from previous

....and then he began speaking  slowly 

You know  I was  so passionate about  traveling different places  during  university days  he smiled   blandly  shumaila also gave an equally  matching smile 

Of course I know she said  I also remember very clearly  I  asked you to stop  that,  I still believe it is a useless  passttime  you were wasting your time,  her eyes brightened up speaking of their memorable experiences 

You  prevented me from  following my passion  because it was  for you a waste of time  , instead  I should  lend a helping hand  in my abbu  s business,  his  smiling gaze was   glued on her face 

And uncle needed you by his side  she emphatically  stressed her point 

You  were more considerate because you were in love with me  and not because you really  cared about abbu,  you didn't like my roaming about from place to place  pounding dust , he affectionately looked at his loving wife  who was also faithful   who wasn't even touched by the  passing time, 

She lowered her eyes  before his admiring gaze 

I swear what  awesome days they were,  I couldn't  stay without you  not even for a moment,  shirt time  absence seemed  lifelong  tragic  moments,  a strange fear had settled into my heart,  that these  small time  separations won't  become frequent and for ever

sehra ka phool

....27th January 

Aah one more twenty seventh January,  another   sorrowful night,  another   test of life, 

Sighing heavily he drew the window curtains aside,  outside the  night was  soaked  half way,  continuous  steady pouring since last evening  had turned tge dry January winter  suddenly  cold,  outside weather wasn't  different from his inner  complexion of his emotions,  in fact  the inner    emotional  canvas was   extremely    difficult,  outside the window  there was  a soft gentle  rhythm  of pouring rain  but inside his mindset  there was  an outstanding outpour  absolutely  different experience because of  the burning  sorrow   that had nestled  there for years giving him pain  and sleepless nights,  a feeling of guilt  was   cutting  his  soul to pieces 

Tears  spilled out  trailing down his cheeks leaving  their   traces  to  get absorbed into his outfit  somewhere,  these tears are like   companions  always present to share your  secluded sorrow  drowning  your fuming  hurt  to  lessen it to half  dividing all your painful experiences 

He  heard a sound  beside him,  he turned to see  shumaila  standing there with a coffee tray

from previous

....both were married off soon,  then they started living a life of the perfect couple, 

He helped in the kitchen,  , kneading the wheat flour dough with his hands in the sweltering heat , , sometimes  also made chapatis,  on alternate days cleaned up and  did the laundry,  scowling  all the time but that's what he had asked for,  he wanted   such a modern wife  who worked outside to earn and share financial responsibilities,  who won't depend on husband  and be a liability 

She too on the other hand  was  completely trapped into a vicious  circle of over work  to stay awake all night with the infant to leave for work early morning,  every task was challenging,   alternate  nights turn by turn  Farakh and she   took care of the infant,  naturally mothers spend sleepless nights Farakh  mostly  shirked  , going to bed uncaring of the child,  she was forced to take care of the child 

She had become a robot  working mechanically,  he had to iron his own  outfits,  he prepared his breakfast himself both were tired of this lifestyle  but now their ego was pushing them on, neither of them was ready to withdraw or give up , both  were determined to marry their  dream life partner,  both were  regretting  but the world believed  they were made for each other  ,,,perfect couple 

page 40

...she was a modern  young woman  , her personal opinion was  that she wasn't born to merely have children and spend  domestic life,, her dreams  were too many,  to fulfill them she  had worked very hard  day and night  and overtime,  she  excelled in studies  and obtained  the   top position,  she  applied  for the job of a professor in a government organization,  her  main problem was ber marriage  her family wanted her to get married while she was still young but she was focused on making a career 

Ammi invited her married friend mahira  to  discuss the matter  frankly,    that she ought to  get married when she is still marriageable , once  her youth was gone she won't be able to find suitable match,     then she will be   forgotten    by the society,  right now   mahira and she were  arguing on the topic 

Have you noticed what all demands  boys have,  the wife should be home bound  and  bear children and just be a housewife,  men want to work outside  to gain power and return home and renjoy domestic  bliss resting and taken full  control of the service of the housewife  and give orders  and expect  to be respected  , husband is completely  selfish and self centered  person  , therefore she  didn't want to get married  the idea of marriage  was annoying 

Are we all mad people who get married,  we are also educated  yet we  are subordinate  to our husbands,  mahira gave her own example 

But I don't want to be like you  , that lifestyle  I don't like at all  she was quite straightforward 

Is some angel going to fall down from  the skies just for you intervened ammi

page 231

....the family  consisted of four members  lived in the old fashioned house  , maxvill and jerry  s father  was dead  , he was unhappy about just one thing  the diamonds  he had obtained   he couldn't  enjoy  them , , maxvill  s father died regretting  , three years ago  unable to pass the diamonds to his sons and  grandsons  but he  transferred his dreams before dying into  maxvill  s eyes 

Jerry was completely  uncaring about  the diamonds he had only heard of  , ,  kristi  never believed in their  existence,  shamm was quite a kid but maxvill  always  intended intensely to find the diamonds 

Maxvill and his wife worked on a vegetable farm,  the owner of the  vegetable farm was the rudest man  maxvill had ever come across,  the owner was always ready to cut daily allowance  of workers on some  pretext  or the other ,,Jerry worked in a restaurant,  in fact  he he worked in several restaurants  to make more money,  he was  an aggressive young man  or perhaps he overreacted to the proprietors,  he didn't  stay long enough  anywhere,   jumping from first to second to third  ,  leaving  the  jobs  quickly    getting nowhere,  he was a drop out  by choice  because he wanted the best of education in the best of the institution,  heart broken  on dreams unfulfilled he merely roamed around,  sometimes he   helped his parents on the farm,  but  tge owner's attitude and parents poor condition  disheartened him , he wondered what kind of life he would have 

asap daulat

....they...they look diamonds  spoke shamm whispering 

They don't look like diamonds but are real diamonds,   real genuine diamonds declared maxvil  his gaze fixed on the diamonds on his palm

Real diamonds  exclaimed  sgamm kneeling down on the floor  ,

Absolutely real and very expensive too my son  smiled maxvil  deeply 

Whose are they  asked shamm to confirm his doubts  that they belonged to them 

These are ours , our possessions  confessed  maxvil  explosively 

What are you saying daddy, shamm looked at him in utter disbelief,  there was no reason to believe,   humble lifestyle  frugal earnings    poorly people   suddenly find  in their forgotten  store full of abandoned broken  things  real diamonds  , all of them their own  , it was hard to believe  shamm thought it incredible 

Of course you heard  it right,  that's what I said  explained  maxvil seriously 

page 235

....she had smiled faintly  and spoken  it would be a complete lie if they said the breakfast wasn't good 

Bhai  explained that was to be discussed after  the breakfast  Bhai remained silent,  phuphi  served the breakfast  on the table,  they still had not started eating  and the door bell rang,  Bhai walked towards the door to open it   he returned followed by amjadalla,  she and Bhai invited him to join them at their breakfast table  ,

He replied  sur I have had my breakfast  there was no space for more,  Bhai  cheerfully  said sister had prepared it all herself,  amjadalla  then accepted to take just two bites to taste the food,  he took  his first  morsel and began praising  , Bhai asked him what brought him so early 

There was a big problem 

Bhai looked at him questioningly,  hadayatalla  explained    goats from shehnaz  s brothers   ran into zamyar s field,  so he shot the giants down  and beat the brothers of shehnaz  badly  that they were admitted into the hospital 

arzu

...arzu  became aware before growing up that her parents were murdered  , that  she   had only one  relative  alive in this cruel world her phuphi  saira,  , it was her first  birthday,  her both maternal uncles  came in and shot down her parents dead 

Saira phuphi   answered  and  explained  all her questions,  her parents were wonderful persons  , extremely brilliant in studies  , they aspired to become highly qualified  government officials,  to fulfill their dreams they worked very hard  , they had earned o level and a level  positions,  they  were  outstanding,  their interviews were  highlighted in newspapers,  they appeared for competitive  exams,  they topped the merit list,  clearing all tests  bhai was posted at abatabad,  parents  were  told by faras bhai  the candidates were not given  home postings,  rules were rules  , first they should  gain experience and then take charge of district  postings,  father was silent, bhai left for duty  and joined his office at havelia 

Two months later a  school teacher was made hostage by a politician  s son , the girl s father  filled a report,  faras bhai  called him to his office  and  started questioning him  to find out if the female teacher willingly had gone with the abductor or was it really a genuine case of abduction 

page 194

....tge extremely  injured policemen were  moved out of the crime scene  as the ambulance rushed towards the hospital,   , the  investigation began,  the senior officer who was following jasim  gave his statement,  that jasim  stole a car to escape,  he pointed towards the car  his tone was strange,  they chased him , the crazy man   left his lane and  reached    the oil tanker 

Just a minute,  who are you talking about  , who is the car robber,  there  is no burnt body inside the crushed car

Sir , it's disappeared  I have no clue about it, he looked around in sheer disbelief,  his tone now was  worried,  when we were chasing him he was  driving the car,  he was present in the  driving seat,  we were all shocked  why did he commit suicide  after all he was fleeing  away 

page 40

..look here  dear brother  God made man to do outdoors  duties  and protect woman and family  , woman was made to work indoors  take care of family needs and bear children  raise them  its  a responsibility their duties are different and they are different from each other,  look at me  I am your elder sister would you  say the same for me 

I knew it the moment I will share my thoughts  you all will humiliate me  but when I was not speaking nobody let ne remain silent  you all provoked me , appi you  just tell me what is my  fault  if I am a male , why have all the  stress and struggles of life  burdened onto me , women enjoy more  the journey of life than I do,  she desires social status and  stability as much as I do  then  why doesn't she  support me and  together  we work to achieve our goals , she is ready to enjoy status  but nit ready to share responsibility 

perfect couple

.... amma  put down   the tea cup on the table  and Farakh quickly  picked up the hot steaming cup to take a sip

All that the parents wish is to see their son  do well in life  to become qualified and responsible  followed by another dream of his getting married,  raising him was a lifetime  achievement,  parents want to retire and keep their life peacefully,  daughter in kaw would take over  the entire household chores,  she us expected to take care of the elderly,  tgey would also  be able to relax for the rest of their life,  amma speaking her mind  out sat down  supporting her paining knees with her hands  beside him 

No amma I am not going to get married he banged tge tea cup down on the table 

Why not dear son why don't you want to get married fir heavens sake amma looked at him  worried 

It wasn't the first time  the topic had come up,  every time amma  spoke of marriage   he would   get annoyed 

Because amma you won't let ne choose my bride,   so why should I  

Now just look at this   is this any good reason  you tell me about your  choice  I will let you marry anyone  you want just let me know and  you will be married to her  amma managed to find the solution in seconds 

Amma you wrongly think I have selected someone it's not like that,  I have spent all my life  studying and eating I never got a chance to like any girl  it's final I simply don't want to marry anyone of your choice  that's it

page 181

....amen said was an intelligent  and clever girl,  she was busy studying in her college,  Ahmed  hasn her class fellow was also there with her,  their finals were near,  he was now and then also  looking at his messages on the mobile,  amen  scolded him fir being distracted  but he always found  a way to receive and read the messages,  both were good friends besides classmates  , most likely they  were compatible and like minded  drawn to each other,  this could  certainly lead to their marriage,   but his  circle of friends  were not good,  they weren't serious about their career  and future  , they enjoyed  loafing around  getting drunk and   drugged,  after college they liked  wasting their time  on the road,  their bad habits    lead them to meet more of their types and  quickly they became addicts,  amen tried to convince him out if this Nasty  web , she wanted to protect him from the wicked world,  but he refused to  listen to her , he was the only son of his mother,  if he didn't bother about his mother  who was amen  to her , simply nobody   , all the addicts were sending him messages  he was   looking at,  they were calling him to join the squad , amen  had some  power to control him  but he made some excuses and left,  she  accused his rascally friends  for his uncaring  behavior 

zehrrnak

...mahim was in her cabin scribbling on a pile of paper,  on one side of her  files were kept  on the other side a laptop,  m looking  at the texts on both sides  sge was  quickly taking down notes , she was so busy she was not aware her boss abrar s presence,  he  coughed to catch her attention,  sunk  deep into her work sge looked up startled 

What  happened 

Sir, I am working on drug smuggling 

page 175

....fragrant is forest  in bloom where are you 

Boughs  green laden in spring  where are you 

Tales innumerable in books where are you 

World follows  faiths  where are you 

Nestled on the blossoms are tears of dew

First  Sunrays are casted where are you 

Disheartened by the wicked world where are you 

Merciful  Master  of ruthful  speech where are you 

The world is divided 

Where do we belong 

page 162

....now what is going to happen  asked  ghulam Muhammed  s wife  

It will happen like this  answered he  those who have to make allotments will  go to higher courts 

Then 

Inshalla  everything will work out in our favor 

How long 

Let's see 

In this  case of allotments  a most suitable  match  for Samna  slipped away  spoke  mona  unhappily 

Don't you worry,  let's wait for the plot , after selling   half  of it off  we would have sufficient amount  to find even better  match 

Marriage proposals are not kept on sale  that you can buy when you have money 

I will  use newspapers  to catch a match,  after all Sam and will be  the bride to be from a well off well to do family with money,  just wait and watch  long lines of  suitors 

What hopes  let's see 

Of course  modern marriages are  made thus people don't have time  to look for  life companions for their children  door to door 

page 161

...you did say didn't you 

I will always be there for you 

Putting your hands on my eyes 

You will  fight the world for me 

Never will you change  l

ike unpredictable weathers 

I shall constantly protect you 

Trust me wait for me I will come back to you 

Helplessly  I believed in your words 

Trusted you  unmindful of consequences 

Believing you were mine 

Invested complete faith in you 

But my dear foe of life

Your lies defeated  false weathers 

You never came back as promised 

But seasons did return  once again 

On the new year  you declared 

I will come back 

You didn't  but see

Another new year has arrived 

shaka

... during the ceremony  the  warrior  dancer entered the  thick forest  where he met shaka   who on the first glance asked him who was he 

Clad in leather outfit   braids hanging on his shoulders,   a garland of ivory beads  round his neck  and one metal  dagger ,  long and rounded  ear rings , nose was pierced  cheek  tattoo  showed a half moon  crescent , weird appearance  suggested  he was not a natural  native   above all his height and heavy built  body was completely different 

Shaka not answering  moved forward 

Wait my friend,  today  because of you  I am alive 

The man  stretched his arm  forward,  shaka stared for a while at the outstretched hand  before  holding it

from previous

....this happened  just before  aslam arrived,  when barkat  bibi came to her room,  she who wasn't  getting out of her room  because she was so scared  seeing her instantly jumped  up  to stand  attention 

Why didn't you  send for me instead of climbing upstairs on your paining knees 

Doesn't matter much,  I had to speak to you urgently,  her face  looked  serious,  she sat down  on the bed  supporting her knees  , sge also sat down  quietly next to her with her eyes lowered 

Amma I am not lying  I tell the truth,  I am   innocent,  she choked on her words , something salty stuck inside her throat 

Whatever you said I have heard it carefully,  you know why,  her tone was questioning,  she  lifted her head to look at bibi 

Because I know you are truthful,  when you went into the room with Ahmed  I went out shopping  necessary  things,  not to disturb Ahmed  I didn't tell you,  today ashraf was home,  he didn't go to work,  I told him and left for the market,  half way  through I realized I had forgotten the money  home,  the purse I carried was empty,  without money  it was useless going any further  so I decided to go back,  one duplicate key to the door is always inside my  purse,  of course you know it but ashraf doesn't 

page 33

...when aslam  stepped into the room  bano was packing  her luggage,  her hands were moving  fast  ,  it was  unexpected and sudden  trip,  so many  small little things  for manna  she was repeating  the list mentally over and over  again and again  as she  put them   aside 

Aren't you ready 

Almost done,  all necessary  things are put together,  small  not so important   ones that  were sill  not  arranged are also  packed up  she explained without looking at him  in a matter of factly manner 

She was trying to avoid looking at him  to hide her feelings  her eyes swollen from crying  could reveal  , therefore she was  acting  busy 

I still can't believe it amma herself asked me to take you with me  because she was never in favor of  sending you with me,  speaking  so his voice  brightened up as his face 

He had arrived just two hours ago  when amma had called for him  , amma just few minutes ago  decided and declared  bano was going with him,  he was so  happy  he always wanted bano to live with him  but amma  lived alone  so he remained silent 

Bano if left with him  amma would be left behind all alone , ashram was a mill worker,  his working hours kept him away from dawn to dusk outside 

from previous

.... in his early youth  farid was  drawn towards  shakila ,  both didn't take long to get married,  both had similar  middle class family backgrounds,  shakila  had to face opposition from her unwilling parents  who were  against this  marriage  but she remained   quite adamant  and refused to change her mind,   finally parents  gave in and the lovers were  able to get married,  initially  it was  a most pleasant experience and life was filled with love and joy,  sgakila proved it to her parents her decision was perfect  it was  a successful marriage 

To increase  family income  shakila  began  giving tuitions at home  ,to groups of small  school students,  it was a private academy,  they  still had no bloom   in their family  , yet they maintained a healthy lifestyle for more than two years,  as luck would have it, farid  s mother   became sick  and  had to go through  severe treatment  for months   before  her death,  both brothers gad  jointly  taken care of their dying mother and  expenses were shared equally,  farid  had  slightly spent  a little more than his elder brother ,  shakika was expecting  , financial  status was low  expenses were increasing,   stressful life  and unaffordablity  go hand in hand together 

pukar

.... job seekers are taken to place to place  , he was a government school teacher,  just recently  he along with his  wife and two children  moved to Lahore from rawalpindi  , he was allotted a rented house  in a colony,  it was a middle class locality,  it was fifth  day  after they had shifted  there when during the night he heard  the  voice for the first time,  wife and children were  fast asleep,  he was in that half  waking state  , from the street  a  strange voice rose  ,    the voice  belonged to an elderly person  asking to be let in , tge tonal  quality  had an odd sounding  throatiness  and  a mysterious  impatience, tge voice hit his midstream  before getting down deep into his system,  this person was  telling someone he had arrived  but why

A couple of nights later again  this voice  rise  but it wasn't night time  exactly  , it was just after  sunset,  he and his wife were watching television,  similar  themes all soap  dramas   revolve around,  romance,  love stories,  engagement,  marriage  divorce   legal arguments  , on hearing the mysterious voice  he lowered the television volume   and turned to look at his wife 

She explained it must be some beggar,  she woke up   last night to drink water  and heard the same voice  

page 112

..it was  one of the most  important  modern and clean residential area located on Tariq road,  he  lived in a flat alone,   he had arranged  his rooms  in such a way  that   to others it appeared  a small family setup,  master bedroom  for the children  was  fully furnished and equipped for children,  expensive comfortable  sofas in the lounge  were  present,  after all  why not   , it was a doctor's house 

basat had  on several occasions  spoken  lies to the  village couple  it was  professionally correct though,  he was surprised to know even they had nit been  truthful to him entirely,  it must have been definitely their  helplessness,  before going to bed  the previous night he gad sent the reports to his partner 

Today when basat opened his eyes  he found  rabanda sitting in the lounge sofa,  the three had spent the night  gossiping lightly,  then he realized she wasn't  a stupid village  woman  but Salim certainly was  a fool,  tabada  dropped her  naive shy  behavior  and became  more frank 

Salim wasn't seen around,  exchanging  polite courtesies  basat glanced around  and asked for  Salim 

He is gone out   for a smoke 

page 103

....no doubt  fear is a reality  but he had never witnessed such a frightening scene in his entire life before 

Rana Salim was an experienced  police station master,   posted in that station for two years  , he had  seen many strange cases  but a swinging head still attracted to the body was absolutely different,  headless body  was found  I the  cot on the floor  , looking from a distance it appeared  the body lay in a dried up pool of blood  and  the head was replaced by a helmet 

A shiver ran down his spine  on the first glance  shudders followed,  he froze   but he remembered  he was there to investigate  very carefully he stepped into the  crime scene   not wishing to unwittingly  destroy any evidence 

He  scanned  the surroundings  professionally,  for furniture in the room there was just one cot   placed on the right  next to the entrance door  , the room was otherwise bare

from previous

... in the city center  jahangir  mirza s  grand majestic   house  was situated,  he stopped his car  near the gate  and pressed a finger on the vell button,  a servant opened the door,  mentioning  afzal sahib he asked to see  jahangir mirza  and  walked in , what a regal lifestyle  scene   that room presented,  what could  gave  been the reason he was called,   why was he alone  selected  , some time later he emerged  and asked him to bring the car inside  there was a  hard road through the  trees leading to the house  , he brought the car onto the road,  the road was lined with trees on either side,  blue patch of a swimming pool became visible  , outside the building there was a massive veranda  decorated with  excellent expensive  furniture and sofas , walls mounted with trophies of hunted beasts and  their  skins , the car was stopped near tge canopy of trees,  he was asked to sit down in a sofa,  then the servant opened the door and went inside,  he sat down and looked around,  each and every piece  was saturated  with quality and money,  , every thing highlighted  he was going to meet a hunter who had spent millions on the trophies  surrounding him, , he had not even seen half of the stuffed animals when jahangir mirza entered the hall holding a cigar in his fingers 

page 94

....afzal sahib spoke in somber tone,  one of his students needed his help he couldn't reveal his name though,  but  he had done  lots of favors for him,  it happened during his  young years  when he was  a college lecturer,  he git the job because of the student's father 

, besides this also there are many more  times they had  helped him,  now it was his turn to pay them back   and show his  gratitude,  that was the reason he had invited the lawyer,   he looked at afzal sahib  in awe as he finished his own last sandwich 

Afzal sahib smiled at him encouragingly,  his student was married,  he is happy with his marriage  but a few days ago in sheer rage he gave her a triple divorce,  wife naturally left him to go back to her father's house  she frankly told her father all about her situation,  her father 

from previous

....she was weeping incessantly  her arms wrapped around  her knees,  her heart trembled  like an autumn  falling quivering leaf thinking  about her uncertain future,  amma had not spoken to her yet but she kept on silently looking at her 

She thought what if she didn't believe her narrative, it would be impossible to explain  if she was asked,  what if amma  told aslam every thing,  would he consider her innocent or discard her , what if aslam  found her guilty and threw her out of his life,  where could she go, she had no other choice  no other place except this one,  what if aslam  took away her son too  , she looked  at her three ear old  Ahmed sleeping by her side  with  deep motherly  affection 

Her eyes were  constantly  pouring,  surrounded  amidst those   unhappy   thoughts  when a knock on the outer door drew her attention,  at that time she was upstairs inside her her room  from that window she had jumped out

She heard the door opening 

It was  a small house  barely  built in a few square feet,  the house also   had an open yard,  the voices from downstairs were easily carried upstairs,  without  taking a peek she could tell  the  curious womefolk  from the neighborhood  who were  waiting outside  were now standing there in the yard 

ainey ke peechey

...khla barkaty s daughter in law  jumped out of  her room window,  this was the latest news today  reaching  every household like a jet airplane,   broadcasting  with speed in the street

 The majority of population of that street  were residents from lower class , everyone knew everyone,  , they all were close  together  , whatever occurred  even the slightest of   occurrence   within seconds   became common knowledge  this was  really an outstanding news surprising and and important 

How innocent her looks are  hardly twenty and yet so daring unbelievable,  bano became  the talk if the  street community,  safya khala even bit her own  finger 

It was certainly a suicide bid , it was definitely  a case of depression,  nobody could imagine what was going on 

Sharta khala  s  daughter in law  who was the only highly educated in the entire clan  was  a school graduate,  , a student of psychology  sge rightfully  believed belonged to a psychologist  s  profession  spoke her mind out that she didn't like  the depressed woman who had attempted to commit suicide  ever since she was married  into the family 

from previous

...hamira was eagerly waiting for him at home,  she usually  is back from college  at three afternoon but perhaps that day she was on leave  she spoke bitterly  she was aware he was  number one liar  but fatal sahib was hopeless she had met his driver  he was forced to go on leave  to the village for some days  she was  falsely told the driver had left the job,  she demanded an explanation what exactly was going on  and where  had the two of them been 

He shook his denial  he didn't know anything  perhaps the driver really had gone to the village,    and he was in the morning attending  meeting  and he returned with afzal sahib 

Hamira  explained  director education murtaza sahib was her known  and he informed her that the meeting was to be held the following day  and now  truthfully tell her quickly what important secret meeting  was held between just the two of them 

He swallowed before answering  the meeting is postponed   it used to regularly held on this day  before  , the date was changed a few days earlier  now really the meeting will be held tomorrow  afzal sahib was not aware of the latest developments 

nadida wajud

....how  strange it was that he was madly in love with her yet  completely  unaware of her  being,  what age was she  he didn't know he had never seen her  only   experienced her presence   and  spoken to her sometimes,  she  had become his guide in darkness for some hours  next morning  early she Was removed from there,  now she was  gotten into his system,  he would shut his eyes to see her in his mind s eye as a dark  apparition  that doesn't have any particular face and features 

khabardar

...   soon  it was  going to be sunset but the blazing sky was not surrendering  , it was  the month of May   some  dare   and usual  very still , no breeze  absolutely  stark eye piercing  heat , it was completely  impossible to breathe normal  in that sizzling air,, it felt tge tongue had dried up   and turned to a piece of leather  and  the throat prickly, summer on its superlative  climax  , wheat was in its last phase of harvest  he was present in his office   carrying out his professional  responsibilities 

picture texts

..from the times of Pharaohs  the ancient civilizations  used  pictures  as scripts,  these hieroglyphics  are  kept in British museums   as relics  of historic past , one stone found by napoleon    explains  how to decipher  the pictures to understand the contents,  

 The Greeks also  are said to have  been using hieroglyphics  on their walls  

page 55

...life is a beautiful butterfly  that attracts everyone fluttering its colorful wings  before disappearing amidst canopies of blossoms 

.

.every person who  leaves you is not necessarily a cheat  likewise everyone who supports you isn't yours 

.

.love  is intrinsically  possessive  doesn't let go , won't release,  will not easily free   itself from its love

.

.some can never  understand the world,  they are lost forever in the crowd 

.

.he who gives  wants quick  profitable returns  this idea alone contaminates the quality of life 

.

.

from previous

 It was a Sunday,  full of energy and   activities,  Reza was  removing  cobwebs,   another one was arranging the cabinets,  nimmi was busy in the kitchen  banging up the utensils 

Reza did you  deposit the electricity bill 

Yes mamma 

Tipu did you arrange the things properly 

Of course yes his strong voice was positive 

Reza  dear , what is the result of the academy  you are going to 

A one mamma  he  answered  wiping the fan,  he taught at the center 

Nimmi was busily  preparing  vegetables now,   Nani was watching the whole scene  rejectedly, the reason   nimmi  s beauty 

Why this office like  setting  finally Nani scolded her daughter,  these are the times for the  children  to play  and you  ...she rebukingly  glared at her daughter  , you are pushing them into  groceries,  settling the bills and  employment  vicious circles 

Isn't that good ammi,  starting from now   learning to be active  will be helpful to them in practical life 

humein udney do

....the sky  was draped in  black, the weather turned  exciting,  elusive winds merrily  flirted with surroundings,   f g college  walls were soaked wet , the trees began  swaying  drunkenly,  all the girls ran to take  shelter inside the canteen,  warmth in the kitchen and  anjum appa s handmade  hot samosas were quite tempting   , served with  steaming tea,  amidst all this activity  faryal group     began   singing noisily  and  using the tables as  drums  to give the beat to 

Punjabi folk song 

We fell in love with you 

Our hearts  long for you 

The atmosphere completely changed  , all the girls happily joined  the singing group,  one song followed by another  back to back  musical performances  warmed up the  whole place,  aroma of samosas and pakodas  filled their hearts with satisfaction,  their day was made 

badlata roop

....it was a   dark autumn  mournful and soulful  when turner bought a house,   the special thing about the house was  that the woman turner  passionately was in love with for forty years was found dead with her sister in the same house 

He already was aware  he was buying a  monument,  the master bedroom where the bodies were found  he left it and  settled down into a smaller bedroom,  it was a most beautiful two storey house built in red brick 

Every inch of the house including the furniture  was  a memorial of the dead sisters,  turner could only change the bedroom  he couldn't  get rid off of their furniture and luggage 

Turner was sixty m from a small town and lived alone,  he didn't have children  he was never married,  he was  ready to marry Molly anytime  but she never  accepted his proposal 

Now it was certain he would  die unmarried  , he knew  the distance between him and his grave was closing up 

from previous

... in that township  residents loved the old traditional methods of farming  though the young were mostly seen on bicycles,   thus was   the  season  and the entire area had a  vacant look,  due to extreme weather conditions in severe cold nobody ventured out of their warm comfort zones,  he would have himself  stayed home if  his job had not demanded his attention,  Gabriel had not even exited the gates of the town  and he suddenly found himself standing before her , she gad pulled on her head  a  wheat  paper carry bag  with crudely holes cut out for her eyes and nose,  her full body was completely covered in white  long  loose traditional gown  , it seemed someone had wrapped her up 8n a sheet,  he quickly stopped Gabriel

Wait   for me Bahar 

such ki talash

....it was going to be seven in the morning 

Yet there was dark  still all around,  thick fog had contributed  invisibility  to the surroundings,  the bone chilling air was killing besides,  the  incessant snow fall during the night had turned the small township into a freezer,  Harvey  shivering despite his  overcoat  walked  as fast as his legs would  on the vacant street,  he was rather on the heavier side  and not tall  an ordinary man,  he was in his sixties,  he held a bundle in one of his hands  , it was  wrapped up in a plastic cover,  he carried it carefully,  his umbrella was held in his left hand,  it was tied  up at that time,  he was using it as a walking stick,  he was  dressed up and  put on his woollens in layers   sweaters coat and overcoat  a warm cap on his head  but he was still not warm enough and  shivering 

page 9

...crossing the threshold of childhood taimur made friends with several local lads , one common factor amongst them all was  that they all grew up together  riding horses  , familiar with every inch of samarqand  roads sideways fields  open grasslands  because  they strived to be the best  to be above all  more capable competitions were held to show their abilities  , bow and arrow was their main  expertise,  their favorite sport was  let's play war, these archers  were good hunters too ready to shoot down any flying bird with perfect accuracy,  after  hunting these boys had a special  follow up program  and that was to carry  their  trophy back to their imaginary fort of victory 

qatil maseeha

.... within seconds  Maya rani emerged from the next room  , her face was enraged,  her two  guards were escorting her ,Maya rani completely ignoring them stamped past  to reach the hall  it was called tamboora  by the natives,  they followed her  into  the  tamboora, , she approached a alligator and hit it  and screamed  fiercely  dolma dolma  Maya rani  s voice was resounding 

From one corner  rise the approaching sounds of footsteps,  chief  guard dolma  striding  had reached there in the tamboora hall , hearing the noise  several other men and women  crowded  in the assembly,  and then  the faces of Maura and others  apparently  the noise had  drawn them to that spot 

Maya rani looked at maira and others ,  her face  was  blazing  shiny 

What is happening asked innocently  Maira  it was certain  maira and rai were absolutely unaware of the latest developments  that  the secret was blown up

Maya rani  in broken hundi asked them who else could know what exactly was happening except them , her meaningful tone  startled both rai and  Maira  , some more armed female guards of dolma had surrounded  them 

page 8

....the young horse rider  came back to sit down in his  favorite place,  he was profusely sweating after hours of  horse riding  but he was still looking fresh and strong and nit drained out,  he stretched his arms  and relaxed  , his eyes were fixed on  the samarqand road   used specifically by the wealthy Iranian  merchants  and their caravans,  the sight of passing  caravans   was  most pleasing 

Amidst the Iranian  caravans  were women in face  covers  surrounded by guards , these  veiled women  appeared  more attractive  than the open faces of the local women,  , the Arab men were lean and also   traders , silk and carpets and other precious  things were carried  , sometimes  pale faced slaves were seen following them  in dust,  , besides these people  beggars  holding their bowls  aimlessly  roaming from town to town were also a common sight 

The masked women , the lean Arab traders,  the pale dusty slaves and the vagabond beggars   along with  the jews on mule backs  and frequently Hindu  businessmen robbed by  afghan highway robbers were seen  screaming 

 

aqidatmand

...Michigan,  1990 bell creek 

It was   spring season  Diana Newton  thirty four year old celebrity  rose at sunrise   freshened up to get ready before leaving for work, she was an established anchor  on two local television stations  WUHQ , she lived in a faraway  from the city life in a two storey farm house,  therefore sge had to wake up early to reach the television station on time for the morning show,  she was ready and looking for her briefcase,  at that moment her husband Brad  called her from the ground floor  kitchen  that breakfast was ready  , she was expecting her second,  , perhaps this was the reason she  was ravenous  frequently,  she cautiously  climbed down the stairs   to join ber firstborn daughter  two years old sitting at the breakfast table on her high chair waiting fir Diana,  tge family of three ate their breakfast,  then Diana kissed her daughter Molly on her forehead  and walked towards the door,  her husband forty three  usually  prepared them breakfast regularly  , be was assistant professor in criminal justice at Michigan University 

from previous

Manhat  reached home  , the voices  rising from the room  stopped her midway,  her elder brother  marhad and his wife raunaq jahan  were arguing   on a high pitch,  hearing her name she clung the wall   to more attentively  catch the bombing  between her brother and his wife murder was saying  ever since you have arrived in this house after marriage  me and my sister  never gave you any trouble  we didn't restrict you from doing what you want,  we gave you full control of the entire household and only only you  had the power and authority to give  orders,   you are stubborn selfish and  self centered but we never  stopped you,  but the matrimonial proposal you have  brought fir her I am totally against it  and she won't accept it  for sure 

Ragnar jahan  roared ferociously  to put on glasses of practical life and look at his sister,  what  a dark complexion  , no matter what her features are without  fair complexion  she is not noticeable,  do many  suitors arrived but she was rejected if  unwittingly the brightness of youth is  gone  you both brother and sister will   regret it for life 

humraaz

As usual  following the routine  emerged  from the school  farzin and  narhat  to  step into their favorite restaurant  to let's have tea , both  liked the burgers and  tea in this restaurant  because  they could comfortably  sit  and discuss  their  personal matters   and  current affairs wiping the plates of  burgers clear  and  pouring  hot tea down their throats,   this tea break  revived their exhausted  forms  filling them up with renewed energy they were depleted of since morning,  it was a relaxing  experience for them,   to listen and  tell   and then  leave  to go their respective ways 

Both  would  pay the bill nit splitting  it because they belonged to the same clan,  reaching home  they skipped  day time meal  for two simple reasons,  first they were happily  eaten burgers with tea and second  they were on the plumper side,  water also worked like  evaporated butter on them 

After  a while  the topic of marriage    came up,   farzin  biting into the burger  lowered her eyes  and   forced her memory  to   pointedly  ask marhat  if  by God's grace  weren't visitors expected at her place  did they turn up or it was merely a  rumor 

Manhattan was sipping her steaming hott tea , the  sudden question  changed the taste of her tea to  bitter  unable to swallow  it, she couldn't answer  immediately,  an ominous silence  descended between them 

shaka

..year  2020

Vastok army base -Russia Sofia  exited the plane  and   observed   there was some kind of  unexpecred excitement going around in the army base,    the army was actively  seen moving  around the small  airbase 

Hello miss Sofia  major Smith greeted her noticing her presence,  she was   to be quickly ushered to the checking center  to be once again  taken back to the airbase to catch the flight to research center m it was a carrier plane  loaded with  groceries and medicines,  Sofia was not permitted to stay at the research center more than two days 

page 147

Pressing the ballpen in  his right hand fingers  mikeal was lost in deep reverie,  still  lost in thoughts he lit his cigar m he and Paterson were neighbors fir decades  ever since his first marriage  when he married tge second time  and  when Agnes came to live with him,  both marriages failed,  but  Paterson   and Agnes  behavior was unexpected  mikeal once again  bent  towards the table where   reports sent by Lara were kept , she was a patient of multiple personality disorder   result of harassment by the caretaker   treatment is given to the person  living multiple personalities,  kalsi and mona were also two different types of personalities  Agnes was leading,   , she had killed  George and police officer Grant  nit as Agnes but when she was kalsi 

,  mikeal took up the case and immediately knew it was a  complicated psychological problem,  

Now mikeal was divided  between ethical and  professional standards,  should he show favor to Paterson because of him his mother  s life was saved or should he  be arrested for his  negative role,  personally  mikeal liked Paterson   for being the savior only because of his timely  help his mother had survived,  finally he clicked pictures of tge reports from Lara on mobile and sent them to Paterson,   at least this much  he could do as a return favor 

khatarnak masum

....Agnes when entered the office  four eyes  most carefully  scanned her  even when she reached her desk and took her seat  these were  kalsi and mona s eyes

The girl is completely a whore it was kalsi  s comment, sometimes she oversteps her limits  mona took Agnes s side

But look at the side if her skirt , is that the way to dress up to go to office,  kalsi was not withdrawing her opinion 

Mona again  softly  but firmly  supported  Agnes for whom she had a soft spot 

Titally Unaware of the  gossiping tongues  Agnes gad got herself busy in her work,  sometimes she really  got  worried  with the two of them  who  kept on wagging their tongues not  letting her speak  all she could do was to ignore them,  Agnes was fully aware sge was being discussed,  sighing  heavily she would carry on with her own life 

During  the office hours she tried hard to focus on her job and avoid tge girls  she in fact was successful in maintaining her composure,  ever since sge broke up from  George  she was  feeling low  she wanted to  have another boy friend  to lift herself out from that  depression 

Anyway the clock  ticked on,  Agnes   constantly worked  as kalsi and mona gossiping  spent the time,  it was time to  wind up,  she gathered her  work   , narender on the next  desk  also was ready to  leave,  laughing he offered coffee to Agnes 

No , I have a date to reach,  she lied 

She exited  for there was no need to mix with  the other  types  she believed firmly  friends should be of the same kind 

from previous

..why do you worry,  she is an educated girl,  she can decide for herself what is good from bad 

But she is so pure and innocent  and the world so cruel  rosy

Look here  Ibrahim  I have done enough for her and can't do anything more  holding the coffee mug she sat down  beside him in a chair,  dancing  all night in the bar   she is depleted of all physical and financial energy,  she stood up having  said what was in her heart 

That poor soul   can't  lift her burden nor shift it on others  but his  guilt was   killing him 

Whatever you say or think but I won't  I couldn't do it 

She was dressing up to go to the bar  holding the coffee mug she exited ,  he   sunk beneath the weight of his own helplessness  he looked  at his crippling foot and was frustrated 

This woman for whom he gad discarded all his close relationships  with his wife and children  nit very long ago  , rosy s husband Ahmed hasin worked  with Ibrahim on the same farm in Rome,  both men had become very close soul mates because of their  common faith,  they visited each other's homes frequently,  Ahmed hasin was an Indian from Delhi,  his family was very well educated,  rosy also   belonged to a decent cultured family background in Delhi ,   they had a son , life was good,  rosy was a ultramodern,  no doubt  Ibrahim was a friend of Ahmed  but she began   flirting with him 

page 21

....what do you want from me after all,  she was once again  arguing with him on the phone,  he was  by now  quite  uneasy  he didn't want to speak to her at all , she shouldn't  contact him  

She was upset  she Was saying that  he was  so  important to her in life 

He stressed that   all her schemes  were revealed  and she and her  words left no impression on him any longer 

How cruel you are wali to  believe my love for you is  merely cheap   drama,  , at least  he  must  think before accusing her of her  false love 

Her tone was so   much saturated with pain that he too  became silent  , the silence between them  was  maintained for some time,  how could he  talk to the woman he had been  in love with,  she was the only person who mattered to him  but she left him for another,  when he had wanted  her  truly  , he was  left alone  but why was she now  turning to him,  Walid had changed  he wasn't who he used to be, from that point  onwards  he had learned to live  in the real sense 

Please wali do listen to me

Walid silently shut off the phone 

page 125

 On a city street two young men  strolling  looked around at the city lights,   akram and  January  , both  worked during the daytime  and spent the  loafing around,  , they liked  looking at tall buildings and lightnings,  shining cars running on the smooth roads,  Marjan was tired,  he needed to take a rest  but akram  was engrossed in some deep thought 

Come on friend  spoke Marjan yawning  let's go  back and  sleep  for  the remaining hours 

Akram listening to him git irritated,  you want to sleep  and my sleep has   disappeared looking at these dazzling lights 

The city has lots of wealth  , they spend it on lights and  glamor 

For them  man has no value,  the poor  are worthless to them,  the starving  the deprived  are crawling  creeps to them,  akram expressed his feelings  all their wealth is used on buildings cars and  dazzling lights 

Strangely that was absolutely right 

from previous

..are you married 

The accused  instantly  retorted  he was  once upon a time married the  lawyer asked if his wife was dead 

No he shook his head  calmly  sge was alive and somebody else's companion 

So that is it, the  prosecution  cleverly  kept on asking  loaded questions 

So you gave divorce to your wife 

No she took khula

 His strength of serenity  was praiseworthy 

Woman usually goes fir the option of khula  when she is not happy with her husband  and  the husband is not ready to give her a divorce 

Absolutely this is commonly seen the accused  replied  shortly 

The court would like to know  what exactly was your wife's complaint against you  that sge was forced to take khula 

The defense lawyer objected at this point,  the client's  past was not relevant to the case 

The prosecution  insisted he was  trying to prove his point  it was a delicate    but important question 

Objection overruled  declared the judge in his  heavy voice 

from previous

... sir you must have heard the urdu  saying  he spoke rather with an attitude,, a bad name is worse than  bad deeds 

Of course I have heard of this  he nodded his head  , the same is happening to me 

It is  natural to happen  he tried to give an explanation,  don't you worry  don't give up  face your challenges,  remember only one thing  you must go on 

If an innocent child fails down into a drain to save him you have to also get down  into the filth ,  it's  certain  the savior in this  matter will   soak himself  from head to toe  in dirt   , without which he can't   get the child out, 

He looked at him  startled  , agreeing  with him he nodded and said  yes you are absolutely right beg sahib 

So now all you have to do is change your perspective,  your dignity is fallen from grace into a ditch  , just to get it back  safely you must  get into the ditch yourself,  you will find yourself completely   soaked into  the dirt your spirit  face reputation  name status,  it's  not strange  don't get affected by what people say about you let them  do and think as they  may ,  it's between your fallen name and their fallen  thinking,  be strong  and face your situation with serenity don't bother  what others think,  you know it you are innocent 

page 102

The matter was extremely delicate and of  sensitive  nature,  usually   the lawyer community  thinks  hundreds of times before  taking such cases  but he  without  giving it another thought  quickly  took it up as a challenge  of  complications 

It happened  some  forty five years ago   yet so clearly etched on his mind , it was   a freezing morning in the month of January,  he was   junior  at the sessions court , the judge had  occupied his seat   he   presented  hus client's  papers , Ahmed Hamid was the name of his client  a professional science teacher,  besides the school job he also had a coaching center  privately held at his place,  after his own name  tge coaching center was called  Ahmed academy  where  several  students  weak in the subject  attended  regular classes,   he followed a strict rule of not teaching the students  of  the school he worked in  at his small  center at home,  simply because he was an honest teacher and gave himself fully  in school  therfore  his school students didn't need extra coaching 

page 90

....he  left showbiz  for good  once and for all  never to look back,  he couldn't care less about  his old  companions   not bothering to stay in touch with them  and  completely forgot about that phase of his life 

He became a salesman  selling  encyclopedias  door to door,  he was certain he was  doing the perfect thing perfectly,  then he met the  girl he married,  his life  took a  steady  course   , he was quite happy with life,   nine years  after  the stage  he saw Simon  again,  he was window shopping  when he heard his name being called 

Hey buddy he was hearing this term for himself after ages,  he uncontrollably turned  to look,   Simon was limping  towards him in the street,  his hair all snowhite,  he walked with a stick,  his joints were painful,  he looked happy to see him  like he was  happy to see him

They met in a close by bar in the evening  Simon  had  chosen the place,  he found Simon was in a corner seat reading the daily gazette,  two beers were on the table waiting for them 

They spent some time  on current issues  and of wars  before  settling down to speak of  tge past , Simon  left the theater in nineteen thirty six,  he was  losing  his accuracy in throwing the knife,    about other associates  Simon  informed  him  polar was dead  Pitts one year after  died of a stroke,  miss nelly was hit by a speeding  taxi  on her way to the movies 

page 19

 I am Walid hasin , could I ask your name,  I dare to ask because  now we no longer are strangers to each other 

Araz Ibrahim  this time she revealed her name without any hesitation , 

Fine this was our introduction  to get ourselves out of the circle of  unfamiliarity,  he came to stand next to the rock she was perched on 

Actually didn't get out of the circle restricting  us but from one  circle got out to get into another circle 

He screwed his eyes 

Introductions allow one to  enter  new circle,  it becomes mandatory to follow new rules to remain  active in the new circle,  she clutched her  wind swept hair with her hands,  Walid looked at her deeply  

You speak well  philosophically,  it's not really difficult to carry your identity in a different  country 

She  sat upright startled 

Nit at all,  this is what makes us different from other people 

Walid astonished looked a bit  longer at araz,  suddenly she started to appear  one of his  kind  and not so strange  remote and unfamiliar 

page 18

.... running deftly  hrs fingers on the keyboard suddenly slowed down,  hrs attention was drawn towards the ringing phone,  checking on the number  a shadow of worry descended on hrs face,  hrs hands lifted themselves off the keyboard,  all her thoughts and feelings that kept his mind in stress  began hammering his mind,  feeling awfully helpless he shut his eyes,  he didn't want to pick up the call so he didn't,  after  several more rounds of ringing the phone stopped , a few minutes later it again started ringing,  this time he decided to answer it , he was certain  the bell will  ring incessantly until he picked up the call

Thousands of times I have told you not to call me up 

But  yet I do ring you up  just imagine how  helpless I must be 

Her voice  carried so much  weight but now it gad no affect on him 

She pleaded  not to shut off 

I have no reason to speak with you,  excuse me he dropped the call,  breathing   heavily he  plugged the phone to the socket 

Hello brother what's up,  any tension haryana slightly opposed the door to take in a peek and enquire,  he was certain  brother was busy working on his computer  he dared not disturb him , but seeing him sitting  idle he had ventured in,  what was the reason to be so silent,  if you could  explain what's going on 

There is nothing in my life except thinking  about matters that are not relevant at all , saying that he stood up smiling  , he looked at the watch 

Are you going somewhere 

Yes,  I must go  somewhere  that doesn't invite me but my feet take me there,  the silence  attracts me 

Why do you speak in such a  suspense  manner  I don't understand  clearly 

That is fine,  why should you need to understand  my matters,  giving a heavy pat on his shoulder  he smiling brushed past him  to exit his room leaving hary  scratching his head and shaking it as always 

page 87

...his performance was getting affected,  that night it was a singing drama,  all he was to do was to  wave a flag  and March shouting  you ho ho , on his entry time  by mistake he carried an umbrella instead of a staff , the umbrella was left by someone around,  a commotion was created  in the audience,  his other  performers   were awfully annoyed,  tgeir etes flashing fire at him   , that turned  into  fierce blaze  when he  spoke ho ho ho  and forgot his lines of you ho ho, it wasn't Christmas show  , what made him  say Santa clause lines , when they left hus friends  showered  choicest of abuses on him,  he was sarcastically taunted at , tgey missed their old friend who was at least reliable 

All right  he r thought  he wasn't trustworthy  but then he wasn't a murderer like them too  , for next  two weeks he with a heavy heart   carried out his stage duties 

He felt like a coward,  the daring always are ready to accept challenges and face  situations,    the bold even would let others know  he was aware of their secrets and weaknesses 

from previous

...two years were spent  dragging the suitcases,  finally he got a chance to  participate in an act , perhaps it was  at poor haily s cost,  he  wanted to believe  a young man  was introduced who gave new life to the team,  after seven months of starting his new career  they arrived in New heavens  when  haily  s dying confession   sharpened his senses  and  his memory loss ended  dramatically 

One day he was in a small compact diner with his friends,  part of hus  hard earned money was being spent on his sandwich,  he overheard a middle aged couple  in the booth discussing local news

Oh yeah they found a dead woman's skeleton near the rail tracks,  she gad a brooch  by her side,  she must have been buried under long time ago  , recent  ones don't turn to skeletons  but remain  dead bodies,  awestruck hus fork dropped onto the floor 

He had heard it from  a cousin and soon enough  newspapers will   highlight it

aitaraaf

....he stood  on one side watching him die,  he was himself just seventeen  , it was  his first  experience of witnessing  such a scene,  he  adored  haily like his own father 

Let me get you a glass of water  haily miss Nellie left the room  on getting him water  he understood she  needed an escape

Simon  flicked some of the cigarette ash onto the floor  before looking at him  ,,you don't like it do you   this death scene  his voice was  gentle 

After two minutes  haily lifted hus hand and  gestured him to come closer,  he approached him,  he spoke  inaudible,  he bent over to carefully catch hus words,  he put his ear on his lips  simply to hear what was he trying to say 

We did wrong  whispered  haily,  something very wrong  very  very wrong 

What did you do,  he kept his own voice  so low that Simon wouldn't hear , he realized haily was trying to  confide in him,  you mean  before you fell outside 

No nonot that,  years ago,  we did  that long time ago  

Who are we , I don't understand clearly  Do you mean  you and your partners  by we 

We were booked at Saint pipers  groaning haily  spoke slowly,  our show was over  and we  went  in for drinks 

With whom 

With angel 

A woman?

Yes, we killed her and buried her under the rail tracks 

page 77

... it was drizzling since morning,  unexpected  showers had lifted everyone's mood,   mother and grandma were invited to a Quran recital in the neighborhood,  dadu was busy   , the whole atmosphere was spiritually charged,  dada Jan was  enjoying the company of his visitors in the drawing room discussing  politics,  and tge four of them  had their heads together  scheming something,  zanub git a number  from baba  s mobile  and also returned it , there wasn't any problem apparently,  it was Malika who had to call her,  the new generation smart educated girl  did make the call,  the bell was ringing  but nobody attended it , nobody likes to be kept on waiting,  she attempted  two three times more,  finally  it was picked up 

Aslamalekum  , please what is it  a most  heavy throaty voice  asked 

Walekum sakam , it's Malika speaking m you can  deny our relationship but  I am not at all interested in you  , she spoke her line and breathless shut the phone 

Zanub impressed by her  performance  patted her shoulder 

Very good  you cut off the call , boys are  bad and try taking advantage of girls 

The other three were  quite thrilled by her clever act,  certain  who will now want to get married to such a rude girl,  who has no  dignity  and  has no respect for others  and is so unabashed,  who has no shame,  so confident  and dared refuse ,  Malika felt  a satisfied  sense of relief 

sakoon qalab

... in the  kitchen  the  noisy  banging of  the dishes  continued,  the girls  looked meaningfully at each other  , it wasn't possible to show your suppressed annoyance to the elders  and the younger ones didn't bother and the kitchen dishes  could only makea their presence felt by making a lot of empty noise,  now the kitchenware had become the target of cruelty,  other girls were in the lounge spread out in a competition of eating  groundnuts  challenging each other,  heaps of dried peels  becoming bigger and bigger in size as the shopper of groundnuts  emptied down  to end the race 

What is your opinion about this garara  sadra pushed the mobile towards Maryam  to display a  light purple  and pink garara     looking  absolutely stunning  with a smiling model  posing  in the outfit   but sadra remained unaffected to its charms,  no dear  let's go for plazo with a rather long shirt  instead  and  get some  lacey embroidery done on the edges of the dupatta and  neckline  suggested Maryam and  sadra agreed  readily,   zenab was engrossed uncaring of them in reading  a novel 

from previous

.... for some unknown reasons she woke up late today,  perhaps both  spent the night talking,  thankfully  they  caught the tram quickly,   life is  full swing on  the roads of Rome in Italy,  both had same  office timings,  season of spring   adds  exotic beauty to the city of Rome  turning the historical city into a fabulous sensational place,  this city buries many extraordinary historical secrets inside  itself and  is a hub of several cultures,  yet this city  tirelessly   welcomes and entertains peoples and  never becomes old , , why did she arrive here believing  her life will be fulfilled  all her dreams will come true  but nothing like that happened,  the  attractions of the fantastic city held nothing for her,  her hopes were shattered,  sitting inside the tram she sighed  and turned to look out of the window   at the faces  walking around  , not a single face was familiar  all of them were absolutely strangers 

She wasn't  like this before,  how time  changes people  dramatically she thought,  she used to be so carefree fun loving person,  life  suddenly  scattered so many problems  on her  , it was something unexpected 

Her father was a mechanical engineer  settled  in Italy for the past eighteen years,  they were two sisters,  life was good,  then  something unpredictable happened,  father  started withdrawing  financial assistance,  , mother sherwat asked father,  he explained  he was going through financial crisis,  he had no job  that's why he couldn't afford to spend more 

She assured her father not to worry at all and doing her f s c she  took up a job , life was still good and things were  working out well 

hui chahaein muqadam

,,,, the massive  waves  noisily  leaped towards the  sky to embrace it  eagerly,  the sun was about to set in the western horizon,  tge last Sundays danced on the falling and rising  waves  merrily,  she released long cool sigh 

The sea held all it's  emotions deep down inside  yet appears so  silent peaceful,  the times  are so disciplined  and  follow the paradigm of touching the shores and returning   accurately and systematically  tirelessly,  not questioning  not answering,  don't they ever get exhausted   isn't it frustrating  but the sea remains  peaceful  with all its  actively  rising and  crashing  rippling waves , is it mandatory to have  depth for  maintaining silence and peacefulness.,   it is said  only those hearts  receive  peacefulness that  are  like seas , waves always return from the sides to disappear their identity peacefully  back into the  depths of the seas , the heart  throbs  emotional waves   chaotic turbulences  ruse and fall and then the dear heart finds eternal peacefulness  finally,  it stops bothering about its surroundings  and  becomes sensitive  to retain peacefulness,  only those hearts find peacefulness  that  seek peacefulness 

Many a times  there are many possibilities  she thought  why couldn't sge find what she wanted,  she dusted her hands  lifting  them  from the damp cool sand  and stood up and turned to look at the  sun set  casting its last golden glow 

page 55

...mir sahib  you  never expected me to visit your house  like this,  I am so grateful you gave me  time to see me 

Yasser sahib,  please don't  embarrass me,  it a great pleasure for me to entertain you  he spoke rather dryly and  looked at him expectantly 

He once again  expressed his condolences on manawar sultana s death  before asking him if manawar Sultana ever had  shown fears of being killed 

He  shook his head to express he didn't know  of it 

Do you have any clue or a letter  of any type to  show  sge was going to be killed 

He got offended but  hid his facial expression  carefully  and  denied any knowledge of it curtly 

He rephrased his same question  in a different way  but he again    denied any knowledge of this  at this moment khan Muhammad  brought tea for them , they began drinking their tea  in  silence,  then he  advised him to stay alert because he was so close to manwar Sultana  he spoke meaningfully,  he remained silent  nit reacting,  he became silent and  thoughtful,  he swallowed his tea and asked him his permission to leave,  he walked him to the door   and turned but the man was persistent and wanted to talk more about manawar Sultana   but he again showed him to the door rudely,  he came back to his reading room,  he picked up Manawatu Sultana  s letter and thought  of reading it , the time showed it was quarter past seven,  hotel seven star was situated  on the other end of the city  and it was a forty five minutes drive from his house,  he decided to read the letter later  and  left to reach the hotel,  he was in the lobby of the hotel at five minutes past eight  where Malik Yamin was waiting for him 

page 52

...he was in bed reading a book , it was a Sunday  the day  reserved for reading books  and because all the family members know  he would be busy  reading till the evening nobody  bothers to disturb him

Of course one would like to know what kind  of books  he likes to read so to clarify there he is deeply interested in good literature  and not at all in cheap thrillers  but those days he was diving into one suspense  thriller   by Silvia path  the novel  he had discovered  inside an old bookstore,  he was planning  to read it  and that Sunday he began reading it

It happened like this  he had his breakfast  followed by  a light walk around   he returned to his reading room  and  started turning the pages if the novel  and  got so much  involved into it that he forgot  his surroundings  at that moment he heard a knock on his door  , he was  startled because it was a Sunday  meant to be spent only in reading  and  its  a no work  no fun day,  mobile remains shut off ,  to avoid  distractions,  his wife and both children  know he is busy reading and avoid disturbing him,  untimely  knock on the door   made him  worried , he opened the door to find his wife  panting 

What happened,  is everything alright he asked her nervously 

Nothing is alright  she gathered herself  

Will you tell me what happened he said 

It's a news 9n the television 

Take a breath and  he handed her his glass of water kept on the side table 

She swallowed the water  still  out of breath 

That manwar sultana

Who

He could not  realize  who was she speaking of

Your class fellow  mabwar Sultana  she was shot dead 

sheher bewafa

....he became a killer  merely within five months of getting married to neelam , golden dreams of a happy married life suddenly shattered,   freedom  , air-conditioned rooms,  comfortable life  enjoyments  all disappeared  with all facilities  , he now spent  his days and nights in a dark cell 

Sometimes  lying in his hard bed he would recall  the pleasures  he had embraced  , hus arms remained empty,   he would look around his terrifying  surroundings  , he would awfully  feel hurt , with his   emotionally wide tearing eyes  he could only stare at the  lock up ,  caged like a flapping  bird helplessly 

It was one  more day he missed his good and bad old times,  he came back  home one evening from his firm,  tired as usual,  emerged from the washroom  refreshed,  took a small nap and quickly got up  because he was going out for dinner with neelam his wife that night  in a hotel,  , there  was a gambling room in the hotel,  he also  was getting interested in eating  good food cuisines  happily  , life was really exciting 

He was  still getting ready carefully  , neelam was all  dressed up and taking a stroll outside in the  corridor  looking at the  flowers growing,  his house was  profusely  growing  blossoms of all types  in every  nook and corner,  the maid early morning  every day  changed the blossoms in the cases,  rooms were filled with fresh floral  perfumes, 

He was whistling and looking at himself in the mirror  and suddenly  he heard  neelam screaming  and her frightened voice calling him  kamran dear  please save me, her voice  choked inside her throat , all her words died out

fitrat

...... car brakes   screeched to an unexpected halt , had the driver nit been  alert the woman  definitely would have been run over,  she was there in the middle of the road  waving frantically to stop the car  and screaming  for help,  her hair   spread out and she was  awfully frightened 

She ran towards the car when it stopped,   pleading fir help  , someone was after her life  frequently  glancing towards the  woods 

The driver turned to look  questioningly  at the doctor iin the back seat  ,, asking  wordlessly  what to  do 

The doctor  opened his mouth to say something  when  two men emerged from the canopy of trees holding small axes in their hands the woman began  banging tge car and screaming  , 

Doctor ali  without  wasting anymore time in thinking opened the other door and gestured her to get inside,  she quickly jumped In and  noisily  banged the door shut,  the car drove off at a fast speed,  within minutes the car was  racing on  on tbe roads 

The woman  visible relaxed against the back of her seat breathing  deep  and sighing,  the   were left behind  looking helplessly  as the car disappeared  out of sight,  perhaps they didn't have any vehicle  or they would have followed the  vanishing car, when the car  was out if sight both men looked at each other meaningfully and shook hands and broke into a guffaw  and turned to go back from the same place they had emerged 

..page 10

...after arsalan life  stopped completely,  there were just two members the house,  Ghana and arsalan  s ammi,  as if happiness had turned away from them  in life,  monotonous life , both women  emotionally  shattered,  both   wrapped up in gloomy memories of arsalan   hurt and suffering,  tears had  permanently settled into their eyes, Ghana would look at her mother in law  and feel bad for her,  her only son's unexpected  untimely demise had left both women  broken,  they were   living dead , arsalan  s mother looked at her young  widow of her son her heart  pained , how  happily content was arsalan in his life  with his life companion  , every time she was aboard flight he missed her madly 

Missing Ghana  mother would ask arsalan 

I am getting used to this  ammi 

 He would say embarrassed 

This is love my dear prince 

 She would explain  affectionately 

How could you say that 

I also got used to  this loneliness  with your father,  waiting  tireless endlessly  fir him to return home,  frequently  glancing at the watch,  counting the  minutes  

Papa left  too early 

He left me  absolutely alone  in this world,  I would have quickly joined him but I had to live to raise you  you were  my only  hope of life 

Ghana filled the whole house with her lively presence,  mother  was happy for   them  , the bonding between Ghana and mother wasn't the typical  daughter and mother in law  relationship,  both were respectful  and maintained  a friendly formal relationship  mother always  prayed  when Ghana  left for work,  the three of them  together  were very  sincere to each other 

page 241

.... after a while both mother and daughter sat at the dining table facing each other,  there was a piece of paper in Molly's hand  , some mathematical  account was scribbled on it , this was the piece of paper alone with which she had gone to her room 

Mom do you remember that day  when Wendy was lost  asked Molly  in a most serious manner 

Yes of course  she had dressed up and left with someone  replied mom

Then you had handed me a red and  black  coupon  and sent me to the garage to get the  car repaired 

Oh yes I remember clearly 

At the garage  car oil also was changed  and the garage  stuck their sticker  on the car with the date and mileage  registered in it

 Molly spoke looking at the piece of paper,  the sticker is still stuck inside the car,  the odometer reading shows it had already covered  one lakh eighteen thousand four hundred two kilometers,  Molly paused and released a long sigh 

 And added  you also know  Salukis us a small township  , everything is available within  one or two kilometers diameter,  we both used the car to travel together long distance to reach that village ten miles away to find out more about  Wendy,  it means  going and returning trip was hardly twenty kilometers  so it ought to be added up becomes one lakh eighteen thousand four hundred twenty two 

What are you aiming at

Wendy is missing fifteen days 

I don't drive 

It's you answerable 

ehsaas e kamtri

..,feelings are  mandatory to humans  in life,  one cannot escape  from  feelings,  life presents  innumerable such desires   all of them cannot be  fulfilled,   humans  are  made to desire,  man cannot  live without  feelings and desires,  humans  have feelings and desires  that make them so humane  and when their desires are not fulfilled they are filled with negative feelings of hopelessness  , he goes into  a state of   low self esteem 

There are various reasons  of this  feeling  , not having enough money is the main cause,   comparing oneself with better offs in beauty states education and  skills  all lead to low self esteem,  unhappy childhood  , bad experiences in life  and   several   inabilities   push  one into  a sad state of mind,  such a pathetic person  is emotionally weak and remains  envious of others,  he cannot harm others but himself   keeps on fuming   damaging his own life and personality,  hus nature and habits   cut him off from his loved ones  , he keeps on complaining unreasonably,  he becomes lonely,  he stays depressed  ,  others  get infected by his negative feelings m this us a chronic condition of a man with low self esteem,  it gets worse and worse  if not checked  on time 

Some useful tips to tackle  low self esteem 

Like yourself 

Know your plus points 

Stay positive 

Think good 

Celebrate your accomplishments 

Learn to accept  compliments 

Inspire others 

Keep yourself busy 

Learn new skills 

Engage yourself in outdoor activities 

page 8

...her breathing  stopped,  heartbeats  slowed down  body turned to stone 

No.,no sge mumbled  this can not happen  how can this be possible,   perhaps it was her  illusion or   deception,  it couldn't be   real what she was seeing  it couldn't really be real 

Approximately after six months she was back on duty  and hiw did sge spend all this time only she could have told,  life had come to a complete stand still after arsalan  , she was now left alone with arsalan s memories,  her heart was  withdrawn from all excitements and enjoyments in life,  arsalan was her life,  he had left her all alone by herself  in a deep sea of sorrow  to himself settle down in the valley of death,  unbelievable  it was  that he proved  so unfaithful   , unimaginable it was  he would  leave her to join  something  beyond life itself,  her  eyes hurt searching for his existence  in life around her , she sat watching  intensely into the aur , overwhelmed she looked for him in the clouds above, ,  calling out for him urgently in her dreams,  he would  remain  illusive  out if reach never to return  and unresponsive,  he wasn't like this   so heartless,  , but  it was impossible to find him,  he was  sleeping buried in his grave 

qatil maseeha

...within a couple of minutes the  approaching lights reached us  , they were about twenty men,  all of them clothed heavily,  heads covered with  woollen caps,  most of them held  gas lamps,  he saw wolves all around,  it was  a scary experience,  it was the first time he saw   chains on their necks,  in the dark tgeir dtes shone dangerously,  several of them  carried axes and daggers,  just one or two  were armed with rifles 

Imran whispered in his ear  he believed  majority of them were women 

He also thought so  and agreed,  a very  large woman  emerged,  she had pointed ber automatic rifle towards them,  she had seen the dead women fallen on the snow  killed by jaggu woman,  she roared  fiercely  we don't understand words 

Ma'am Maura looked questioningly  at mansoor Singh  standing nearby,  he explained  the fierce woman wrongly thought they had killed them all,   the group of women was  getting  quite aggressive  and could do anything unexpected 

Ma'am Maura opened her mouth to speak  but he spoke up before her  , he asked  mansoor Singh to let them know  they were not the killers  in fact they had tried to protect them 

from previous

..it was the last phase of the night,  Molly had occupied the driving seat of tge old  car , mom was present in the passenger seat next to her   and  incessantly crying remembering  Wendy,  her  uncontrollable  sobbing  and sighing   were leaving a hard impact on Molly , she was  getting distracted and emotionally disturbed by Martha s constant  weeping 

Oh my dear child  was frightened when I called her up  on the phone,  I can't say what all she must have gone through  with that villain 

They had driven out of their area by now,  the rickety  vintage car slowly and steadily  moved on noisily  through the uneven rough route  through the jungle , Molly was not familiar with the track  to the house of guss,  she was  following mom's  directions 

The jungle was  unfolding  in sprawling  miles ahead,  there were  farmhouses and   residential trailers  on the way   several of them  shrouded in the dark,  Molly was more worried what if tgeir old vintage car broke down   and stopped in this unfamiliar place,  she didn't want to think any further,  this was enough to scare her wits out, ,  in the middle of a dark thick jungle,  unknown terrain,  old car, secluded  isolated from the rest of the world,  jungles  are natural habitats to  the wildlife