himself just seventeen  , it was  his first  experience of witnessing  such a scene,  he  adored  haily like his own father 

Let me get you a glass of water  haily miss Nellie left the room  on getting him water  he understood she  needed an escape

Simon  flicked some of the cigarette ash onto the floor  before looking at him  ,,you don't like it do you   this death scene  his voice was  gentle 

After two minutes  haily lifted hus hand and  gestured him to come closer,  he approached him,  he spoke  inaudible,  he bent over to carefully catch hus words,  he put his ear on his lips  simply to hear what was he trying to say 

We did wrong  whispered  haily,  something very wrong  very  very wrong 

What did you do,  he kept his own voice  so low that Simon wouldn't hear , he realized haily was trying to  confide in him,  you mean  before you fell outside 

No nonot that,  years ago,  we did  that long time ago  

Who are we , I don't understand clearly  Do you mean  you and your partners  by we 

We were booked at Saint pipers  groaning haily  spoke slowly,  our show was over  and we  went  in for drinks 

With whom 

With angel 

A woman?

Yes, we killed her and buried her under the rail tracks 

page 77

... it was drizzling since morning,  unexpected  showers had lifted everyone's mood,   mother and grandma were invited to a Quran recital in the neighborhood,  dadu was busy   , the whole atmosphere was spiritually charged,  dada Jan was  enjoying the company of his visitors in the drawing room discussing  politics,  and tge four of them  had their heads together  scheming something,  zanub git a number  from baba  s mobile  and also returned it , there wasn't any problem apparently,  it was Malika who had to call her,  the new generation smart educated girl  did make the call,  the bell was ringing  but nobody attended it , nobody likes to be kept on waiting,  she attempted  two three times more,  finally  it was picked up 

Aslamalekum  , please what is it  a most  heavy throaty voice  asked 

Walekum sakam , it's Malika speaking m you can  deny our relationship but  I am not at all interested in you  , she spoke her line and breathless shut the phone 

Zanub impressed by her  performance  patted her shoulder 

Very good  you cut off the call , boys are  bad and try taking advantage of girls 

The other three were  quite thrilled by her clever act,  certain  who will now want to get married to such a rude girl,  who has no  dignity  and  has no respect for others  and is so unabashed,  who has no shame,  so confident  and dared refuse ,  Malika felt  a satisfied  sense of relief 

sakoon qalab

... in the  kitchen  the  noisy  banging of  the dishes  continued,  the girls  looked meaningfully at each other  , it wasn't possible to show your suppressed annoyance to the elders  and the younger ones didn't bother and the kitchen dishes  could only makea their presence felt by making a lot of empty noise,  now the kitchenware had become the target of cruelty,  other girls were in the lounge spread out in a competition of eating  groundnuts  challenging each other,  heaps of dried peels  becoming bigger and bigger in size as the shopper of groundnuts  emptied down  to end the race 

What is your opinion about this garara  sadra pushed the mobile towards Maryam  to display a  light purple  and pink garara     looking  absolutely stunning  with a smiling model  posing  in the outfit   but sadra remained unaffected to its charms,  no dear  let's go for plazo with a rather long shirt  instead  and  get some  lacey embroidery done on the edges of the dupatta and  neckline  suggested Maryam and  sadra agreed  readily,   zenab was engrossed uncaring of them in reading  a novel 

from previous

.... for some unknown reasons she woke up late today,  perhaps both  spent the night talking,  thankfully  they  caught the tram quickly,   life is  full swing on  the roads of Rome in Italy,  both had same  office timings,  season of spring   adds  exotic beauty to the city of Rome  turning the historical city into a fabulous sensational place,  this city buries many extraordinary historical secrets inside  itself and  is a hub of several cultures,  yet this city  tirelessly   welcomes and entertains peoples and  never becomes old , , why did she arrive here believing  her life will be fulfilled  all her dreams will come true  but nothing like that happened,  the  attractions of the fantastic city held nothing for her,  her hopes were shattered,  sitting inside the tram she sighed  and turned to look out of the window   at the faces  walking around  , not a single face was familiar  all of them were absolutely strangers 

She wasn't  like this before,  how time  changes people  dramatically she thought,  she used to be so carefree fun loving person,  life  suddenly  scattered so many problems  on her  , it was something unexpected 

Her father was a mechanical engineer  settled  in Italy for the past eighteen years,  they were two sisters,  life was good,  then  something unpredictable happened,  father  started withdrawing  financial assistance,  , mother sherwat asked father,  he explained  he was going through financial crisis,  he had no job  that's why he couldn't afford to spend more 

She assured her father not to worry at all and doing her f s c she  took up a job , life was still good and things were  working out well 

hui chahaein muqadam

,,,, the massive  waves  noisily  leaped towards the  sky to embrace it  eagerly,  the sun was about to set in the western horizon,  tge last Sundays danced on the falling and rising  waves  merrily,  she released long cool sigh 

The sea held all it's  emotions deep down inside  yet appears so  silent peaceful,  the times  are so disciplined  and  follow the paradigm of touching the shores and returning   accurately and systematically  tirelessly,  not questioning  not answering,  don't they ever get exhausted   isn't it frustrating  but the sea remains  peaceful  with all its  actively  rising and  crashing  rippling waves , is it mandatory to have  depth for  maintaining silence and peacefulness.,   it is said  only those hearts  receive  peacefulness that  are  like seas , waves always return from the sides to disappear their identity peacefully  back into the  depths of the seas , the heart  throbs  emotional waves   chaotic turbulences  ruse and fall and then the dear heart finds eternal peacefulness  finally,  it stops bothering about its surroundings  and  becomes sensitive  to retain peacefulness,  only those hearts find peacefulness  that  seek peacefulness 

Many a times  there are many possibilities  she thought  why couldn't sge find what she wanted,  she dusted her hands  lifting  them  from the damp cool sand  and stood up and turned to look at the  sun set  casting its last golden glow 

page 55

...mir sahib  you  never expected me to visit your house  like this,  I am so grateful you gave me  time to see me 

Yasser sahib,  please don't  embarrass me,  it a great pleasure for me to entertain you  he spoke rather dryly and  looked at him expectantly 

He once again  expressed his condolences on manawar sultana s death  before asking him if manawar Sultana ever had  shown fears of being killed 

He  shook his head to express he didn't know  of it 

Do you have any clue or a letter  of any type to  show  sge was going to be killed 

He got offended but  hid his facial expression  carefully  and  denied any knowledge of it curtly 

He rephrased his same question  in a different way  but he again    denied any knowledge of this  at this moment khan Muhammad  brought tea for them , they began drinking their tea  in  silence,  then he  advised him to stay alert because he was so close to manwar Sultana  he spoke meaningfully,  he remained silent  nit reacting,  he became silent and  thoughtful,  he swallowed his tea and asked him his permission to leave,  he walked him to the door   and turned but the man was persistent and wanted to talk more about manawar Sultana   but he again showed him to the door rudely,  he came back to his reading room,  he picked up Manawatu Sultana  s letter and thought  of reading it , the time showed it was quarter past seven,  hotel seven star was situated  on the other end of the city  and it was a forty five minutes drive from his house,  he decided to read the letter later  and  left to reach the hotel,  he was in the lobby of the hotel at five minutes past eight  where Malik Yamin was waiting for him 

page 52

...he was in bed reading a book , it was a Sunday  the day  reserved for reading books  and because all the family members know  he would be busy  reading till the evening nobody  bothers to disturb him

Of course one would like to know what kind  of books  he likes to read so to clarify there he is deeply interested in good literature  and not at all in cheap thrillers  but those days he was diving into one suspense  thriller   by Silvia path  the novel  he had discovered  inside an old bookstore,  he was planning  to read it  and that Sunday he began reading it

It happened like this  he had his breakfast  followed by  a light walk around   he returned to his reading room  and  started turning the pages if the novel  and  got so much  involved into it that he forgot  his surroundings  at that moment he heard a knock on his door  , he was  startled because it was a Sunday  meant to be spent only in reading  and  its  a no work  no fun day,  mobile remains shut off ,  to avoid  distractions,  his wife and both children  know he is busy reading and avoid disturbing him,  untimely  knock on the door   made him  worried , he opened the door to find his wife  panting 

What happened,  is everything alright he asked her nervously 

Nothing is alright  she gathered herself  

Will you tell me what happened he said 

It's a news 9n the television 

Take a breath and  he handed her his glass of water kept on the side table 

She swallowed the water  still  out of breath 

That manwar sultana

Who

He could not  realize  who was she speaking of

Your class fellow  mabwar Sultana  she was shot dead 

sheher bewafa

....he became a killer  merely within five months of getting married to neelam , golden dreams of a happy married life suddenly shattered,   freedom  , air-conditioned rooms,  comfortable life  enjoyments  all disappeared  with all facilities  , he now spent  his days and nights in a dark cell 

Sometimes  lying in his hard bed he would recall  the pleasures  he had embraced  , hus arms remained empty,   he would look around his terrifying  surroundings  , he would awfully  feel hurt , with his   emotionally wide tearing eyes  he could only stare at the  lock up ,  caged like a flapping  bird helplessly 

It was one  more day he missed his good and bad old times,  he came back  home one evening from his firm,  tired as usual,  emerged from the washroom  refreshed,  took a small nap and quickly got up  because he was going out for dinner with neelam his wife that night  in a hotel,  , there  was a gambling room in the hotel,  he also  was getting interested in eating  good food cuisines  happily  , life was really exciting 

He was  still getting ready carefully  , neelam was all  dressed up and taking a stroll outside in the  corridor  looking at the  flowers growing,  his house was  profusely  growing  blossoms of all types  in every  nook and corner,  the maid early morning  every day  changed the blossoms in the cases,  rooms were filled with fresh floral  perfumes, 

He was whistling and looking at himself in the mirror  and suddenly  he heard  neelam screaming  and her frightened voice calling him  kamran dear  please save me, her voice  choked inside her throat , all her words died out

fitrat

...... car brakes   screeched to an unexpected halt , had the driver nit been  alert the woman  definitely would have been run over,  she was there in the middle of the road  waving frantically to stop the car  and screaming  for help,  her hair   spread out and she was  awfully frightened 

She ran towards the car when it stopped,   pleading fir help  , someone was after her life  frequently  glancing towards the  woods 

The driver turned to look  questioningly  at the doctor iin the back seat  ,, asking  wordlessly  what to  do 

The doctor  opened his mouth to say something  when  two men emerged from the canopy of trees holding small axes in their hands the woman began  banging tge car and screaming  , 

Doctor ali  without  wasting anymore time in thinking opened the other door and gestured her to get inside,  she quickly jumped In and  noisily  banged the door shut,  the car drove off at a fast speed,  within minutes the car was  racing on  on tbe roads 

The woman  visible relaxed against the back of her seat breathing  deep  and sighing,  the   were left behind  looking helplessly  as the car disappeared  out of sight,  perhaps they didn't have any vehicle  or they would have followed the  vanishing car, when the car  was out if sight both men looked at each other meaningfully and shook hands and broke into a guffaw  and turned to go back from the same place they had emerged 

..page 10

...after arsalan life  stopped completely,  there were just two members the house,  Ghana and arsalan  s ammi,  as if happiness had turned away from them  in life,  monotonous life , both women  emotionally  shattered,  both   wrapped up in gloomy memories of arsalan   hurt and suffering,  tears had  permanently settled into their eyes, Ghana would look at her mother in law  and feel bad for her,  her only son's unexpected  untimely demise had left both women  broken,  they were   living dead , arsalan  s mother looked at her young  widow of her son her heart  pained , how  happily content was arsalan in his life  with his life companion  , every time she was aboard flight he missed her madly 

Missing Ghana  mother would ask arsalan 

I am getting used to this  ammi 

 He would say embarrassed 

This is love my dear prince 

 She would explain  affectionately 

How could you say that 

I also got used to  this loneliness  with your father,  waiting  tireless endlessly  fir him to return home,  frequently  glancing at the watch,  counting the  minutes  

Papa left  too early 

He left me  absolutely alone  in this world,  I would have quickly joined him but I had to live to raise you  you were  my only  hope of life 

Ghana filled the whole house with her lively presence,  mother  was happy for   them  , the bonding between Ghana and mother wasn't the typical  daughter and mother in law  relationship,  both were respectful  and maintained  a friendly formal relationship  mother always  prayed  when Ghana  left for work,  the three of them  together  were very  sincere to each other 

page 241

.... after a while both mother and daughter sat at the dining table facing each other,  there was a piece of paper in Molly's hand  , some mathematical  account was scribbled on it , this was the piece of paper alone with which she had gone to her room 

Mom do you remember that day  when Wendy was lost  asked Molly  in a most serious manner 

Yes of course  she had dressed up and left with someone  replied mom

Then you had handed me a red and  black  coupon  and sent me to the garage to get the  car repaired 

Oh yes I remember clearly 

At the garage  car oil also was changed  and the garage  stuck their sticker  on the car with the date and mileage  registered in it

 Molly spoke looking at the piece of paper,  the sticker is still stuck inside the car,  the odometer reading shows it had already covered  one lakh eighteen thousand four hundred two kilometers,  Molly paused and released a long sigh 

 And added  you also know  Salukis us a small township  , everything is available within  one or two kilometers diameter,  we both used the car to travel together long distance to reach that village ten miles away to find out more about  Wendy,  it means  going and returning trip was hardly twenty kilometers  so it ought to be added up becomes one lakh eighteen thousand four hundred twenty two 

What are you aiming at

Wendy is missing fifteen days 

I don't drive 

It's you answerable 

ehsaas e kamtri

..,feelings are  mandatory to humans  in life,  one cannot escape  from  feelings,  life presents  innumerable such desires   all of them cannot be  fulfilled,   humans  are  made to desire,  man cannot  live without  feelings and desires,  humans  have feelings and desires  that make them so humane  and when their desires are not fulfilled they are filled with negative feelings of hopelessness  , he goes into  a state of   low self esteem 

There are various reasons  of this  feeling  , not having enough money is the main cause,   comparing oneself with better offs in beauty states education and  skills  all lead to low self esteem,  unhappy childhood  , bad experiences in life  and   several   inabilities   push  one into  a sad state of mind,  such a pathetic person  is emotionally weak and remains  envious of others,  he cannot harm others but himself   keeps on fuming   damaging his own life and personality,  hus nature and habits   cut him off from his loved ones  , he keeps on complaining unreasonably,  he becomes lonely,  he stays depressed  ,  others  get infected by his negative feelings m this us a chronic condition of a man with low self esteem,  it gets worse and worse  if not checked  on time 

Some useful tips to tackle  low self esteem 

Like yourself 

Know your plus points 

Stay positive 

Think good 

Celebrate your accomplishments 

Learn to accept  compliments 

Inspire others 

Keep yourself busy 

Learn new skills 

Engage yourself in outdoor activities 

page 8

...her breathing  stopped,  heartbeats  slowed down  body turned to stone 

No.,no sge mumbled  this can not happen  how can this be possible,   perhaps it was her  illusion or   deception,  it couldn't be   real what she was seeing  it couldn't really be real 

Approximately after six months she was back on duty  and hiw did sge spend all this time only she could have told,  life had come to a complete stand still after arsalan  , she was now left alone with arsalan s memories,  her heart was  withdrawn from all excitements and enjoyments in life,  arsalan was her life,  he had left her all alone by herself  in a deep sea of sorrow  to himself settle down in the valley of death,  unbelievable  it was  that he proved  so unfaithful   , unimaginable it was  he would  leave her to join  something  beyond life itself,  her  eyes hurt searching for his existence  in life around her , she sat watching  intensely into the aur , overwhelmed she looked for him in the clouds above, ,  calling out for him urgently in her dreams,  he would  remain  illusive  out if reach never to return  and unresponsive,  he wasn't like this   so heartless,  , but  it was impossible to find him,  he was  sleeping buried in his grave